Narcoleptic dog, he was bred for beastiality........while sleeping.

My -Hyphens- vs your _underscore_?

 

Underscore; my separation is more effective than your unity.

X Gun vs "Cosplay Suit"?

 

Six days and no winner means that it's either a tie, or nobody knows what the hell an "X Gun" or "Cosplay Suit" is. My guess is the latter.

Petunia Dursley vs. Delores Umbridge in a chainsaw fight?

 

They both lose, but everyone else wins.

Daphne Greengrass vs. Susan Bones in a Wet T-shirt contest.

 

Susan Bones; It's always hotter to see the modest Hufflepuff girl go wild.

Sasu/Naru Yaoi Fan girl VS Draco/Harry Slash Fan Girl in a "Make us Puke" contest.

 

D/H fangirl. No contest. Though I suppose they both win since we all kill ourselves.

J.K. Rowling vs. Paris Hilton (you pick the contest)

 

A "Who makes us facepalm more" contest with Paris Hilton beating out JK by the slimmest margin possible.

Soccer Vs Futbol

 

Football because it is the original name for what you Americans have corrupted to become soccer.

If you mean between the sports, soccer and American football, then soccer wins hands down even if it is labeled incorrectly.

Lindsey vs Balls of Steel

 

Have to go with Lindsey. Drew tears from the guy.

A bitch fight between Umbridge and Petunia

 

Umbridge; Petunia would be too terrified of Umbridge's "freakishness."

Crookshanks vs Mrs. Norris?

 

Crookshanks. They're both smart, but he is bigger.

Team America vs MI6

 

Team America. Who else could do all they do, while not getting tangled in their strings huh?

Ginny vs Paris Hilton in a "Who has the most STD's?" Contest.

 

Paris. There are magical cures for Herpes.

Jimi Hendrix's "Little Wing" versus Stevie Ray Vaughan's "Little Wing".

 

Gotta go with the guy who played basically every note on acid. Edit: Hendrix for those who didn't know that.

Optimus Prime VS God

 

Optimus Prime. The Christian God seems to stick to only one main shape, which is nowhere near as cool.

Kinsfire vs. xxxbloodyristsxxx for sheer annoyance.

 

Kinsfire. He makes us look bad, whereas xxxbloodyristsxxx makes emos look bad. I'm ok with emos looking like emos.

Lord Voldemort vs A Mormon

 

EDIT: Depends on whether or not the Mormon trys to convert Voldemort.

xxxbloodyrists666xxx, who makes my eyes bleed more often.

Spongebob vs. Homer Simpson?

 

Spongebob. He seems all sweet and fluffy, but underneath, that guy is hardcore.
Green Lantern or Batman?

 

Batman. He's got to have a yellow light somewhere on that utility belt. If he keeps kryptonite there, he keeps a yellow light there.

An effeminate gay man Vs a PMSing woman who just called him fat?

 

Menstruating woman. Youch.

Gotham City's police department vs that of Metropolis.