Title: Understanding
Author: AbstractError
Rating: M
Genre: Fantasy
Status: In progress*
Fandom: Bleach
Pairings: N/A
Summary: Szayel Aporro Granz,' the Octava said, graciously brushing his pink tresses off his forehead. 'Here to shake, rock, adapt, and, more pointedly, electrify your world.
Link: Understanding

Where to begin? I always find this to be something of an issue with stories I recommend. How to properly convey my thoughts on the authors work, and in so doing, persuade others to peruse said piece. Nonetheless I shall do my best and I can only hope that those of you here on DLP might take the time to write a more eloquent and comprehensive review than myself.

Understanding is a Bleach AU which poses the interesting question of what precisely could happen if Aizen's forces rebelled against him during the Hueco Mundo arc. The key characters are primarily the Espada although the shinigami elite do get their fair share of screen time as well.

The writing itself is superb, I would almost dare to say it rivals some of the best DLP has to offer in regards to narrative construction. There is the occasional typo which could easily be cleared up by a beta but nothing which truly detracts from the story itself. The plot is also well thought out but hard to describe without ruining the story. What I can say is that characters remain consistent and that there are various small and not so small surprises scattered throughout.

Annoyingly I my must take my leave soon and so I shall finish with this somewhat inadequate note; those of you who have already begun skimming the story will spot that it is not precisely new and, in fact, some time has passed since the last update. The story is tantalizingly close to its conclusion and I have been in contact with the author to determine if he ever intends to finish it. His response was that he has the last few chapters in a draft form and fully intends to finish it eventually and I have chosen to remain optimistic in this regard.

 

^ That's really how you write your posts on forums?

The writing is indeed proficient, but frustratingly unbalanced.

You can see how there's a bit of poeticism and a creative and visual mind at work, but it overshoots a little and revels too much in wordiness. Many clauses in his sentences like "dispensing whichever of them he could" just look ungraceful and ugly, especially in contrast with the beautiful bits like the sand castle imagery.

It's puzzling because you usually only see this tendency to spew verbiage in writers who aren't too good, but have a decent vocabulary they can use to fill the void.

This writer has a good deal of talent, so he really needs to realize that he doesn't need to write in this overly-dense way.

And then some of the writing is outright horrible, so as to make you think "Did the author just write that?"

But it's clear the writer is talented, but he overshoots with his writing and now he needs to trim off the fat. He just can't communicate very simple advances in the story progression because he buries everything in these bizarrely over-complicated passages.

The writing would merit a 3/5, as it's really 5/5-level writing that's crippled somewhat by the author's lack of discipline and editing. I'd like to try and make it further than the first two chapters, but the useless summary gives no indication of the plot and I couldn't pick up much besides a little contemplation in the first chapter and a seven-sins conversation in the second.

Edit: Didn't realize you gave a summary yourself. The Espada rebelling against Aizen is actually one of the best idea that the Bleach fandom every came up with. I skipped to the last chapter to see if the writing style changed (it has, but the most recent chapter was quite dull) and saw that the author uses the King's Guard, a piece of canon which is cool but which has never been used in Bleach fanfiction somehow. The fact this author is utilizing them is itself indicates the story's quality is no doubt great.

So yeah, this is basically the best Bleach writer writing the best Bleach story (of course excluding Nuhuh, who's technically writing a crossover), but you have to be able to tolerate the ungainly writing.

 

Bumped to gain votes and reviews.

The story is collecting dust in here for a month now.

If it doesn't get further reviews within the next week, I'll place it in the Recycling Bin. One five-star vote isn't enough to justify moving it into the library, especially as Andro's review points at "almost recommendable" rather than "outstanding".

 

I've been following this story for some time. It's a good story, but as Andro says, the verbiage is sometimes annoying enough to justify taking off a point or a half.

However, that will still leave the story at a 4/5 in my book, something few Bleach stories have achieved.

(This will change once if I ever get around to writing that Dweller-of-the-Valley-of-Screams!Ichigo I've been thinking of writing. Or not.)

But on to the review:

The author is talented, no denying that. I could point a line or two in every chapter I'd have been glad to have written, if I looked around. The characters are looked at with a magnifying glass, and their thoughts leap off the page (screen?) at (rare) times.

Which helps shade the fact that how little plot (what plot?) or character development there is.

How many characters we've seen develop truly, I ask? Lilinette is helping poor little pluses, you say? I'd think she was indifferent to them before, and not much has changed on her side. Ukitake? A lot of thoughts and words, but just how has he changed? Unohana? A little. Aporro? Hell no. They're all props. Characters to give us some breathing space between the monologues of one whiny fucker.

This whole story, ultimately, has been a story about Coyote Stark.

The story is flabby with words. 80% of the chapters could be cut down to half their size without sacrificing too much content. Maybe I'm being unfair, but I feel the same about 80% of the characters, too. It's all Stark, Stark, Stark. And while his character is interestingly developed and analyzed, the author takes too much space for it. The payout, in the end, is not enough. It has reached a point that when I see a new update these days, I wince inside. Because I know I'll read it, and enjoy it to a point, but it'll still end up as somewhat of a loss.

Don't let this review scare you off, though. Because this shit is still better than 99% of Bleach fics out there. And when it shines, it shines with a brilliant light.

Half a point taken off for too many words. So that brings it down to a 4/5.