sweet chapter.... remus running for minister.. that's a shocker

 

never seen Remus for minister before.

Best prank of all time!

 

I know.. it'sll be sweet

 

heh by then it'll be too late.

 

okay guys it's what you've been waiting for.. chapter 5 is out now and boy what a chapter it is

http://jeconais.fanficauthors.net/White Knight, Grey Queen/5 - Planning.html

 

Ug was perfect till now and then it starts fugging it up=(

-Focus on back to Hogwarts... 0,0 If harry's such a badass why does he have to go back - overused cliche, He's not learned anything extraodinary in 5 years there, keep him the heck out of there.

its buyable if he's going in simply to recruit teachers and slowly kill off death eater children or something, but it's a waste. It falls under my peeve of authors using Hogwarts to generate "Filler" material i.e. generic Ron/Hermione/Etc interactions that are always corny.

-Focus on the Quidditch ban- Why the hell would he be worried about that now that he's got all his training and stuff to keep up with? -overused

-the whole bit about Malcolm teaching/speaking Harry how to seduce his daughter was a bit distrubing also.


The rest was excellent, just the whole Hogwarts thing really, really bothers me. What I imagine will wind up happening is Harry and Pansy will get back at Umbridge and various others, and the war effort, and all the revolution movements will stop, while we are left reading pranks =(

 

Chapter 6 up:

http://jeconais.fanficauthors.net/White Knight, Grey Queen/6 - Return.html

I´m gonna read it now, enjoy!

 

Chapter 6 is great, theres a bit too much Ginny coddling and making everyone feel nice and comfortable, but for the most part it was excellent.



Could of used much more Dumbledore dialogue, Draco trying to get even, and alot less of Ron and Hermione

 

I conceaded the point about him back in Hogwarts, based on how well written this story is... but i still feel it was a bad move. Every author I've seen has him return to use the multitude of pre existing characters there, simply because it's easier.

And yeah... they do get over him with the Slytherin Ice Queen in like 20 minutes or so time. Its mostly believable to boot. Pansy basically tells Ginny get over Harry, he loves me, or I'll destroy you... Unless you want to be friends, then I'll buy you stuff and we can all take care of Harry and support him... but if you touch him i'll whip this knife out of nowhere and cut you hoe I mean it!

Pretty funny moment between Pansy, Ginny, and Daphne.

 

Actually, i think Hermione was to busy thinking about the house elves. :wink:

 

I really dig this story, but Harry's friends all seem to get over the Pansy/Harry relationship way too quickly and I think Pansy was way too tolerant of Ginny. GInny KISSED Harry and they both brush it off, like she can just turn off her feelings. Also, these tests of Harry's fidelity seem really unfair and contrived in my opinion. I mean, its one thing to expect a kid not to take a cookie from the jar, but to sit their waving a cookie under his nose and not expect him to take a bite is A.) foolish and unfair expectations and B.) stupid and counterproductive. What did it prove? Does Harry love Pansy any more than he did before? The author is using these encounters to soothe frail female egos and insecurities by treating men like dogs. In addition, life has enough temptations and pitfalls in it as it is, people don't need to go around creating more.

Lastly, I think that the dialogue is kind of childish :? I mean Pansy's and Harry's love seems like a childish fantasy of what love is/should be with people racing for kisses. Step it up a notch in the intimacy department, and stop making it so much like madly in love 7th graders.

even couples in that early goggle-eyed, puppy dog phase are don't speak that way. Then its more like, "God, you're gorgeous. And Smart. Let's go to bed and fuck all day long."


Despite these flaws I really do like this story and I hope the author updates again soon.

 

Chapter 7 out:
http://jeconais.fanficauthors.net/White_Knight_Grey_Queen/7_Consequences.html


It's got a nice surprise at the end, seriously i though i was gonna faint!!

 

I'm confused. In part I really didn't like this chapter at all. It goes against most of the other ones, but then there are parts that fit in with the author's current standard of greatness.

Early on it has Harry crying during his rant to Hermione, in which he acts totally oppisite to how he has. In the rest of the story, he's accepted what he has to do, and he's going to do it no matter what, screw the world.

Hermione gets bitchy b/c he's fixing the election, and Harry proceeds to whine about his parents and Sirius? (and it make the whole thing seem REALLY out of whack, when later on she totally changes her tune)

That bit really did some damage to the cool Harry he had been building up to that point.


The author redeemed it with the Dumbledore conversations, but the first bit with Ron and Hermione was way out of place


The bit with the dance was sweet enough to make my fillings hurt. ug. More killing and death! muhaha.

Ron keeps going back and forth between accepting to blindingly weird. It's rather annoying, it's only bad in the drunk rant he has.

Snape/Umbridge/Aragog = owned.

The ending was incredible, but the whole chapter itself just felt like a mishmash =(

 

i like this fic and i never like a hp/pp fic..... don't know why...don't really care...but its a good fic....its got some funny things in it....i'm lost about ginny....why is she still next to harry...he's taken...please dont let it be hp/pp/gw...but i like it

 

Yeah it does seem like he'll be boning all three of them before too long.

 

i really hope not...but if it dose happen i'll probelly still read it cause its good...i'll just call ginny BZ( cant spell HER, i dont care what JKR says, name)