Saw it the other night. From a historical perspective it pissed me right off, but considering it was based on a graphic novel and we've already had bizarre elephant monsters in the first one, eh.

It's mindless fun and provided you watch that with that in mind it's fine. Plus Eva Green.

 

It's a sequel, and like true sequel fashion it can't compare to the first. A good time waster, but if I knew what it was going to be like I would of just waited until it was released.

Overall the movie felt underwhelming. Speeches that were meant to get the blood boiling fell flat, with uninspired roaring from the actors after said speeches. The violence was nowhere near as enjoyable compared to 300.

The naval battles while fun, only achieved to slow the movie down until we saw the next uber tactic. Time that should of been spent on more bloodshed.

Spoiler

We really didn't need a horse jumping from ship to ship. Then when the Spartans finally show up at the end to make it interesting, the movie finishes.

The movie still looks awesome and on a somewhat plus note, they left it wide open for a third installment with Spartans vs. Xerxes.

In conclusion to improve, more violence. Violence always fixes otherwise mediocre movies.

 

Presidencies, too.

 

So according to the Nerdist, the director of the Doctor Strange movie has decided that the Sorcerer Supreme will not be tapping into magic for his powers; it will actually just be quantum physics, and he will be a quantum physicist.

I just wanted to let you guys know about this, because when you hear about a random small-time Hollywood director having had their head crudely sawn off and human fecal matter shoved forcibly down their gaping esophagus, I didn't want you to think it was a random act of homicidal violence.

We had a good run. We really did. We made it about four movies further into the Marvel movie continuity than I thought we ever would before they completely shat things up, but I guess them shitting everything up was ultimately inevitable, particularly considering they have become chronically allergic to fantasy content in any shape or form over the last decade. Disregarding The Lord of the Rings, which Peter Jackson had to fight to make a reality because the people signing the checks thought "no one would be interested," and anything made expressly for children, particularly by Disney or Pixar, there have been no true A-List fantasy movies for an extremely long time.

One would have hoped a second-rate Hollywood director would have at least had the wherewithal to not turn a production that is solely about a man acquiring magical powers and becoming a cosmic wizard janitor for reality into a pretentious hundred minute long lecture about sufficiently advanced technology, but apparently asking Hollywood to put it's massive erect phallus for Big Bang Theory-tier nerdism away for a single movie is asking entirely too much of it.

You're already laying the groundwork for the Reality Gauntlet you stupid fucks. You can't just pretend that magic isn't real.

I can't wait to watch these shitlords try to explain Doramammu using science.



It's probably going to sound like somebody recruited Agent Mulder to use lines from a Star Trek script to explain why Daniel Jackson isn't technically a supernatural deific being.

"No, see, it's swamp gas reflecting off of particles that are suspended in the fifth dimension of his polarity-reversed electrical field that allow him to float and glow and grant people wishes and go inside dreams."

 

Violence really does solve everything. Huh.

 

There's something about Raine's posts that I can't help but enjoy. However, relevant link is relevant.

300 sequel was a major disappointment, probably because I was expecting too much. The original set up Spartans as the ultimate badasses, but in this one Athenians kind of undercut them. Suddenly Spartans aren't the greatest warriors ever after all, bluecapes could give them a run for their money. Maybe I'm being too hard on Testicles... I meant Themistokles, but I find Leo's combination of his epic slomo scene and his epic beard more appealing. This is Sparta goddammit! I read somewhere that critics praised Eva Green's performance and she's a good actress, but I'll go against the tide here - she delivers her lines in the same way we've seen in Kingdom of Heaven, Casino Royal and Dark Shadows. Call my blasphemy if you wish, but she's kind of like Kristen Stewart in that way. Be an actress and give us some variety.

Just saw I, Frankenstein today... omigod this movie blows. I normally enjoy Bill Nighy, but I can't help but be of the opinion that in this one he just sucks. I don't know, maybe his fantasy antagonist creative juices run out after the third Underworld. Or maybe the terrible script was at fault. The setup takes the whooping 15 minutes and the viewer ends up not giving a fuck about the protagonist at all. The gargoyle queen changes her mind about Adam (by the way, Adam? really? oh for fuck's sake) so fast and for such stupid reasons it gave me a headache. The supporting cast's acting is just bad. Then we have the Gargoyle Order. Demons wear suits and use modern technology while those guys still wear capes and live in middleage standards. Plus, the big bad's base is like a few blocks away and they couldn't find it on their own? Their espionage division must really suck. I'll give that action scenes weren't too bad, although Frank's Sticks of Doom were just stupid. CGI was pretty good, I think, but overall, this film needs to be cast into the fires of Orodruin. Rumor has it they want to taint my beloved Underworld series with a crossover with this piece of utter shit. I pray to the Valar they don't. Selene doesn't deserve this.

 

In that conversation between Thor and Jane in the first Thor movie, I had interpreted it as saying that magic and science were both methods used to study and manipulate the universe. Like magic and technology could do the same things, but take different paths to get there, and like in the Avengers they could be combined (Tony's Arc Reactor absorbing Thor's lightning bolt, the Cube/Tesseract opening a portal when hooked up to that computer thing). I thought that was a cool way of doing it. I did not see it as magic just being super-science, and seeing it confirmed to be like that is a real slap in the face.

Fuck Clarke and his law. There needs to be more magic and less jerking off over science.

 

Clarke's law does not disprove the existance of magic.

 

This, so much. I can't agree more.

 

I'll see your 4 minutes and raise you the first 10 minutes of the movie.

 

While technically this is coming out in 2017, I don't consider starting a new thread for it this early. Without further ado:

Incredibles 2

 

Finally.

Another fucking Cars movie though. Jesus.

 

Oh my God... I may convert to Judaism because of this.

 

I want The Incredible Carplanes.

Also: I always wanted Incredibles 2. My hopes are alive again.

 

... why is Judaism relevant?

 

Saw the second 300 and liked it. The speeches could have been better, but it was an entertaining sequel that satisfied my need for violent manliness. Plus, Artemisia.

 

Incredibles 2 has renewed my faith in humanity. Here's to hoping it doesn't suck.

Also, Finding Dory. Huh.

 

I'm assuming he was praying for an Incredibles 2.

 

I saw Need for Speed today. It's good, I recommend it.

 

Has anybody seen the Peabody and Sherman movie yet?