Agree with the most: Children's book.

Just in case people like my ex-best friend would be banned from reading those scawy scawy books that would damage widdle kids' innocence.

Seriously, she was banned from reading GoF and OotP as they have character deaths in them.

Talk about overprotection...or pure retardation.

 

If kids can hear about a human being getting whipped and nailed to a cross, then they can read damn-near anything else.

 

Which is one of many reasons my children don't hear that nonsense.

 

It's so goddamn stupid how many books are banned because of bullshit reasons. For example, To Kill a Mockingbird because of the racism. And I just scanned through a list on Wikipedia and apparently it's okay to ban books - Grapes of Wrath - because they make people - in this case residents of California - look bad. Another classic banned was Lord of the Flies. While the book might be terrible, banning it because it suggests people might be savages is fucking ridiculous. One could get that idea from merely picking up a newspaper or turning on the television.

 

Back to talking about the basilisk, how the fuck did that thing get through the pipes? What the fuck kind of pipes does this school have that a 50-foot basilisk can slither through at it's own leasure?

The basilisk must've been going through J.K.R's plot holes for it to even fit.

 

See, back before wizards knew about bran and fiber, they might go quite a while between bowel movements, not to mention that wizards live longer than Muggles as a general rule. So, you can imagine that ol' Salazar (and later, Dumbledore) had some epic and monumental brown trout to get rid of, and there you have ample justification for pipes big enough to fit a 60-foot magical snake.

 

Magic.

Magical pipes.

Seriously though, I'm pretty sure that Salazaar didn't go through the trouble of creating a basilisk, a secret chamber in which to hide it, and a plan to cleanse the school of muggleborns...only to not have a way for it to get around.

 

Yeah I agree here, seriously the man makes a secret chamber in a bathroom, i doubt it is that hard for one of the greatest Wizards in history to make a set of pipes in his castle for the basilisk. It's probably the reason the chamber is in the bathroom in the first place.

 

Now that you mention it, where does all of the crap go? Into the Chamber of Secrets through the magic pipes, the lake, or some sort of cleanning charm?

 

Maybe that's why it never managed to eat anyone--it could only stare at the kiddies through cracks in the walls or something. So close, and yet so far away.

 

Gryffindor: "Alright, now that the school is finally completed, we need to get to work on the amenities and furnishings. First off is the kitchen..."

Slytherin: "I volunteer to do the plumbing!"

Ravenclaw: "...What?"

Slytherin: "I said I'll do the plumbing - sinks, toilets... that sort of thing."

"..."

Gryffindor: "...Right. Well, I thought that you would want to fill in the library, Rowena, and maybe Helga would like to start on the kitchens?"

"Of course."

"Surely."

Slytherin: "And I'll get started on the 2nd floor girls' bathroom!"

"..."

Gryffindor: "Aaaaanyways... good luck all. See you for lunch."

 

Howdy, that was hilarious.

 

I'm sure they thought it was due to his bad indigestion.

 

Just that good ol' Slytherin ambition!

 

Nice addition; laughed out right at Gryffindor's last line.

 

I thought they turned to stone?

 

I remember them being stone-like, but I don't think they were stone because Harry was able to pry Hermione's fingers apart to get the page on basilisks.