Yeah, I'd definitely suggest making the fourth guy a sniper--a re-read of the latest chapter shows the guy pretty much disappearing after he's mentioned, only showing up as an aside. Not expecting him to have lines if he's the strong silent type, but he's not exactly a cannon-fodder mook, either (probably).

Out of curiosity, is Harry going to have immunity to Loki's magic control the same way he has immunity to Imperius? Seems like he should. Feel free to keep us in suspense if you want to, though.

---------- Post automerged at 04:17 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:07 AM ----------

Know what's kinda funny? I've been catching up on the series to refresh my memory, and someone (aside from assuming ironically that Captain America keeps bubblegum in his utility belt) noted that Nick Fury, between the earlier movies and the Avengers, starts wearing a bulletproof vest and sidearm everywhere--even on his homebase of the Helicarrier. You just gave him a reason to.

 

I'm really enjoying this so far, though I do find your use of hyphens in dialogue to be jarring. They generally take the place of commas around a dependent clause or act as a pause in thought, yet yours just seem to be added for their dramatic effect.

I could replace nearly all of them with a period, comma, colon, or semi-colon and achieve the same. I've read through this work from beginning to end over the last, few hours and that's my only real complaint.

 

I've been replacing them on FFnet - it's a quirk I somehow got used to, I suppose.

<IsWeird

 

I am not really a fan of your Banner. I just watched the Hulk movie again the other day, and while yours has a heartrate of 200 at the drop of a hat, it took Ed Norton being shot at, chased through a village by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, and then getting beaten up by gangsters before he turned green. Yours also talks more, but that's reasonable because otherwise this update would've been boring as fuck.

Despite that, glad that there was an update.

 

This Banner is more like Ruffalo's than Norton's, in my opinion, which makes sense, since this is an Avengers crossover, not an Incredible Hulk crossover.

Also, this Banner hasn't been working on breathing techniques to control his heart rate for half as long as the Banner in The Incredible Hulk, who had been in Brazil and training in self-control for at least half a year longer. It makes sense that this Banner lose himself to the Hulk a lot quicker.

 

It's like we've been talking about this.

 

One thing in the latest update struck me as a bit off. Harry knows, he even mentions, how utterly dependent he is on his wand to do most things, but was still prepared to surrender with only the "hope" that they wouldn't find it. As he was an Auror, surely he would know that in such circumstances you would frisk captives immediately.

Something that struck me as somewhat of a wasted opportunity was not having Harry saying something about how submitti to hostage takers demands wasn't a good precedent, simply because it would annoy SHIELD to be considered in that light.

 

Roarian mentioned in his author's notes on FFN that Harry brought along a spare wand or two. I'd imagine he brought a handful and stashed a few away somewhere so he could re-arm if things go south and he loses his stuff or breaks his main wands. Seems an Auror-ish thing to do.

 

I'd figure that if you have no guarantee of having wands, that is just a sensible precaution - I'd think he'd pick up a few that were pretty close to his usual wand and keep the Elder Wand aside, just in case, rather than using it as his main one.

In any case, the criticism that Harry would probably have a better way to hide it than just hoping the Muggles wouldn't find it is opbvious: Muggle Repelling Charms. They won't even notice it's there.

 

This fic is good. I like the story so far, and this harry is cool. I want to see everyone reactions when Harry explain his note was literal message and not a threat or he trying embush fury.
I think i will need some popcorn in the next chapter. And coke.

 

I'm not sure I dig this scene. The confrontation starts with SHIELD opening fire without prior notice:

Harry has no apparent way of determining the nature of the projectiles, and thus the only sensible thing to do is to assume lethal intent. Furthermore, from Harry's point of view there is no way that theft and infiltration outweigh SHIELD's transgressions against him: they bloody well invaded his body with machines! Moreover, Fury (with Harry's knowledge) gives the following order:

In the light of all this I feel that Harry is much too restrained versus the SHIELD agents.

I'm sorry? Harry is wondering about begin unfriendly after being shot at without warning?! Why doesn't he act as if he has just escaped assassination (which it could have been, for all intents and purposes)? And instead Harry is seriously going to give himself up and meet with SHIELD on their terms because they're threatening an innocent? Why would he trust an organisation that tries to blackmail him by threatening innocents?

I get the feeling that Harry is acting as if he has inside knowledge of the Marvel Comic Universe. Personally, I don't know anything about the comics/movies and SHIELD in particular apart from your story. From the story so far I wouldn't be able to state with certainty whether they are the good guys or not. From the comments in this thread I surmise that they are the protagonists, but Harry does not know that. Why is he acting so positive towards them?

 

I can understand that Harry tolerates the tagging and following and investigating and whatnot. The violation of his bodily integrity is much more serious already, but I can just about concede that he might not retaliate against subordinates that are "just doing their job". Mind you, many people probably wouldn't be as mild-mannered in his position. Note that Harry shows signs that he is starting to get bothered by SHIELD, which is the main reason he seeks out Banner in the first place:

It is commendable that Harry exercises restraint. After all, with great power comes great responsibility. Nevertheless, any man has his limits, and in my opinion being shot at should cross the line here.

 

I have edited the fic a bit since the version that's up here so I think some of these issues are less relevant in the version that's presently up on FFnet.

I appreciate the comments, though.

 

It's not just a matter of nobility. Harry's massive advantage is preventing him from taking the threat fully seriously, and as a result he's underestimating SHIELD. It's a good way to introduce conflict, I feel, because it makes sense that Harry would have something of a paternal, "look at the Muggles and their cute guns" approach, after having been part of wizarding society for so long.

 

Hasn't he already seen one of the Shield Agents shake off a Muggle Repelling Charm, or am I misremembering?

In any case, I have to echo the earlier concern about Harry being far too easy going about an apparent assassination attempt followed by holding some poor innocent guy hostage. Sure, he may be a wizard, but their other victim isn't.

To compound this, they then broke the terms of his surrender and shot the hostage with something anyway, which, from his perspective, immediately caused their victim to start transforming into a Dark Creature. How does he know what their intention was?

They're not looking anything like the good guys here, and when we're talking about someone with a history of inflicting potentially mind-destroying torture on people for the crime of disrespecting a favoured teacher, that should be a very bad place to be.

Would Harry have protected a Dark Wizard if their own victim turned on them as a result of their own interference? Somehow I doubt it. If you want Harry to do much more then watch HULK SMASH! them into paste and shake his head, I think SHIELD need to come across as more sympathetic. Now they've apparently crossed the threshold to apparently causing magical effects, he should be much less likely to place them in the 'helpless muggle' category.

 

I'm not sure if anyone pointed this out or not and I don't feel like rereading all of the posts between the chapter in question and now. This just occurred to me though.

This doesn't make any sense. Furry knows that note somehow got placed on his person, and later, he come to the conclusion that it was Harry on the helicarrier. Well, if Harry was the one on the carrier and he could get that in his pocket without him noticing it....what would stop Harry from killing him right then? Or grabbing him and transporting the both of them. Clearly Harry can teleport with his clothes, drones, etc.

 

One time so far, and that one worked.

I acknowledge this and the earlier point and though it's somewhat ameliorated by the fact that they're not actually out to kill him and Harry knows that. I'll think about how to go about making the scene work better.

Man, I wanted to forgot that even happened.

Granted, though I think even Harry would make the connection between Banner's notoriety and his change, along with his earlier remarks. I don't think Harry is quite dopy enough to believe that the tranq dart really did that. >o>

 

That was Barton. Though I think that part of it might have had something to do with the fact that he knew what he was looking for. It wasn't like Harry cast a notice me not charm and he saw through that. Though I still question it because as far as I know Barton has no actual super powers. I'm not a huge Hawkeye fan, but I thought he was just supposed to be a normal human....

 

It was due to a distance, after all as soon as Harry apparated close Barton didn't noticed him.

P.S. Can't believe this, but for the first time I'm asking an author - how is a progress on the next chapter?