Title: Warrior's Heir
Author: Osireia
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
DLP Category: AU
Pairing: none so far, there probably won't be any
Status: WIP, 121k and 14 chapters so far

Summary: Semi Powerful!Harry. Harry is thrown into a world where purebloods are discriminated against, Tom Riddle is the Boy Who Lived, and he is the Dark Lord. Will his emerging abilities be enough? Should he support Riddle - or himself? No slash.

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4343191/1/Warriors_Heir


This story starts out semi-strong and quickly gets better. You can see how insecure the author was when he/she wrote the first chapter - cliché expressions and a strange nickname for Vernon. There is the occasional spelling error but overall grammar and writing style are good.

The idea itself was new to me. An alternate universe where the roles are changed like that - I haven't read it before.

A solid 4/5 from me, I enjoyed this story.

 

It's well written stylistically, but there are lots of things I don't like about it in terms of content.

The starting point of the fic feels unlikely. His arrangement with Vernon is stupid. The author needs to do some serious fact checking. Come on, £400 for a pack of contact lenses? Harry's skills are unexplained. There are a few cliches, though I'm not too fussed about them.

Most cripplingly, I simply dislike the premise of the story. It holds no interest for me, and the AU is a source of frustration. I think I'm a bit tired of Harry finding himself in an AU and not knowing what's going on.

3/5

 

I can't make this one out. Dumbledore's dead so Harry's seventeen and yet he can't apparate? And if he's seventeen then why's he living with the Dursleys? If he were with the Dursleys for that short month between Dumbledore's death and his seventeenth birthday, then isn't it ridiculous for him to be out participating in illegal dueling? And then there was this -

Didn't read past that, so it'd be unfair to give a rating.

 

At the star everyone in the leaky cauldron is looking at Harry with terror in their eyes without him saying a word because he resembles his dark lord self so much. Then in school he doesn't change his appearance yet nobody makes the connection?

The premise and a few details are pretty cool, but it's done very sloppily.

This doesn't make any damn sense. Harry's been interacting with Riddle for a while now. why the fuck would he be surprised that there isn't a Voldemort in this world?

 

The fic has some confusing mistakes, and Harry is too naive for my taste. Still it is very original and a thought out AU. With a little bit of work it could be a solid 4/5 maybe even 5/5, right now I have to give it a 3.5/5 just for the storyline and regular updates.


EDIT: Only a 3 for me. Harry is a little pussy and it's pissing me off.

 

It was a good story, nothing great.

It was confusing at times and I agree with Taure, the deal with Vernon was stupid.

Still it was a good read compared with the bunch of crap out there.

I give it 3/5 beacause of the original AU and acceptable writting style.

 

4/5
I am loving this fic.
I am just a sucker for AU fics, and this one is a pretty god one with good updates and long chapters. The only thing is that he just messed up the timeline so badly. By that I meant people from Slytherin are from Tom`s generation, and people from Gryffindor are all from Harry`s kids generation.
But if you ignore that, it is pretty good. Hard to find many fics, where the dark lord is actually sane, and has a somewhat sensible reasoning for his doings.

 

Did we read the same story? The messing around with the timeline is the whole premise without which the setting would hardly be possible.

The fic itself is decent. Like Taure the general idea does nothing for me and almost prevented me from reading it. However, it is in its own way refreshingly original and while certain aforementioned cliches and fuck-ups certainly leave a bad taste in my mouth, it is a better read than most of the stuff that is out there right now and still being updated. I think the story belongs in the recycling bin - a higher rating would be as undeserved as a lower one.

So overall 3/5.

 

Yes, we are reading the same story.
I can see that obviously the timeline needed to be shifted around for this story to work, but I just wanted to point out how strange it is that one house is entirely from one generation, and the other house is from another generation. A few chars moved around, I can understand, but so many characters moved around doesent make much sense. Especially Snape. Though I am guessing since the author has mentioned him, but not actually shown him, he has a plan for him.

 

Built almost entirely on cliches, yet a good read nonetheless. The writing style is somewhat lacking and then there is the occasional typo/grammatical error - but I was willing to overlook this particular short-coming as I found the entire AU plot to be quite engaging in its own right. The timeline, if you could call it that, was messed up in epic proportions. I had to read the A/N's to clear up a few things; and that alone is never a good thing. Authors shouldn't need to rely on A/N's to get a message through to the readers - that's what the story's supposed to do.

Not sure about the AU being original, though. The 'switching roles' concept bears a striking resemblance to the one in Jono's "Stranger in the Promised Land". The Harry/Hadrian interaction kept giving me a strong "Prince of the Dark Kingdom" vibe. The aforementioned 'interaction' is yet another premise I found severely lacking. I feel the author could have done a much better job at making the whole 'meeting the counterpart' experience seem surreal/bizarre/unnerving. And it is exactly this that sets her apart from the top-notch writers.

Overall, 3/5. Definitely Recycle Bin worthy. Might even make it to the library.

 

I'd join with the rest in not liking it in "terms of content".

It isn't half-bad story. I can even go as far as calling it quite enjoyable to read but that's mostly it. I needed to read first all of the reviews here to make it pass the second chapter. The ridiculous mentioning of "underground fight clubs" and someone with Harry's mentality to fight in one of them was just that - absolutely laughable.
Once you get over the beginning comes the ever forgiving Dumbledore who is ready to jump into giving the benefit of the doubt to Anyone...

I admit, the story is somehow engaging, I read it after all, but the naiveté Harry displays once he was 'captured' by the death eaters is a major no no. The same ol' "revolution for the greater good justifies the means" which Hermione(a mother!!!) uses to practically explain that her own son could kill and torture with her permission - the author could have done better than that! Unless of course he/she wanted to pain the exact same image of this world's death eaters as they are from the... "original"... and not the "good guys" in the story...

Just because it kept me entertained I'd give it a 4/5 but it'd really depends where it goes from here.

 

Writing style is not good, there are grammatical errors and it is rather confusing at times. Harry is too naive and acts like an idiot. The story failed to hold my attention. The concept is not bad but the execution leaves much to be desired.

I will give it 2/5.

 

I liked this story a lot, but it took some effort to look past the huge plot holes that come with the idea. I may just be ignorant, but it didn't have any more cliches then one could expect from an Alternate story. 3/5 from me, 4/5 if some of the plot holes were filled in.

 

It was something of a surprise to me. A world where Harry is evil and Tom Riddle is the hero wasn't something that has ever been done before. Harry is powerful but not to the point that it's unbelievable. And I've got to say that Hadrian is awesome, if he was real I would surely be his follower. Though a bit disappointed that the story's probably dead.