Fixed that for you

 

Cruise's character is named Cage.

 

My bad

When I see Cage, I always think of Nic Cage

 

Going to see the new HTTYD a bit early today as a double feature with the first one. Super pumped!!

 

Ye basterd.

In other news, have a new Sin City 2 trailer. Don't think it has been posted here yet.

 

Just saw HTTYD2. No one will be disappointed. Go see it.

Like... Now. Go. Stop reading.




GO!

 

Just came back from HTTYD2. It was good. I shed a single manly tear at one point, and fist pumped at others. Go see it.

 

Manly tears are not spoken of!

Spoiler

it was the reunion for me more than the other thing. The look on their faces as he approached her... T_T

 

Sooooo goooood giiiiirl.

 

Dracula Untold.

I like the concept, but as much as I complain about everybody doing dark and gritty movies these days, this one appears to be not dark enough. It will probably be one of these films that are meh at best, but you can tell that there is a lot of untapped potential in them.

 

Looks like generic tripe to me. What I wouldn't give for a good Vlad the Impaler action movie without the overt vampire subplot.

Da Vinci's Demons Dracula needs his own movie pronto.

 

There is and always has been only one Dracula and that's Bela Lugosi.

 

So you're trading us sparkling vampires for misunderstood ones?

Fuck off, Hollywood.

 

Pfffff. Purists.

 

Zombie! Aubrey Plaza. Life After Beth

 

Pffff. Mudbloods.

 

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

Saw it.

Loved it.

 

Agreed, it's fantastic. Even with all the positive reviews it's getting, I didn't expect to like it as much as I did.

 

Since this thread is no longer just about upcoming movies, I've decided to share something with y'all. Last Wednesday, I went to see Transformers: Age of Extinction. I chose it over HTTYD2. I'm sure some angels wept that day.

But let me get to the point. And the point is, this film isn't as bad as I'm sure some people expected.

It's worse. TL;DR: it blows.

Spoilers for all 4 films follow.

Spoiler

Now, allow me to elaborate. The first film had some genuinely cool moments (such as Michael Bay ripping off himself from Bad Boys 2 with the 360-wallhack shot) and, most importantly, it was entertaining (for me, at least). The second one was silly and super-wacky, but it was fun. That's why I remember it fondly to this day.

Third one was the worst of the trilogy. I did draw some enjoyment from it, but it was rather meh, all things considered.

This one though... It should never have been made. Let me tell you, I can suspend my disbelief for some really stupid things if I'm entertained, but even I was going wtf at some moments.

First of all, I don't get the casting of Mark Wahlberg. He's at best an average actor who succeeds as much as he fails on-screen. This wasn't one of his better performances. As far his films go, I much preferred him in Max Payne. Transformers just aren't the same without Shia Labeouf's freakouts. They should have kicked out Wahlberg and let Stanley Tucci and Titus Welliver carry the film.

My name is Optimus Prime. I'm a piece of junk and my guns don't work. Except when I need them to blow up some CIA types, they work fine then. But I'm still a piece of junk and I need my Autobot buddies to repair me. Unless, of course, a pimped out truck happens to pass us by in the middle of a desert. Then I can scan it and I'll be magically repaired by making myself shiny again.

Bumblebee was using the radio to talk again and it's fine. It's his thing. He and Optimus were the only ones left from the old crew (unless you count the Autobot troll-doll), or I wasn't paying enough attention to Dark of the Moon because I didn't recognize the other three. And why do alien robots model themselves after human stereotypes? A dual-wielding sword ninja-samurai and a fat guy with a cigar. Let me repeat, because it bears repeating. An alien robot with a cigar. The green dude with a cloak-skirt made the most sense, which is a shame because I couldn't find it in myself to give a single fuck about him.

After the secrets of a big dam, the Great Pyramid of Giza and Apollo 11 Moon landing, we learn how dinosaurs really went extinct. They were turned into transformium (catchy) by ancient transformers because... if they explained why, I don't remember. And I don't care. If this happened with the use of those Seed bombs, then I'm calling bullshit. Those explosions in the prologue didn't have the yield of tactical nukes. Though I suppose that was millions of years ago--maybe they upgraded in the meantime.

Where did the Jamaican Jailer come from? I don't even want to waste keystrokes on explaining just how weak of a villain he was.

Some Knightly Transformer Order was pulled out of someone's ass and I also don't know what about the Dinobots was supposed to make sense. They came out of nowhere at the end and the giant cock-tease moment from the trailer where Optimus slaps a T-Rex with his shield turned out to be Prime's way of diplomacy apparently, because the next moment he was riding that motherfucker. Dinobots would have made a much more awesome bunch of villains than either the human-created Decepticons or the Jamaican and his generic helper guards.

Oh yes. The Decepticons. So, here's how it goes:

A big corporation headed by Stanley Tucci (imagine a clone of Stark Industries) reverse-engineered Megatron and other transformers and used the metal they're made of to build their own robots. The Top Dog of that bunch is named Galvatron and he was built using the data from Megatron's brain. Unfortunately, Megatron's head wasn't as dead as it seemed and he corrupted Galvatron, becoming Megatron reborn, and all other robot prototypes.

Shit goes down, big battle, heroic stuff. Optimus saves the day.

Now, the three things that pissed me off or had me going WTF the most:

1) Mark Wahlberg's sword-gun. He picked up a random sci-fi robot sword, something happened and it started shooting. They even call it an "alien gun". It doesn't change the fact that it's not a gun. It's a fucking sword that can shoot.

2) At the end, Optimus takes something (the Seed, IIRC, can't be fucked to check) to keep it from bad hoomans and decides to go after his Creators and - read very carefully - flies off into space.

What. The. Fuck.

Every time he could fly in the previous films he was always aided by something else. in movie 1, he grabbed onto Megatron. In 2, he used the Blackbird's parts. In 3, he had his own flying gizmo and also a spaceship for space-travel. Okay, he asteroid-ed his way onto Earth in movie 1, but that's another kind of flight. The point is that three films told us that he couldn't fly on his own, as "barebones" Optimus, yet here he (with no extra parts or buffs that I could see) takes off into space. Fuck that shit.

3) There is a glimpse of Galvatron escaping after the battle, which tells me that, probably depending on the film's performance at the box office, Bay wants to make another one. He should've stopped at the second one. It was entertaining, Sam got his big moments with Destiny and "I love you" to his girl, and some ancient evil transformer got his ass kicked by Optimus. By the way, I'm sure that the Fallen's resemblance to a pharaoh's headwear had nothing to do with the fact that the Big Finale was taking place in Egypt.

Bay was clearly running out of ideas by the third film and yet there I was, hoping for a fun, rollercoaster Michael Bay ride. I was very disappointed.

T:AoE has no coherence beyond the fact that the same characters appeared consistently throughout the film, it's bland and the script was written by a 5-year old. Even so, I could forgive all of the above if only the film was entertaining. This was almost 3 hours of crap.

And the transformium CGI was so 1999.

 

Man all the reasons you've stated are things that I wouldn't even consider when talking about how bad Transformers movies are.