Title: Two to lead
Author: Missile Envy
Rating: M
Pairing: Harry/OC
Genre: General, Action
Words: 338576
Status: complete, sequal is a WIP
Summary: Why is Harry playing juvenile delinquent? Why is Voldemort sending Death Eaters halfway around the world to kidnap an uneducated teenager? Why would someone dump a successful career in favor of teaching a bunch of schoolkids? Why doesn't Lupin have a sex life? entirely gratuitous sex, violence, language and lengthy descriptions of Lucius Malfoy's hair.
Link: http://www.fictionalley.org/authors/missile_envy/TTL01.html

Good grammer and mechanics; it will be one of those fanfics that you either love or dispise.

4/5

 

... This looks a bit like the contributions we get in the 'Worst summery' thread.

I can't be assed to look it over now, but when I get some time I might see if its worth anything.

From the summery however you might want to be ready to take some abuse Wheezy

 

haha
Thats the authors summary, not mine. I didn't know that I had to post my own
whoops.

 

There's never been a better time than NAO to summarize.

 

The story is... tedious. It seems like it could be interesting, but it's just not. The way the viewpoints are switching around is far to random for my tastes, even if I know they'll probably all coalesce into a central plot sooner or later. Not my cup of tea, but I can understand why some people would enjoy this story.

 

So looooooooooooooooooong... does anything ever happen in this? I made it like 10 chapters in and nothing significant had happened yet. Ye Gods.

 

Author-insert OC in the first chapter. Looks like it will be the standard 'perfect muggle looking for badass.' Maybe muggleborn; they usually end up that way.

OC scene immediately followed by a random cut to Vancouver, Canada to meet a selection of other OCs. Ten bucks says they're inserts of the authors friends and/or family.

If this thread wasn't a 5star rating, I'd quit now. Even if it suddenly becomes wonderful next chapter I'd be left wondering who was dense enough to rate that high.

At the moment, 2/5 tops. I'll reserve my actual rating until I've read four or five chapters, but I don't see it going anywhere but down.


Edited to add, for your viewing pleasure:

Anybody see any Harry Potter in there?

Edit #2:
I'm sorry, but fuck this. I can't make it through the first chapter of this drivel. It's technically decent, but the plot is absolute shit; its one giant author insert. Kill it. Kill it with fire.

 

Right.

First chapter:

~We have 'Guardians' who apparently have superpowers.
~An OFC is coming (from Canada) to be the DADA professor and apparently become Remus' own Mary-Sue
~We have Good!Draco
~Fairly main character sounding Ginny (who has a crush on Malfoy)
~We have Harry being a self-pitying pussy.
~And another OFC who is Harry's age, has been captured by DEs but was plucky and fighting all the same, is at least bilingual, is apparently attractive and into one-night stands. Can anyone guess what the pairing will be here?

I really don't want to read more. Really.

I won't vote, because I didn't finish it, but I would give first chapter 2/5 for writing style, 1/5 for ideas.

 

pretty much

 

I assume you are agreeing with the post right above you, if that is the case, why the hell did you recommend this.

This isn't the "lulz cuz its fail story" thread.

And Mary Sue for Remus? Jeez.

Ginny crushing on Draco. Wouldn't wish it on even that girl.

 

-{Shakes head}-

I warned you.

In the future I'd suggest not posting a story unless it either A) Has a better than 60% chance of making our more moderated members jaws drop, or B) has at least one line (Which you better point out) that is absolutely Hilarious either in or out of context.

Honestly, what little of it I've read is 2ish. Not my type of fic, to many OC's, and to be honest insert (self or otherwise) fics are by and large crap. In fact I don't believe I've ever found one that I would recommend.

2/5

 

It's people like these that make me scowl in indignation! These halfwits can easily put out 300000+ words while good authors stew in hiatus.

1/5. The concepts are just so bad. The presence of reasonable grammar is like only having a small strip of skin on your lip being torn off when the every bone of your body is shattered.

Small consolation.

Keep your "love or despise" fics to yourself Wheezy.

 

Speaking of stewing in hiatus, what's going on with Assassin's Creed?

 

Like you Andromalius? When are we gonna get another chapter of To Define Treachery?

 

ok
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The point is not whether someone will either love it or hate it, but how many love it. I suggest screening such stories through the Potter Laws. If not many were broken, then you can justifiably say many will either love it, and a few won't.

Had you done this, you would have noted that it broke the OC rule, and god knows how many others. This would have been a good indicator that this most likely won't make it into the library.

I sprained a giblet.

... I lost the chapter's changes when Word didn't save.

I have an earlier draft, though, and the muse has returned somewhat, but it's like I've been taken to the bar and then sat in a dark corner while she prances off and forgets about me. She returns with a drink and apology, but I won't be forgetting this - oh no!

Treachery 6 is on the cusp of completion, save for transitionary paragraphs.

I'll probably have updates for all my stuff shortly after May 6... AP exams you know...

Edit: Actually, I really like the "I sprained a giblet" excuse. (it happened to the roadrunner, forcing Bugs Bunny to step into his shoes). I'll use it when I update on FFnet.