Much to short to give a fair rating, it still has too much left to prove.
I can say though that the characteriziation is interesting, though this version of Harry truly does not belong in Gryffindor. Instinctively I'd say Ravenclaw because of his studious ways, but the way he manipulates people in a way far beyond his age proves that he belongs in Slytherin.

House issue out of the way, Harry is too mature and "evolved", an eleven year old do not possess the studious concentration nor perception and scheming that HP does in this fic.

As for a fic redoing years 1-7 it is positively refreshing, and the part about a non amorous HP/NT interaction was delightful, even though I enjoy the coupling in other stories.

NT characterization is quite bad imo, morphing her chest to excessive proportions to catch a guys attention? I always though of her personality a tad like Harrys, despises that people uses him/her for their fame/ability, but still being comfortable with it among friends.

I must admit I first stopped reading the story when Harry was placed in Gryffindor, his behaviour even before the sorting proved my point in the first paragraph, but I put in the time to finish reading the five chapters and it's as I said, quite refreshing and entertaining, even though it could do with some better characterization.

I'll give it a 3/5 because of the above mentioned opinions

 

This is fanon, inspired by the dozens of cliche HP/NT fic's where Harry assures her that her "natural" form is the most beautiful no doubt. I liked this Tonks, she was more original.

 

If anything, canon Tonks loves flaunting her powers as much as she humanly can. I'd love to see a fic where Harry asked to see her natural form and she was insulted.

 

Although I'm a fan of the idea of there being no natural form (or even no natural sex lol) I feel that HBP ruined it somewhat when she lost her ability to transform. The form she was in then sounds like a natural form.

 

Haha, Sesc, you're such a shipper.

 

It's really not a matter of the "emo'ness" off the situation, merely that the interaction becomes so much more interesting and deep when this kind of alteractions occur. I prefer stories with complex situations / relations, and this is my preferable way of doing that with this particular situation.

 

What's deep about having Harry toss around cheesy pick up lines which could only ever work in the overtly simplistic settings imagined by an equally overtly simplistic individual ? No, the only redeeming quality of that plot is that it actually helps by shortening background writing during smut.

 

Terrible pick up lines work great. They're funny, people generally like those who can laugh at themselves/look like a fool, and it's a good way to start a conversation.

Not sure what cheesy pick up lines have to do with the quality of this story though.

 

I'm truly enjoying this story so far. The portrayal of Cedric and his friends was very well-done, and I'd like to see something like this more often in fanfiction.

It's definitely a plus that I can't figure out yet where this story is going. Maybe I overlooked a clue or an author note, but I don't know whether this will be a Dark!Harry, Independent!Harry or whatever. Independent is likely, but I wouldn't bet on it.

The only thing I didn't like was having Harry become a Gryffindor again. There was such a great set-up with the Hufflepuffs, why not put him there?

Hermione's presence doesn't bother me at all, it's interesting to see how Harry manipulates her. Hopefully he'll continue in that vein and not go all 'Awww-You're-My-Soulmate' later on.

It's still a bit early for a rating, but at the moment it's a strong 4/5 with possibilities.

 

My actual review:


An interesting initial couple of chapters. I look forward to more.

The characterisations of Tonks and Cerdric are both novel and original, in my experience. I'm indifferent to the former and enjoying the latter.

Pet peeve: swearing. Harry swearing? Wouldn't be tolerated by the Dursleys, and has no real place in the HP world, frankly. Tonks? A bit over the top, but her swearing is a tad more acceptable.

My only 'real' gripe is this:

I enjoy readng a more intelligent than canon Harry, however this Harry is far, far more intelligent than any public schooled 11 year old would be. I'd say any 11 year old, but that wouldn't be accurate; just earlier today I heard on the news that there is some really young (14 or so, I think) Asian kid who just entered the Uni of Washington. However, given Harry's lifestyle, there's just no believeable way. Additionally, his vocabulary is also too large, he's considerably more mature than he should be, and just in general, his character isn't befitting that of an 11 year old.

That aside, as said, I look forward to more.


At the moment, I'm giving this a 3.5/5. It's promising but it's too early to tell where it's going and whether it will improve. As it is, it's passable, but not great.

 

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that any of the canon characters actually acted their age in the books, until maybe years 5-7.

Granted this Harry is really pushing what is believable, but frankly I'm not sure anyone would want to read a story about eleven-year-olds acting like eleven-year-olds unless the reader himself was eleven.

Canon Harry didn't act like a starved child who'd spent most of his life locked up in a cupboard, but if he did you probably wouldn't have finished Book 1, amiright?

I'll let it go, since a Harry written this way entertains me.

 

True, points taken. But, as said, this Harry most certainly does not act like any 11 year old I'll ever encounter. Or twelve. Or thirteen.

I know it's fiction, and fanfiction for that matter, but I still like to read Tonks acting like a twenty year old, Dumbledore acting like he's been around for awhile, and Harry acting his age. I can easily put it aside and continue reading. Just sayin' that his characterisation has him too old.

The (or just one of the) author/s replied and explained to me their reasoning, and that they also believe Harry's become a tad too smart even for their liking. I'm satisfied with that.

 

It's been updated. I will come back and edit to post my thoughts on the latest chapter.

EDIT: Decent update. The trace is very well-defined in the story, better than anything I have ever seen in any fanfic's. There is some more info on this in the latest update.

Harry also, seems to fairly manipulative, making friends and accquaintances for personal gains.

One thing I noticed about this fic was Harry's willingness to use the Dursley's abuse of him to garner pity. And those who were complaining about Dursley abuse should be happy with the latest chapter. Apparently, it was more exaggeration to garner pity than any reality in his claims. Not that the Dursley's cared for him, they didn't physically abuse him though.

As for the Harry and Dumbledore interaction, I thought this was going to be the evil, manipulative Dumbledore until the last chapter, with this update I am not so sure.

Dumbledore's characterization also seems to be fairly different than the usual evil, manipulative or good Dumbledore types. It's hard to put your finger on exactly what is Dumbledore's motive. I would like so to see where the authors take it.

 

Good update. I like this story even if it is rehashing canon. The HP/DD interaction was very interesting, as well as the generalized magical theory (regarding magical skill) the authors present in the chapter.

I know some will only rate this story a 3 or 3.5 because it is pretty much rehashing canon, but I feel this story definitely deserves at least a 4. The characterization of Harry is one of the reasons why, as well as the writing. I like that Harry is intelligent, cunning, and has a higher than average skill at magic, while still being somewhat believable.

The writing is very good. Easily better than 95% of fics on ff.net. I only spotted two mistakes in this chapter, which were word substitutions. I think in a sentence he mistakenly wrote 'months' instead of 'moments' and 'am' instead of 'are'. Besides that the authors use complex sentences and the use of commas and semicolons were correct. The writing isn't unnecessarily wordy or descriptive, nor is it sparse. It's clear and concise, and it doesn't seem like the authors are trying too hard.

Sometimes when you read a fanfic you can tell that the author is trying to sound sophisticated, or trying to write above his/her level. Not so here.

 

Very good story so far. Harry is a bit OOC but I guess that's the whole point of the story after all.

4/5 for me

Also 'skill' instead of 'skull'

 

Definitely liking the update.

This just isn't getting worse, its nice to see.

 

I thought it would be manipulative!Dumbledore, after this last update I'm not so sure.

 

I'm very happy with the Dumbledore characterisation.

It is manipulative Dumbledore, but canon manipulative Dumledore rather than fanon. That is, manipulative Dumbledore with good justification and no malignant intent or results. An affable manipulative Dumbledore, who's always on top of his game. Everything is part of the plan.

I'd say that Dumbledore's "slip" about spying on people, and the subsequent conversation, is just another play in the game. A more subtle one than so-called manipulative Dumbledore in fanon, who just goes around stealing money.

That's not to say that he doesn't care about the people he's manipulating either. It's just that he works on two levels at once: caring for the individuals and seeing the bigger picture at the same time.