Harry Crow was better.

 

Not as good as Knowledge is Power though.

 

Knowledge is Power is actually good.

 

"Dumbell Dork" et. al. is the pinnacle of good wit. I actively seek these stories out.

Tracey > Daphne

Pup and Cub are cute nicknames for Harry to have.

 

Lord Moldyshorts is my hero.

 

Thanks to this, I just noticed the blue and orange boxes next to a post's date that indicates if it is read or unread.

So as far as I'm concerned, this April Fool's change is a win.

 

You plebs and your pleb taste, My Immortal>All. Only thing it's missing is a trunk within a trunk within a trunk.

 

I read all +700k of the Harem War once. Back then, I thought the world building was incredible and the whole fic was incredibly original. And I read HP & The Fifth Element up until the sex scene where goblins are guarding while Harmony has amazing virgin sex. I still don't know why I kept reading.

As you can't see, inspiration for my fanfic comes from dark places indeed.

 

I'm not trolling when I say Vash was the single greatest writer in this fandom. The Office was a work of art, stunningly written under all the orgies.

 

Snape is pretty okay I guess.

 

Hey DarkLordPoofters,

My name is Starfox5 and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, backwards mouthbreathers who spend every second of their day reading stupid-ass fanfics. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any muggleborn pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities about your blood status, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to your so Noble and Most Ancientest family trees.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the Quidditch team, and starter on my Gobstones team. What sports do you play, other than “learn Dark Magic and suck Voldemort's dick”? I also get straight O’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just showed me her gun and plotted revolution against backwards Magical Britain; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch.

 

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Defense against the dark arts, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Death Eaters, and I have over 300 confirmed learned spells. I am trained in magical cores and I have the biggest core in the entire Auror force. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the world and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you with over seven hundred spells, and that’s just with charms. Not only am I extensively trained in silent spellcasting, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Ministry of Magic and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 

And so Harry withdrew his guitar, Fuckslayer, from a dimension where all screamed for naught.

 

And the groinsaws roared their eldritch approval.

 

What on earth did you just say about me, you nasty little boy? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in beauracratic incompetence, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on undertrained, anti-establishment schoolchildren, and I have over 27 confirmed educational decrees. I am trained in ministerial warfare and I’m the top lackey in the entire Ministry of Magic. You are nothing to me but just another troublemaker. I will make you write lines with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this castle, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that tripe about me in secret defense meetings? Think again, Potter. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies amongst your classmates and their parents, and your every footstep is being traced right now so you better prepare for expulsion, boy. The expulsion that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your future. You’re finished, halfblood. My eyes and ears can be anywhere, anytime, and I can punish you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with the cat crockery I have in my office. Not only am I extensively trained in inquisitorial techniques, but I have access to an entire support network of fellow bootlickers and ladderclimbers, and I will use it to its full extent to put your awful facial disfigurement on the front page of the Daily Prophet with your godfather, you filthy craven. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, perhaps you might have held your tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re going to pay the price, you nasty little liar. You will carve your lines all over your body and I will smile whilst you do it. Now, won't you have a nice cup of tea?

 

The pink really brings it home lmao

 

Can this thread get deleted I didn't realize my name was going to be attached to statements I obviously don't believe and would NEVER actually support. Plz no doxx.

 

Your shame is eternal.