What is right by Emma Lipardi - T

Marie M · Aug 28, 2007

Title: What is right
Author: Emma Lipardi
Rating: T
Genre: Time Travel
DLP Category: Time Travel
Pairing: None
Status: WIP
Summary: Harry finds himself making a decision to give it all up just to change what has happened. What he doesn't realize is that he gets a second chance to set it right.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2777448/1/What_is_Right

Andro · Aug 28, 2007

I think the category should be Time Travel.

Skeletaure · Aug 28, 2007

If I remember correctly, this starts off okay but degenerates into angst before too long.

3/5

Palver · Aug 28, 2007

This is the most horrible angst-feast. Instead of Harry looking into the future, he becomes angsty little social outcast and comforted by Malfoy, Snape, magical creatures... He is crying, shaking, flinching, curling, sobbing, shivering... Stupid little shit. Where is AK and Deuce?
1/5

Malfoy entered Harry’s rooms and stopped just inside the bedroom door to see his wife perched on the edge of the bed. She smiled at him and then turned her attention back to the boy. One hand was petting his hair. He noticed a brown furry object lodged under the boy’s arm. “Nari? What’s that?” Lucius asked.

“A teddy bear.” She admitted. “I made him one when he started to grow restless.” She said as she turned her attention back to Harry’s hair.
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“Yes, I know.” Snape said with a sigh. “It is disconcerting. I see James Potter when I think of him, but when I work with him, I notice something…off.” Snape paused. “Something is not quite right with him.”

“He flinches whenever I approach him. He shakes if I touch him.” Mr. Malfoy admitted. “He had the same reaction with Narcissa, though she says it is decreasing the more contact she has with him. She put him back to bed after his nightmare last night.”

“He allowed her to touch him?” Snape asked in surprise. Potter had reacted violently to Madame Pomfrey’s touch when she tried to put him back to bed.

“‘Touch him’?” Malfoy snorted. “The boy fell asleep in her arms.” Malfoy said as he refilled their drinks, laughing just the slightest bit.

“Do you think that it’s just men?” Severus asked. “Perhaps his uncle…”

Malfoy shook his head. “We do not have enough evidence. We cannot make any accusations yet.”

“What we do have, though…”

“It’s disturbing, Severus. He’s a child. I’ve done some terrible, wonderful things. I admit that without a qualm. Most of them, I can even say I enjoyed, but to do that to one of our children…it makes me feel homicidal again.”

Snape blinked at the speech. “I find it interesting to hear something like that about the ‘Boy Who Lived’.” Snape commented.

“’Boy’ is the key word, Severus. Why would Harry Potter have anything to do with the Dark Lord’s fall? His parents, however, I do hold responsible.” Malfoy explained.

“You fault the parents?” Snape asked, slightly surprised. Most of the wizarding world seemed content to blame or commend the boy, not the parents. The fact that Lucius Malfoy thought differently from everyone else was slightly alarming.

“There had to be something they did to protect their child.” Malfoy answered. “The Dark Lord may have become a little wand happy and tried to violate the ritual or what have you.” Lucius shrugged. He didn’t know what had happened that night.

“And if the situation had been reversed?” Snape asked. “If it had been Dumbledore after you and your family?” Snape tried to put it into the proper perspective.

“I would have done the same thing to protect the people I love and hold dear.” Malfoy admitted. “Anyone who does what they did out of love should be respected…but I still hold them responsible, not the boy.”

“Master Malfoy!” Dobby popped into the room. “It’s Master Harry Potter again! He is crying and screaming and…” Malfoy didn’t give his elf time to finish.

He leapt from his chair and started for the hallway, motioning for Snape to join him. “We sent the boys to rest earlier, so they could be up tonight for the ball.” Malfoy explained to Snape. “It must be a nightmare.” He opened the door to Harry’s room and rushed in to stop at the sight of Harry thrashing on the bed.

“Mr. Potter.” Malfoy said as he leaned over the bed. “Wake up, Mr. Potter.” He reached down to shake the boy awake. Snape watched in shock as the boy lashed out, knocking the hand from his shoulder and rolling away from Lucius. “Mr. Potter, you were having another nightmare.” Malfoy said calmly, waiting for the boy to regain full coherency.

“They’re dead.” Harry whispered to himself, still able to see the bodies of Fred and George Weasley in front of his eyes. “He killed them.” Harry shook and fought to get a hold of himself. Voldemort would say something and Harry would have to respond. He had no choice. “I-I tried.” He told himself, trying to prepare for trading insults with the Dark Lord. “I tried.”

Snape watched the boy close himself off from his terror, but grimaced when he saw the mental pain translate into a physical manifestation of shaking and tears. He would guess this was an attack of some kind if he didn’t know better. Snape dimly registered his friend sending the house elf for Narcissa. Lucius tried to get closer to the boy several times, only to find that Harry would inch away from him. Lucius stopped his attempts at comforting Harry and gestured for Snape to try.

Snape slowly walked over to the boy and knelt down, keeping his hands in view. “Potter.” The boy jerked at his name, but turned his empty gaze towards his professor. Snape sent out a gentle mental touch and found the boy’s shields were completely down. He probed a little deeper and saw two people on a stone floor with a vague sense of being restrained. He felt a tentative push to his mind and withdrew. There was no need for the boy to know his mind had been invaded. “Potter?”

Harry heard a familiar voice saying his name. He started to come back to himself and saw Professor Snape. It was a subtle reminder that he needed to raise his mental shields. Harry built up the shields gradually and looked at his professor. “Sir.” He croaked out as he stepped forward. Snape had been his anchor more than once after a battle. They had a similar understanding that had surprised him at first and then became his sole comfort later. Snape understood what it was like to be…Harry.

Snape froze the boy’s stance started to change. The lad was about to do…something. He watched as the boy stepped closer and reached out a hand towards him. Snape waited and felt a skeletal hand touch his shoulder. He felt the tiny bones fist themselves in his robes. He could feel the shaking through his clothing and wondered why the reaction seemed to be calming from the contact, rather than getting worse.

“He killed them.” The boy whispered to him.

“No one has died, Potter.” Snape said, reaching out to rest a hand on the boy’s shoulder. The boy shook his head. “Look at me.” Snape said shortly. Harry’s eyes shifted to face Snape. “No one has died.”

“Sir?” Harry said in surprise. What is Snape doing here? More importantly, what did I say? ‘No one has died’? He looked around and prepared to die of mortification. He remembered his dream and how he lost himself, in front of Malfoy and Snape, of all people! He could practically taste their suspicion.

“Do you know us, Potter?” Snape said calmly as Harry pulled his hand away and took a few steps back from his teacher.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You are an imbecile, Potter! Harry told himself as he wondered how he was going to avoid their notions of what his dreams were about.“Yes, Professor.” Harry answered, rubbing at his face to help himself wake up. He wondered if he could rub straight through his skull to poke a hole in his brain. He could die that way, right? “I’m sorry to have disturbed you again, Mr. Malfoy. You as well, Professor.” Harry said.

“It’s nothing, Mr. Potter.” Mr. Malfoy said. “I am more worried about you.” He admitted as the door flew open to admit his wife.
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Marie M · Aug 28, 2007

Ok, there's no doubt that you have a point there, I haven't read this fic for awhile and didn't quite remember that part, if I had, I wouldn't have posted it.

Dark Minion · Aug 28, 2007

That fic is already posted in the barely readable thread.

It's not only the angst feast but also the whole Malfoy-plot that makes it unreadable.

Harry meets the Malfoys in Diagon Alley and Draco befriends him (it's not really two sided). Lucius is downright friendly and in December they invite him over for Christmas. Harry doesn't believe their behaviour, but Dumbledore forces him to spend the Holidays with the Malfoys. And there Narcissa cares for him almost like Molly Weasley.

The only point I grant Emma Lipardi is for grammar and spelling.

Lyndon Eye · Sep 1, 2007

2/5- I read a lot of it a few months ago. Seeing as I have no impression of it and can't remember the plot or anything special, it probably wasn't too original or moving.

Amerision · Sep 1, 2007

Seriously.

This woman must be some kind of child psychologist or social worker. She's got this weird fascination with broken!Harry and spending vast amounts of the story healing him, having him break again, heal, break, degenerate him into a little boy, again, and again...

2/5 for the mechanics.

ip82 · Sep 1, 2007

Yeah, I pretty much agree with reviews. It started well and then fell to pieces when 20+ years old Harry had to be mothered by Narcissa and Lucius fucking Malfoy. Even though I don't share automatic antipathy towards these characters, enough is enough.

Niffler Lord · Sep 1, 2007

I don't have much to add to the above.

1/5

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DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

Hi there, Guest

What is right by Emma Lipardi - T

Marie M Raptured to Hell

Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Palver High Inquisitor

Marie M Raptured to Hell

Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

Lyndon Eye Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

ip82 Prisoner

Niffler Lord Headmaster

Complete Harry Potter and the Eternal Right - MattD12027 - M

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