Metropolis. Batman beats up normal criminals. Superman is around the world catching downing planes all fucking day.

Darth Vader with a wand Vs Lord Voldemort with a lightsaber?

 

Vader. Because he's your father.

The entire cast of "Family Guy" in a Battle Royalle. (Include the neighbors and stuff, so that it's not just like that one episode)

 

Adam West, because he's the motherfuckin' batman.

Adam West VS Christian Bale

 

Adam West, because he was on the Fairly Oddparents.

Voldemort vs. Wormtail in a belly dance contest?

 

Voldemort. He's got style and pizazz, while Peter only has a silver hand and a pot-belly.

A pregnant woman vs A vengeful almost all powerful male God

 

Women probably laugh at all these vs. pregnant women questions, but... Definitely the pregnant woman.

Spider Man vs. Spider Pig?

 

Spider pig, for he art glorious in mine sight.


Garlic peeler vs. egg-mixer-thingy?

 

Mechanical egg-beater, woman!!!! FEAR!!!!

*cough*sorry 'bout that*cough*

Knights of the Cross/Sword vs. The Fallen (equal ratio of fighters on both sides)?

 

Knights of the Sword have swords, gotta go with the guys with sharp shit.

Magic the Gathering Monsters VS Yu-Gi-Oh! Monsters

 

I would say Magic since I know it is older...but I never played it, and Yu-Gi-Oh is my only card playing experience from childhood-oh and Pokemon.

What would pawnt more...

Who Would Win vs. Who Would Win II?

 

Who Would Win II, because I never experienced the first one.
Madam Pince vs. Pomfrey at pole dancing?

 

Nurse babe or Librarian babe? The Nurse as we aren't sure she is an old hag like the librarian.

Guys vs. Girls? Hehe.

 

Girls. See Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, for further details.


Harry vs. Voldemort in a world where he doesn't have the Plot Device of Doom?

 

Voldemort. Harry was nothing compared to Dumbledore, and he only fought Voldemort to a draw.

Voldemort (no Horcruxes) vs. Grindelwald (in his prime)?

 

Grindelwald. Much cooler name imo.

For sheer enjoyment...

Batman's utility belt or Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory?

 

I'd say the belt, but only if it had an Oompa Loompa in one of the pockets.

Tinkerbell vs the chick from Ferngully.

 

Tinkerbell. Never seen/read/what-have-you Ferngully. And of course Batman would have an Oompa Loompa in his Utility Belt.

Bun Bun (Sluggy Freelance) vs. "The Beast" (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)?

 

Go Bunicula!

Holy Hand Grenade vs. Deathly Hallows?

 

Holy hand grenade of course.
"O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy."

Snape nekked vs. Dorothy

 

Neither. The second Snape takes off his clothes the universe explodes (defense mechanism).

Hack's left nut vs. Dobby's right nut