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Abandoned Yin and Yang by IP82 - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by ip82, Aug 5, 2006.

  1. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    Title: Yin and Yang
    Author: IP82
    Genre: Mystery/Action/Adventure
    Rating: M/R
    Chapters: 3
    Words: 50,787
    Updated: February 21, 2007
    Published: August 5, 2006
    Status: Abandoned

    Pairings: No romance
    Suggested category: "Dark Arts"
    Summary: Post-HBP; Following a trail of mysterious messages with a Yin & Yang symbol on them, Harry comes to certain devastating revelations, pushing him down the path to darkness. Dark!Harry, no romance.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3087210/1/

    Ok, this is the first chapter of my new story. It’ll be just a 4-chapter long short novel, about 50-60K words in total. It will be completely plot driven, meaning there'll be no romance or too much filler.

    You may have noticed I’ve blatantly used several well-established clichés, like Dumbledore and co stealing Harry’s money, power blocks, time-turner and such. I advise you to keep reading for two reasons:

    1) These are not very important concepts in this story, I won’t spend much time and effort working them out.

    2) There’s a plan, a higher purpose behind this. These are just means to an end (you’ll see what I mean in the 3rd or 4th chapter).



    Checked by Minion, Nov. 25, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2012
  2. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

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    Interesting chapter. Yes there were cliche but at least I know that you aren't going to go lightly with retribution. Nice twist with the goblins. I look forward to more.

    4/5
     
  3. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

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    My friend, you have used the Cliche's....but you have used them well. I recommend that this be moved to the library.

    5 Stars
     
  4. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Wtf an hour later and this is still here? I demand it is removed from this section and placed in a proper catagory! :p
     
  5. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    High Score:
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    Great story, hope you update soon. Although some cliche's have been used, they don't detract from the plot as they are integrated well. Highly recommended. 5/5.
     
  6. Fuegodefuerza

    Fuegodefuerza Minister of Magic

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    Yep. Great story, really enjoyed reading it, but I'm killing myself in anticipation for another chapter of Breaking Ties! The only thing that made me stop and read it again was the fact that a Yin-Yang was in the Chamber, and wasn't there when he entered. Wtf? I'll read on to find out what's happening there...

    Great work, keep it up, update soon!
     
  7. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    I think that was clear enough. The mark was there all along, just not visible. The magic from the ritual made the stuff the message was made of glow.
     
  8. Fuegodefuerza

    Fuegodefuerza Minister of Magic

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    Oh...glossed over that part. The fact remains, though, that whoever is making them has access to the chamber...wait...GREAT SCOTT I'VE GOT IT! I'll keep your secret, though, ip. :cheers:
     
  9. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    The infallibility to the chamber of secrets is a big myth of fanfiction. Ever since the 2nd year, Dumbledore and the half of the school knew where the entrence was. And beyond that is just a one foot wall and then a pipe leading to the chamber.

    Chamber's whole mystery was that it was SECRET. Now that everyone knows where the entrence is, it's just another restricted part of Hogwarts, only with parseltongue passwords.
     
  10. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

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    I'm instantly giving this a 5/5.

    IP let me have a peek at his plan for the fic, and without a doubt, this is the best plot-bunny that I have ever seen.

    IP: My bad...I got sick and slept an insane amount of time. WHen I woke up, I looked at the clock and went 'Oh shit...I was supposed to send him the email!' Whatever I have has to do with the ending only, so I'll send that to you.
     
  11. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Hmm...guesses as to who is laying the clues for Harry to follow...my best guess at the moment is Severus Snape...but I doubt it's him.
     
  12. Muttering Condolences

    Muttering Condolences Card Captored and buttsecksed

    Joined:
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    Amazing story. Well written, fluent, especially for one who's native tongue is not English. Highly Recommended, 5/5

    Edit: Nice touch with the Josef Mengele aspect. Rather that having Hitler or one of his top henchmen as Grindelwald, you pick this sadistic bastard, well done.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2006
  13. KANE

    KANE Groundskeeper

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    *Applauds* Definitely one of the best post hbp stories I've read, and one of the best stories period. Didn't spot many grammer/spelling mistakes, and no plot holes at all. At the moment, i have a pretty good idea of who's dropping the clues, but i won't say who, as i)I don't want to give it away and ii) I'm probably wrong. I think it could have something to do with what harry found in dumbledore's special cupboard.

    Recommended, 5/5
     
  14. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    If you want to make a guess about the clues, I'd appreciate if you did it on PM... and told me what kind of answer you expect.
     
  15. BloodLust

    BloodLust Seventh Year

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    Out of my mind...back in 5 minutes
    I really liked this fic, almost as much as I like your other one. As you said, you used some cliches but unlike in other stories, it doesn't detract from the quality of your writing at all.
     
  16. rj_stone2

    rj_stone2 Seventh Year

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    I love the beginning to this fic. Two fics in progress means you'll write twice as much, right?

    I don't think the problem with cliches is the cliches themselves, but rather that they are a sign of a lazy writer. No danger of that here--you use concepts that others have used before, but the writing is anything but cliched.

    5/5

    --Randy
     
  17. Xantam

    Xantam Denarii Host

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    I really liked it and I don't generally like Dark Harry fics. I'm glad you came up with an excuse to not make Harry a moron. 5/5 stars!
     
  18. carvell

    carvell Professor DLP Supporter

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    Well written this make a nice change, he's whole life being run 'family friends' this make's me guess that the whole snape killing dumbledore in HBP unexpected and not part of some plot made by the great bumblebee.

    The word's used to control Harry what are they, they can't be everyday words and word's not used often must come up at least once, unless they are in other languages like latin.

    I give this 9/10 it would be 10/10 but the cliches well they knock at least 1 point off but only because it is well written.

    Also one daft question ' Why control harry in the first place '
    Yes it is a daft question there are so many answers I would love to know your version of WHY?
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2006
  19. KateL

    KateL First Year

    Joined:
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    I enjoyed this very much, it's compelling and fast paced. Recommend.... can't wait for more chapters!
     
  20. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw DLP Overlord Admin

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    Excellent IP! Damn good job. Write more or I'll hunt you down and...er...can't do much can I? Awesome chapter.

    5/5