Title: What is in a Soul
Author: KySinne
Rating: T
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Harry’s world is turned upside down as everything he knows is torn away from him. Golems, Time travel, Soul magic.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5886123/1/What_is_in_a_Soul

I read this fic recently and I find it relativly good and well written, so I thought I should recommend it to the people of this site.

 

Relatively better from this kind fics but still has some cliscês like how fast he learns mind arts and golem Idea is used before but writing good enough so I give 4/5 for now but it could go to both way.

 

It's a pretty decent story actually. It's kind of like "The Substitute", but a slightly different plotline. Right now, I'd rate it a 3.5/5. He needs a beta.

 

It starts off as a pretty big rip off the substitute, then goes downhill from there.

It contains so many cliches that are poorly done its not funny. Some of them include:

Dumbledore wanting to kill Harry for the greater good.
Time travel.
Ginny dosing Harry with a love potion.
Shopping Spree.
etc.

In saying all that, one positive thing to note was his view on rituals and the requirements/materials needed to work. Actually having to kill people and descerating young children's bodies is not often required by fanfic authors, but in this story it is. Actually makes you see why they are dark rituals. Although I'm pretty sure I read nearly the exact same theory in another fanfic somewhere, which wouldn't surprise me considering everything else in the story.


Overall it's just a rip off a bunch of other stories with nothing to make it it's own yet, but you can actually read it so I'll give it a 2/5.


On a side note there were mentions about Aes Sedai, I don't know if he means WoT Aes Sedai or if that name actually means something. Going to look it up now

 

Actually I don't agree with the list of cliches you gave. I had the feeling that while Harry does feel betrayed, he isn't as much as he thinks he is. At the end of chapter 5 you get to see how other people think of him, and Dumbledore seems truly pained by the prospect of killing Harry. Also I get the feeling that it was Romilda who dosed him and Ginny came accidental at the wrong moment rather then knowingly. The shopping spree was needed, but he didn't do a lot of it himself and a whole bunch of stuff wasn't bought but wished for.

The story has a lot of flaws though. I don't get the theory of the RoR in this fic. So if a person wishes for a room and another person is already in there the new person gets a new room? How did Umbridge in 5th year get in then? Sure she was looking for DA, but did she actually wish it to the room, or did she just see the door and open it? I don't really remember.

Also the room started to become a automatic solution for all problems and made everything a little too easy, so I was happy when he finally got out of there.

Outside that I'm not sure I should rate this yet, as he still needs to build up his new life, and the whole Lycantropy thing has only just appeared, though I got what was going to happen when he read the Dementor text and he didn't look closer to check if that boy who died next to a werewolf and for some reason, didn't go to Hogwarts was a werewolf, stupid much?.

My bigest concern is that it'll blow out of proportions, dementor cure, soul mages, another world? It would need alot of thought behind it to get done right.

The story can go a lot of ways, but if I had to rate now I'd give it a 3/5 for showing some promise, but having problems.

 

I hope what you are saying is true and his just setting it up like this to whip us down later, but I sincerely doubt it. The Dumbledore isn't a classic wanting to kill Harry, I overexaggerated for effect. It's just a greater good one, Harry needs to die etc. As for the love potion though, it's possible, but here is no reason for Vane to be saying that stuff when she doesn't even know Harry is there.

As the saying goes if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, chances are it's a duck. Let's hope im wrong.

 

I liked it. I'm interested in seeing what's become of Wolf!Harry.

4/5

 

Yeah, but the problem with clichés is usually that they're overexaggerated in the first place. So you're misrepresenting his/her portrayal of Dumbledore; it's not the same as what you said. It's not even really a normal "Greater Good" Dumbledore. He seems really conflicted and unsure of what to do.

Regarding the love potion, it's definitely Romilda who slipped him the potion. This is the specific section where she admits to it:

Anyways, this is probably a story I would have rated 5/5 several years ago. As it is, like Yume Deli said, the RoR was an almost too convenient plot device and I don't know what to think about some of the foreshadowing. It's almost certain now that he'll go to another world and become uber-powerful, come back and own everyone in Britain. I really don't want that to happen in the way that I've described. I'll warn the author of that in the review I leave. Hopefully they'll avoid suckage.

There's one thing I'm glad about, though: I expected the author to ignore that Harry could have saved the boy, but it was handled in an appropriate manner.

I don't want to rate based on how badly this story could turn out if it became really shitty, so I'll be cautiously optimistic and give a 4/5 for now (with the caveat that I'll downgrade it as soon as there's even a hint of fail). Not spectacular, but I think it has some original enough elements to qualify as good.

 

You're an idiot.

I liked the story, though it isn't great. All the criticisms, bar Fardeki's, are correct, but it still holds my interest.

I'm going to wait until the next update before I rate, but I think this looks like it will become a pretty solid 4/5.

 

Good recommendation. This story has potential to be in the library but I'll hold off from rating it until later.

 

Pretty slow and a lot cliché but it's at least recycling bin worthy.
3/5

 

The wolf thing is interesting because earlier in the fic lycanthropy was specifically defined as a soul disease, whereas Harry *shouldnt* have gotten anything but the body. However, the faint memories of the child cast doubt on this, not to mention the sketchyness factor of performing what amounts to magical surgery on yourself without consulting anyone with experience.

Also, I'm pretty sure Potterverse werewolves can't just randomly transform when it isn't the full moon. If it wasn't the full moon that night (may have been mentioned earlier, dunno) then Harry has weird!Lycanthropy.

Anyways its an interesting enough fic, and manages to be grabbing despite some flaws already mentioned. 4/5

 

One idea that caught me about this fic is that Harry isn't human.

But what the author hasn't touched on is the question of whether that makes him less than a human or more than a human.

I mean here we have a creature that is quite literally born of magic and a fusion of souls. I would like to see a golem!Harry that accepts this as a positive attribute and not a negative one. And while I don't want this to spiral into an uber!Harry fic, I'd like to see this idea of Harry as possibly a greater-than-human being explored, without the usual super!creature!Harry nonsense involved.

 

Overall I found it meh. The beginning was interesting, but the development after chapter one seemed to slow and went nowhere.

2/5

 

Magical oaths for convenient lie detectors always make me annoyed. The generic knee-jerk Dumbledore reaction in your typical indy!Harry fics and the ridiculously convenient Room of Requirements don't help either. Neither does the cliche 'mindscape' occlumency.

The writing is a slight chore to read, with noticeable errors. Too much telling and summary.

The various theories are a bit too convoluted and wild for me to like.

Howdy's idea would be pretty darn neat, though.

I do think that the fic idea has potential. The author just failed to really deliver a truly enjoyable text. A 'golem' who'd abandon his imagined humanity and become a totally ruthless and self-serving being would be more intertesting to read about, in my opinion.

...Which could have kind of happened at the end of the latest chapter. Wtf? I don't count on it, though.

Anyways, this fic is teetering beetween 2 and 3 out of 5. I gave it 3/5 for rating purposes.

 

An interesting story so far with a curious idea, but sadly ruined by the fact that he tries to *cling* on to humanity. Inside him lies a fusion of shredded souls, one of them being the soul of a supposed dark lord, yet he himself is still trying to be human.

Having the soul of someone who wanted to eradicate his own humanity and being a golem, would most certainly make Harry want the exact opposite. I guess I am too picky, but I like when the stories follow a logical viewpoint. I'll hold back on rating as the story is still getting into gear and could change for the better in later chapters.

 

I've just read chapter two, and I'm kind of put off.

I know that he is very emotional and feeling very betrayed, but the way that he decides that he wants to live and that he will have to somehow imprison Voldemort so he can live... it's very out of character.

He finds out that the only way for Voldemort to die is for him to die also... canon Harry would be upset yes, but I think that he would make that sacrifice. He does make that sacrifice in canon, obviously.

Though I guess I have to take into consideration that he just found out that he isn't really Harry Potter, and just a sort of copy of him....

The first chapter was very good, but I feel it took a downturn from then on.

Overall good writing, I guess.

 

I read the first three-four chapters and am unwilling to continue. The entire idea seems to have been lifted from Bajab's story, who definitely did a much better job at the execution and plot of the story than this guy.

The cliches are innumerable and they bore me from reading any further. I can bear with cliches if they are used inventively and creatively utilised, which is not the case here. The flow and continuity of the writing is also very jarring.

Overall, I would not rate the story as I haven't read it in its entirety, but if forced to give an opinion, I'd say this is not even recycling bin material let alone library.