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Abandoned Unknown Soldier by DarklingDragon - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Azrael's Little Helper, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. you_dont_know_who

    you_dont_know_who Muggle

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2008
    Messages:
    2
    Location:
    US
    Well. This story really did creep me out. I've read some fics that were under "horror" genre for no particular reason i could discern, but this story takes it to the next step. IMHO Should be put under Psych-thriller category. I agree the first two chapters were pretty bland and dull read, but third and fourth were worth the time spent reading.


    4.5/5
     
  2. ForsakenOne

    ForsakenOne Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Messages:
    383
    This creeped you out? Jesus, you should get out of DLP or the mature section, FAST!.
     
  3. Oujou Akaash

    Oujou Akaash Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2006
    Messages:
    783
    hehe, this story is nothing compared to what Vash cooks up. Bless his corrupted soul, he has enough imagination to render someone insane.
     
  4. Philly Homer

    Philly Homer What you call elephant cum I call mouthwash

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2007
    Messages:
    578
    Location:
    Look at the name, it should be obvious.
    The story just got updated, and wow what an update it was. I can honestly say this was one of the best chapters I have ever had the fortune to read.

    The chapter's beginning was awesome with us finding out just how emotion less Harry has become. Harry doesn't think of anyone's feelings anymore, he merely makes casual observations about them, and tries to take advantage of those observations when he can. I think his calculating nature exemplifies his heartlessness.

    One of the most entertaining part of the chapter was Harry's view of werewolves. It was bone-chilling to read, and a nice reminder to the reader about Harry's past life. Judging from this I doubt we will see any Harry- Remus stuff, unless of course it is Harry stabbing Remus in the back with a silver dagger.


    Harry's interaction with Susan was a thrill to read, especially with the reader knowing all along that Harry was manipulating poor, innocent, and smitten Susan, the whole time. It reinforces Harry's ruthlessness, along with his line at the end, of how great of an actor he was, by manipulating the younger Bones.

    In my humble opinion, this is exactly what an assassin!Harry story should feel and be like.
     
  5. Sporangia

    Sporangia First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    Messages:
    36
    Location:
    California
    And a creepily interesting interlude on the same day. The last scene reminded me a bit of the dissections in Speaker for the Dead. I can't quite figure out the connection between the events and Harry's story, but I guess we'll get the clues later.
     
  6. Drake

    Drake Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Messages:
    270
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Maryland
    Well I'm pretty sure the author meant Harry when Robards is recalling the young boy that asked for his help, so that is one connection. Damocles research is probably important to the plot. And I have no clue what the scenes with the mother and her child tie into. I guess we'll have to wait for later chapters.
     
  7. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    833
    Location:
    Iceland
    This is probably my most anticipated story update at the moment. I really loved the assassination and the dark atmosphere. Plot sounds extremely interesting also.

    5/5
     
  8. Khortez

    Khortez Third Year

    Joined:
    May 15, 2007
    Messages:
    82
    I don't understand how it was that Susan didn't die as well, since at no point did she wash her lips with water, nor was she described to be licking her lips.
     
  9. Azrael's Little Helper

    Azrael's Little Helper High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2006
    Messages:
    539
    Location:
    Sydney
    I think she had only one part of the catalysing ingredients on her lips. By itself it wouldn't kill her but Amelia Bones probably had ingested or come into contact with the other reagents Harry planted and thus popped her clogs.
     
  10. vinais

    vinais Second Year

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    56
    Location:
    Mumbai, India
    Anyone else get the feeling that Damocles's letter was to Dumbledore? Maybe he's giving him info on Harry?

    Loved the story till now. Best Assassin Harry i've read.
     
  11. charmega

    charmega Squib

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2008
    Messages:
    7
    I like this story so far, it has an interesting concept.
     
  12. jaspernoone

    jaspernoone First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2006
    Messages:
    44
    Location:
    Guanaba
    Read it, liked it, want more of it, its got a slightly horrorific feel to it, but it just doesn't feel scary, like if it was vash, he'ed of made it feel right scary right, but this bloke...i dont know, it seems like he's trying to get the scary crap out, buts its as if he's scary anus is constipated
     
  13. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,669
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    It's an okay story, but extremely slow. We're 6 chapters in, and have only just caught up to the summary. Not a good sign...
     
  14. blackghost

    blackghost Third Year

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Messages:
    88
    Agreed.
    I love the story and the feel of it but it has the feel of 'I might be abandoned for months' to it. I have hope that the author isn't ADD pro... oh look a pretty kitten. pets
     
  15. Inziladun

    Inziladun First Year

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2008
    Messages:
    29
    Location:
    Spain
    Don't really like the loss of memory thing, it makes him too dependent on Rockwood and Crouch, I hope he recovers parts of it, Lily's teachings seems to great to go to waste.

    I have good expectations for this fic, Harry hates Deatheaters even if he doesn't remember it, and he is showing sings of independence. I hope he will be creating havoc soon.

    Apart from that, my opinion on this fic will depend on whatever the author makes with Harry, a dummy can't be interesting for long.

    Even if last chapter didn't make much sense to me I assume it will soon, so 4/5 right now.
     
  16. Wh0t

    Wh0t Backtraced DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2008
    Messages:
    9
    Location:
    Ireland
    I have read it and I would give it a 4/5

    One chapter though really freaked me out :eek:
     
  17. Orm Embar

    Orm Embar Auror

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Messages:
    605
    Location:
    On the shores of Selidor
    Personally, I loved what he did to Amelia bones. Easily a strong 4/5.
     
  18. Lophaetus Occipitalis

    Lophaetus Occipitalis First Year

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2008
    Messages:
    22
    Location:
    Conneticut
    I liked this story a lot. The one problem I can't get over though is when, in the beginning of the third chapter, it describes Sirius going through the passage to the shop "wand held tightly in an underhanded grip". Under hand? How could you cast a spells like that, especially the ones that require some degree of pre-spell movement (i.e. swish, flick, wave etc.). Other than that a 4/5 at least.
     
  19. Chaos Demon

    Chaos Demon Squib

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2009
    Messages:
    17
    Location:
    Somewhere that I hope you aren't. Disposing of the
    It's alright and holds alot of potential, but the slight spelling problems and the sporadic updates are quite annnoying.
     
  20. meatzman2

    meatzman2 Backtraced

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    526
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    I would wager that he has stopped with fanfiction, his profile has not been updated since may of last year and considering the fairly regular nature of his updates before that.

    It's a shame considering that his fics were pretty good, that last chapter of his in particular certainly got me excited (not that way you dirty bastards).