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Abandoned Unforgiven by Grinning Lizard - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Taure, Jun 19, 2007.

  1. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    High Score:
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    Title: Unforgiven
    Author: Grinning Lizard
    Rating: M
    Genre: General
    DLP Category: Alternates
    Pairing: None yet
    Chapters: 27
    Words: 145,911
    Updated: November 1, 2010
    Published: April 23, 2007
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: Harry Potter... different. Not an original idea but an original story. AU small change in time makes Harry run from the Dursleys' household. He turns up at Hogwarts a few years later, having survived alone. No set ships no slash. M for Language & Violence

    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3504831/1/

    Street-rat!Harry, but without the annoying accent and angst and fluffyness. Quite realistic too with how harry would react to the magical world, and he's made an interesting wizarding underground as a backdrop.


    Checked by Minion, January 9, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 9, 2013
  2. Klael

    Klael Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Holy crap you're back! Good to see you again.
     
  3. rj_stone2

    rj_stone2 Seventh Year

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    I think this story might be in the library already.

    It's strange, it has many many cliches that usually drive me crazy, but something about the writing makes it enjoyable anyway. We'll see if it stays good once it becomes more Hogwarts-centric.

    ETA: The story is not in the library, I had been following it on IP82's C2 and got confused. I remain ambivalent as to whether it will become library worthy.
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2007
  4. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

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    577
    Nice read, give it a try.
     
  5. Spacks

    Spacks Order Member DLP Supporter

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    You just made Surarrin cream his pants.
     
  6. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    I've been following this one for a while. At times it's a bit confusing and too introspective, but the payoff is definitely worth the hassle of plowing through the angsty parts.
     
  7. Klael

    Klael Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Well, it's alright, though the ninja-harry angle is a bit overdone--i'm fairly impressed that the author hasnt had the sword actually be used yet. The so-called cliches aren't that bad, and they're done in newer, more interesting ways. 4/5
     
  8. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

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    I... liked it. There wasn't a single part I found wrong with it, other than the sometimes confusing fight scenes. The one in the dentists office had me double back to make sure what the fuck was happening. If he worked on that one aspect, it would be perfect.

    5/5 for me.
     
  9. TripticWriter

    TripticWriter Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2006
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    France
    First chapter is total crap, rush and hard to make sense of. The rest of the story is really enjoyable.

    4/5
     
  10. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The comments already made reflect my own opinions pretty well; I kept with the story at first due to sheer curiosity, as it was a bit annoying. Even the massive fight in the dark frustrated me a bit, as it just seemed a tad cliched. Once Harry got into the damn Wizarding World, the story really picked up. Now I actually want to find out what happens next.

    4/5

    -J
     
  11. LT2000

    LT2000 Heir

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    Not bad so far, Harry still landing in Gryffindor and becoming friends with Ron and Hermione is a bit of a negative. I like my AU's to deviate as much from canon as possible.

    4/5
     
  12. malaga

    malaga Auror

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    Location:
    New Zealand
    Yeah, that does detract a bit from the story. I prefer politics to fighting anyway, so I don't mind the confusion there. It wins brownie points with me anyway, just for addressing where Harry gets his cigarettes. Every Badass!Harry fic has him smoking at Hogwarts, but noone says where he gets them.

    I just realised what a tangent I went off on, so I'll stop now. 3.5/5
     
  13. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

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    This story is the weirdest ones I'ver read. It wasn't really a good story though. It's mainly an average story in some aspects. 3/5 for me on this one.

    Richard.
     
  14. Vir

    Vir Centauri Ambassador ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    There have been a couple of things which have bothered me about this story. The smoking angle mostly. I find that the aspect of 'smoking harry' seems to be cloesly related to 'stupid harry.'

    There are many reasons not to smoke, first amongst them being you smell and that's another way that you can be detected. I'm mostly against smoking for tactical reasons in this story. (reliance on an external stimuli).

    Other then that the martial arts was a bit odd but done well enough. I wouldn't have minded Harry being in a different house.

    Overall 4/5 for me.
     
  15. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    It's even more stupid when you consider that it's an expensive habit and Harry was so poor he had to conjure his own food and steal to get by. He can't buy food or clothes but he can buy smokes. :chainsaw:

    Otherwise, the story isn't too bad. Even cliches like the magic trunk are done from a fresh new perspective and don't detract from the story (unless you're one of those people who are against cliches because they are cliches, regardless of implementation). I like the way his 'art' is handled too.
     
  16. Le

    Le Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2006
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    134
    I really liked it. I thought that the cliches were used in ways that were somewhat original. I also thought that the style of writing was very well suited to the plot. 5/5
     
  17. Klael

    Klael Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Smoking didn't really come into the picture until he was used to being in the streets, did it?

    Another thing, though: Why doesnt he just conjure cigarettes?
     
  18. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

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    I enjoy it, though it does piss me off that he smokes. I'll give it a 4/5, because I think it belongs in the library, but it isn't totally great.

    Also, it as the first few letters as Unsung Hero, this raise my hopes when I get an email alert, only to have them come crashing down.
     
  19. Marie M

    Marie M Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2007
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    349
    I really liked it. Everything was perfect and I can't wait for an update, it belongs in library, no doubt about that.
    4.5/5
     
  20. Voice of the Nephilim

    Voice of the Nephilim Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    Updated.

    Some great, hectically written fight scenes in chapter 23.
     
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