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What are your five "non-negotiables"?

Discussion in 'Flash and Spam Games' started by Taure, Jul 30, 2016.

  1. MoltenCheese

    MoltenCheese Seventh Year

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    In order of importance:

    1. Female.

    2. Willing to confront me, especially when I'm clearly in the wrong.

    3. Understanding, or at the very least respecting, cultural diversity.

    4. Not militant.

    5. If Korean, feminist to a degree.


    Intelligence, attractiveness, ambition, empathy, humor, and a career-oriented mindset are greatly preferred, but not essential.
     
  2. Deftex

    Deftex Third Year

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    In no particular order:

    1. Female

    2. Non smoking (Marijuana/cigarettes/vaping/etc.)

    3. Must must MUST be into geeky and nerdy shit. Most things in my life revolve around that including my intended career path - It just wouldn't work otherwise.

    4. Physically/Mentally healthy. (Not obese/depressed or suicidal)

    5. Willing to accept the fact that I intend to spend the entirety of my adult life as a grown-ass manchild.

    Political views don't typically matter to me as long as they're not so far off there's constant argument. Discussions are fine and encouraged, but arguments are an Oh No-No.
     
  3. Epuslso

    Epuslso Muggle

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    well my five reqs are:
    1. Must be able to fence/spar
    2. Must have a decent taste in music (rock'n'roll baby)
    3. Know what bullshit that spews from my mouth is really bullshit and what isn't (very important)
    4. Have the female sex organs.
    5. NEVER had male sex organs.

    I would prefer a woman who wants kids...but there are other methods of having (my own biological) kids.
     
  4. Legend3381

    Legend3381 Seventh Year

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    1. Well Educated
    2. Physically/Mentally fit
    3. Thinks Rationally (not prone to overrating, emotional dramatics, irrational jealously)
    4. Have a job that pays more than 40k and is career minded.
    5. Accepting of different cultures and people
     
  5. Silirt

    Silirt Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    It's not just the trees any longer, soldiers.
     
  6. Sorrows

    Sorrows Queen of the Flamingos Moderator DLP Gold Supporter

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    It's interesting what specifics people want. Spending a great deal of time witnessing the worst moments of shitty relationships has refined my list somewhat.

    Dealbreakers/non negotiable

    1) Any current drug use/serious criminal record.

    2) Any sign of controlling, coercive or abusive behaviour.

    3) Irresponsibility with money/lots of debt without really good cause.

    4) Have life goals and be working towards them.

    5) Be kind.

    In truth people have a hell of a lot more than 5 things they are not willing to compromise on. Then they often find for the right (or as it sometimes turns out wrong) person they are willing to bend on far more that they thought.
     
  7. Blorcyn

    Blorcyn Minister of Magic DLP Supporter DLP Silver Supporter

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    Oh, this is easy.

    1) Grey eyes.

    2) Permed silver hair

    3) Someone who can be described as well travelled.

    4) Triple-locked source of income.

    5) Good relationship with their grand-kids.
     
  8. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

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    1. As smart as possible without compromising on the other stuff

    2. Wants to have several children


    3. No history of sketchy behavior like drug abuse, lots of "oh yeah i don't talk to her because she betrayed me" type drama that indicates bad friendships or bad family relationships, etc.

    4. I need to be physically attracted to her

    5. Ambitious, though it doesn't have to be job-focused. More about caring about self-improvement, wanting to learn new things, not being complacent, etc. Can manifest in many ways.
     
  9. Othalan

    Othalan Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    1) Kindness. My mother was a vicious, vindictive psycho that loved causing drama and did her best to make my childhood miserable, so anyone I get with needs to be pretty much the exact opposite of her, personality-wise.

    2) I need to be physically attracted to her, but that doesn't have to be immediate. I've known plenty of women that I considered plain or even ugly at first glance, but that had such great personalities that I wound up developing an attraction to them anyway after getting to know them.

    3) She cannot be a ranting ideologue. Especially not of the "everything you say or do is wrong or oppressive or controlling because you're male and/or white", or of the "Bow down before Trump, our One True Savior!" varieties. I absolutely will not deal with that shit. Barring those particular brands of political extremism, I'm pretty flexible on the politics of my partner. I don't need to agree with her on everything, and having differences that you can talk about (without screaming) can be fun.

    4) I would definitely prefer a reader, and someone who gets at least half of my pop-culture references (no joke, stopping to explain everything I reference is just exhausting). Also, being with someone who can throw some nerd-references right back at me is awesome, in my experience.

    5) As a guy, it feels a bit embarrassing to admit this, but she absolutely HAS to like cuddling. Seriously, I'm like a serial cuddler, and it's no fun if my partner isn't into it.
     
  10. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    This thread reminds me of Wayne Lineker.

    Eh98XtvXkAAN-kV-1.jpeg

    It goes on but that's the gist.
     
  11. H_A_Greene

    H_A_Greene High Inquisitor –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    1. Open to communication.
    2. Patient.
    3. Moderately attractive.
    4. Non-obese.
    5. Politically compatible.
     
  12. awinarock

    awinarock Totally Sirius

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    1. Honest - I don't mind a little white lie here and there but I can't compromise when it comes to the big stuff.
    2. Patient - I am a fucking moron and dense to boot so patience is very important.
    3. Kind/Compassionate - It's hard to be attracted to someone who lacks basic empathy, no matter how physically attractive they are.
    4. Confident - Whether it's a man or a woman, confidence is attractive and nothing is more attractive to me than a confident woman. Of course, that confidence should be tempered by humility before it ventures into the realm of arrogance but still, it's better than dealing with someone who needs to be reassured and validated all the time.
    5. Physically Attractive - They don't need to be a supermodel but I'd like to be attracted to them to some degree on a physical level.
     
  13. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Wow, 2016 Taure had some odd ideas. Updated:

    1. Physically active and not overweight.

    2. Middle class.

    3. Doesn't want kids.

    4. Thinks couples should maintain a certain level of independence (especially financially).

    5. A good match in temperament (not brash, impatient, unpredictable, overly direct or confrontational).

    Kids one could be flexible - the rule is basically "no kids where it would involve a compromise in lifestyle". So if you were rich enough, for example, that would go away as a problem.
     
  14. EkulTeabag

    EkulTeabag Seventh Year

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    I was going to write a list, but then I thought about it and came to a conclusion. If I fall in love with somebody, then I don't think I'd really care if they smoke or cheated on a partner in a previous relationship. I'd love them in spite of their flaws. Hell, maybe their flaws will make the good things seem even better by comparison.

    Basically, I'm not gonna refute my own feelings for somebody because they vote differently than I do. Besides, I'm hardly the perfect partner myself, so having any kind of high standard or "non-negotiable" is rather hypocritical of me. If I love them and they love me, then we'd just work it out. Compromise and all that.
     
  15. Alindrome

    Alindrome A bigger, darker mark Moderator DLP Supporter

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    1. >> ~ Emotionally stable ~ <<
    2. Geeky
    3. Funny
    4. Cat lover
    5. Nice arse ✓
     
  16. Selethe

    Selethe normalphobe

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    1. Conventionally considered to be a good catch. I want my friends to be jealous I have you.
    2. You know the guy that's the life of every party? Not that guy.
    3. Cool-tempered
    4. Able to understand conversational subtext
    5. Nice to me
     
  17. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Huh, Ched hasn't changed that much? But I guess I could do a better job with my response.
    1. Excellent at communication
    2. Decent physical shape
    3. Compatible with my religion
    4. Not opposed to kids
    5. ...? Not clingy, maybe?
    Note that "compatible" doesn't mean agree with. Attractive male with dark red hair and a well-trimmed beard preferred.

    Honestly I feel that #1 (excellent at communication) is almost a cheat. That leads into a lot of other important shit dealing with trust, handling arguments, whether you are emotionally stable or not, etc. If you can communicate well then that shit gets taken care of before it becomes a gigantic issue or you figure out early it won't work.
     
  18. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    @Taure

    2016: kids

    2021: no kids

    What made you change your mind, out of curiosity?

    Then the bit about "if you're rich enough, kids are whatever" presumably you sire kids but ignore them, send them off to a boarding school as soon as possible etc? Then why have children at all if you don't want to be a parent?
     
  19. zugrian

    zugrian Second Year

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    1. Doesn't smoke.
    2. Nice to me
    3. Attractive
    4. Wants kids
    5. Financially responsible (no mountains of credit card or student loan debt)
     
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