Title: Unexpected
Author: Comet360
Rating: K+
Genre: Humor/Adventure
Chapters: 8
Words: 60,937
Status: Work in Progress
Pairings: Undecided
Summary: Expectations are funny things as the Wizarding world learns when introduced to a Harry that has inherited James' confidence and Lily's charm and a complete disregard to anything that doesn't affect him. Who cares about rocks and stuttering professors when they've got dragons and godfathers who didn't wait thirteen years to break out of prison to play with?
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8197771/1/Unexpected

This story was just updated, and I realised that it hadn't been put up for review. So I thought I would let you guys know about it.

Its a talented Harry done well, as far as I'm concerned. Quite funny in places and interesting all the way through. It starts in the first year, but it progresses quickly and is now in the fifth year. It has an original take on a lot of things like how Sirius was handled and Lupin for that sake.

It's pretty under appreciated, with only 67 reviews, but I really enjoy it, and I hope you will as well

Edit: I should point out its a humor fic, but not all the way over in crack.

 

This isn't as much talented Harry done right as Make a wish done straight.

Harry constantly stumbles into the easy way out of every situation and into just enough trouble to keep the plot in canon tracks. It reads like a script instead of a book and nothing is sufficiently explained.

I read up to the point where they are preparing for "The War" and Harry is fixing every grownups mistakes. I couldn't get past it, because Harry seemed to be getting way to Genre Savvy for my liking.

All of that paired with the fact that everyone constantly fell for Harry's "charm" game me the impression that this is actually a some sort of a fever dream. Like Harry is being tortured and this is something he cooked up to deal with the pain.

 

It's amusing at places but something about the sequence of events bothers me. It always turns out for the better. There is no sense of any struggle or effort, what little conflict there is is brushed over in a few scenes rather than fleshed out creating an emotional disconnect. You are told that Harry was effected by the ending of Second Year, but you don't see it. At all.

The other problem with the author's use of scenes is that things just "happen" without any explanation or reason. See: Harry and the Stone. Why? No build up, no clues, it just is. That seems lazy.

It's also very modern day Americanised, which is a small nitpick I suppose but it still detracts from the whole when you read things like "Dean gave him the finger" or "what's up?"

I got to the second part of Fourth year and couldn't keep going. I can just see everything working out, no sense of danger or tension. Most of the emotional consequences are skipped over with short references. Harry himself is rather boring and quickly became a caricature rather than a person, and I can't tell he's charming at all.

I'm going to give this a 3/5. No problems with grammar as far as I can tell, decently written but it doesn't do anything new and tends to pave the protagonists path with gold more often than not.

 

Eh. It's mildly entertaining, but there's really no substance to it. There's no good reason for why Harry's so OOC, and the story is forced to jump around endlessly to fit the 1 chapter/year format, which leaves it as just a series of very, very short, vaguely-connected one-shots. On top of that, it's loaded with fanon cliches. That's not necessarily a bad thing if they're used cleverly, but they aren't. They're just thrown out there.

2/5

 

Well I liked it. The writing is solid and the plot interesting, if lighthearted.
I would like to see this in the library, and I am only slightly generous with my 4/5.

 

I really don't like the writing style all that much, but I have to admit, it does keep me vaguely entertained. I think it's perfect for the Almost Recommendable thread, 3/5.

 

A decent read. Like some people already said, Harry here is to much of a Gary/Mary Sue, too bloody perfect and damn lucky too. But the writing is solid, the characters a little vague but good enough.

The two main problem are:
1 - He keeps changing POVs, especially in the first chapters. The author isn't good enough to pull that. I got confused, lost some parts of the story and is annoying.
2 - I don't feel the conflictof this story. Everything turns out for better, why should we worry? Harry is percet, everything will be sortes out in the end.

3/5, this fic is nothing special, but it is readable and Harry has his moments.

 

While I found it an entertaining read, provided one doesn't overthink things, the story suffers from a few larger, structural weaknesses--the lack of a very coherent plot, a few niggling plot holes, no overarching conflict binding it together, an inconsistent and episodic feel--but nevertheless has little pearls of goodness, particularly some of the characterizations. The Luna scenes are very good. Padma is entertaining. the Harry/Sirius interaction is quite good as well.

I would be interested in reading more by this author, though would prefer if he/she were to attempt another story, building on the experience of this one, rather than see this piece through to completion. The foundation is shaky and the end product might be fairly good but won't be very good.

I believe this author is capable of writing Library-quality stories, but this one doesn't belong. 3/5

 

Whilst the story seems ok, I'm not a big fan of the tense. Writing in present tense - 'says' instead of 'said' - always seemed more like a device used in poetry than in prose, and I don't think it fits the story. Maybe it's just because I'm accustomed to last tense, but it feels odd.

And again, the same problem others have mentioned with the conflict resolution. The entireity of Philosopher's Stone overwritten by a literal hand wave? Not great. I can appreciate wanting to get it over and done with, but I just don't think enough was written to make it make sense.

I'll read on, and rate later.

 

Not a bad story, but not worth a spot in the library. It's very light, so quick to get through in a short time. It's one of those stories that if your intention is to pick it apart, you'll find plenty of issues, but if you just read it and let yourself enjoy it, then it's not bad and at least mildly entertaining.

I'll give it a 3/5, though there are a lot of stories rated lower on DLP that I think are better than this.

 

I enjoyed that it seems to be deviating from the plot of canon, but it doesnt appear to be doing it in a very coherent way. The Remus, potential new Dark Lord, and Padma plotlines are barely even touched on, and certainly not developed. Its odd.