1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Complete VINCET by nos tres reges - T

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Skeletaure, Apr 18, 2009.

  1. Skykes

    Skykes Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 14, 2006
    Messages:
    1,353
    Location:
    Ireland
    Actually I agree 100% about the instant transformation. When I read about something being transfigured I imagine a Sylar shape shifting effect, Harry taking the Polyjuice in CoS if you want to think HP.

    As for objects I picture it as a gradual process, match stick getting longer, sharper, shiner until its a needle, Lupins arms and legs getting thicker and longer until he is in his wolf form... Not some poof of smoke and theres the wolf.
     
  2. KrzaQ

    KrzaQ Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    1,404
    Location:
    Poland
    She can morph her nose into pig's snout. Adding magical properties of Dragon/Giant skin seems improbable, but wings seem pretty logical, she would probably have to keep mass of her body at the same level.
     
  3. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2008
    Messages:
    1,865
    Location:
    The Playhouse
    Well I agree that that's how it should work, but I don't think that's the canon description of the process of transfiguration.

    Polyjuice and werewolf transformations seem like a special case from my recollection.
     
  4. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    833
    Location:
    Iceland
    Solid writing style, good sequences, enjoyable characterisation, keeps the reader's attention, especially during the Halloween part.

    Only negative point I can give is the stupid Dursley abuse. They're evil, they need to be tortured, raped and killed, we get it. At least Harry's doing something about them this time around. Dudley killing Hedwig was not illogical though, and I liked how Harry stole the Wedding Ring.

    4/5 for now, will round up if this continues to impress.

    And Harry only had problems with Summoning in canon because of stress, let's not forget that Rowling needed to capitalise on the spell somehow.
     
  5. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,284
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Zealand
    High Score:
    4,500
    Well, I must say that I am a huge fan of this type of story, and I also highly enjoyed it.

    I really love Smart!Harry going to Hogwarts.

    5/5 from me.

    Dursley abuse was extremely minimalist, and didn't really bother me at all. It happened, but the author doesn't repeatedly shove it in our faces, so yeah.
     
  6. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,789
    Location:
    California
    Fixed that for you...

    I also like the story so far. It has some really good characterization. I'd vote this a 4 right now, well, not officially yet, but I will vote on it when there is more. Although I do like where this is going at the moment.
     
  7. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,129
    Just read this one. It's definitely got a decent flow to the writing. The Dursley abuse is not nearly as bad as you might think when you hear "Dursley abuse."

    By 'not as bad' I don't mean the viciousness of the beatings or killing of Hedwig. I mean we don't have to suffer with emotionally broken, crybaby, weak fucking abuse victim Harry. He's dealing with it and trying to find a way to make it stop. And/or fight back.

    As for the fic... I just don't have it in me to care. We've all read hundreds of canon retreads going through first year with a slightly different spin. Many are simply blah, but some are written exceedingly well. Unfortunately, after dozens and dozens of exceedingly well written first year retreads, it takes more than that to interest me at all.

    And so far, this doesn't have it. Harry's not particularly likable. Everything he does has a motive and often he hides it, making him seem like a callous manipulator.

    I'm sure many if not most are like me and share a near certain belief that this 'series' isn't going anywhere. Maybe the trio of authors will get through first year, start towards second. Who knows. But after forty thousand words and a plan that so far is essentially canon, I see nothing to indicate there's any hope this is any different from every other well-written retread.

    3/5 for writing an average story exceedingly well. I'll give this another look if I hear something daringly original happened, or they make it to fourth year. Otherwise... meh.
     
  8. psihary

    psihary Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    365
    Location:
    ... I've got a polar bear for a neighbour...
    I'm not quite sure what you people saw/read in that one to give it a 5 seriously.

    The story is fine, and written well but nothing beyond that. nonjon summed it up alright ^^ - it's, yet another, good rewrite of first year but it will doubtfully go any further than that.


    A few people I saw writing about Harry choosing Hermione over Daphne... well I dunno how you felt about it but in ch1 after I read that:

    ... I had a big floating "WHAT?!?!?" over me...

    Eleven years old will think to himself how more "erudite than Ron" the person in front of him is... aannnddd will be grateful for not having to talk about football and tits?!
    I believe it wasn't Dudley the reason why he didn't have any friends at school this time around.
    3/5 from me for not even picking up my interest and creating protagonist that is as likable as a Severitus
     
  9. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    833
    Location:
    Iceland
    I personally didn't mind the behaviour displayed here, since it sounds like some pretty decent Evil!Harry foreshadowing. If that's where the authors are going with this, they definitely haven't forgotten the development.
     
  10. h2o

    h2o Professor

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2007
    Messages:
    446
    Having read the story and gone through this thread... I'm inclined to agree with you (Even if Evil!Harry isn't really my thing). I find this Harry rather likable since he's looking out for number one. The story is a bit slow paced but I don't mind, seeing Harry joke around with Cedric (He is a rather nice chap after all) and Katie is refreshing. Even if this turns out to be a H/Hr story I think I'll keep reading. H/Katie or Padma(Or was it Parvati in Slytherin?) would ofc be preferable but... either way. A rather solid 4/5 from me, assuming that the updates won't be as slow as the story.
     
  11. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    1,163
    Location:
    At your mothers house
    I had to force myself to continue reading at a few points in the first chapter, but it really started picking up in 2. Overall, I give this one a 4/5 for now, and hope that the author continues at his/her current level.
     
  12. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,438
    Location:
    Florida
    I actually like the fact that Harry is a bit of an asshole and has no qualms about using people and manipulating them for his own purposes. That's not to say that I would want it to go further than that, as I don't really enjoy Evil!Harry or your cliche DarkButNotEvil!Harry, but I really like his characterization up to this point.

    Usually I don't like stories where Harry is too intelligent and mature for an 11 year old, but for some reason it works pretty well in this one.

    Also, I don't really see what some of you are talking about in regards to Dumbledore. He didn't really come off as malicious to me...in fact he seemed pretty close to canon!DD only he seems worse because Harry actually picks up on his shit and we get to see it from his perspective. It's not really heavy handed at all compared to most indy stories and Evil!DD fics like The Potter Conspiracy. So far all we have is him keeping tabs on Harry and insinuating that he should enjoy himself more and not work so hard. It's not like he gave him an ultimatum or is interfering with Harry in any overt way. Frankly, IMO this is one of the best DD characterizations I've read recently.

    5/5
     
  13. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    2,819
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    My problem with Dumbledore is the opposite to others: not that he seems too malicious, but that he seems too jovial. That scene where he interrupts Harry and Malfoy about to duel made me think of Santa Claus in terms of characterisation. I much prefered our first meeting with him.
     
  14. Captain Trips

    Captain Trips High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2008
    Messages:
    567
    Location:
    Sweden
    I read this story and i liked it.
    it gets 4/5 from me
     
  15. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 28, 2007
    Messages:
    1,325
    Location:
    日本福井県若狭町
    I wish this would update again soon. I actually enjoy it quite a bit.
     
  16. Stenstyren

    Stenstyren Professor

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    465
    Well, i didn´t enjoy this story much at all. The characters are very uninteresting with the exception of Harry. The author fails to you this interesting Harry in a good way though.

    Other then that i can´t really put my finger on the problem. Story just didn´t catch my attention and i don´t think it´s library worthy.
     
  17. Trooper

    Trooper Death Eater

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    970
    Location:
    Bangalore, India
    I enjoyed reading this. Its one of the more promising stories among the whole 7-Years do-over fics. It will be good/recommendation-worthy only when the author atleast crosses the third year mark. As, lets face it, there are too many of this kind of stories floating around ff.net. Some very well written, more so than this one.

    From what has been posted so far, I'd say Harry is a tad bit more mature and manipulative than your average abused eleven year old.<_< But, I find that I can easily overlook that for the whole package.

    3/5 from me. If the author actually updates till atleast 4th year, I'll raise it to 4/5.
     
  18. Johnny Farrar

    Johnny Farrar High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    521
    Location:
    In front of a Computer.
    Capitalize your 'i', and make sure that your sentences make sense.:confused:

    Regarding the fic, I will say that it's very good and I am looking forward to the updates. There are some very nice and original thoughts in this fic, like the description on how the trace actually works.

    Some parts though I think could have been handled better. Dumbledore's manipulations seems to be rather transparent. And Harry seems far too intelligent and mature for his age.

    Other than that it is a well-written piece of fanfic, with no overt spelling or grammatical errors. I will rate 4/5.
    </IMG>
     
  19. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,080
    Location:
    USA
    ...Alright, read the story since it was rated high, and recently I have had time to indulge in fanfiction again, but I really don't see this as a story deserving that rating.

    The writing is decent, not much in flow or mechanics to complain about.

    But what about the content? It's bland. We've seen the same shit done much more originally here dozens of times.

    Even if the authors continue the story it wouldn't hold my interest.

    The only thing I really had fun reading was his initial encounter with Tonks.

    Rating 3/5 for content. It's average at best.
     
  20. Trulle

    Trulle Second Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2008
    Messages:
    66
    Location:
    Germany
    Wow... excellent fic. 5/5 from me, and hungry for more ;-)