Fantastic chapter! Harry's character was wonderful, with all the internal struggles and dissapointments. The best done idea of Regulus I ever seen. Finnaly he has a clear and sound agenda. Could you please tell exactly the names of all the people Harry killed in those year?Can't wait for the next chapter of any of your stories.

 

Amazing update. I especially liked how Harry's rant did not get completed. Too often do stories fall into the trap of just having Harry rant and not do anything about it. This breaks two cliche's in one go, Harry forgiving everyone (or just not killing them) and Harry having a succesful (and long winded) rant. It now seemed a little comical instead of self righteous.

I also like how the Horcrux potion was actually an inferi induction potion. Does this mean that Dumbledore turned into an inferi (and escaped his prison that way)?

Also, good job on pointing out that Yin-Yang is not Harry (since he would have been able to open the letter if it was him, right?)

The only minus point in my head is the paranoia and second thoughts of Harry. I realise that they are part of the plot making the reader see that he's a person as opposed to just a dark wizard but at times I get the idea that its going a little over the top. The amount of second thoughts in the last chapter was a bit better in my opinion, here it is a little too whiny.

Also I hope you will eventually narrow down the things Harry studied in his 5 year abscence(sp?) to avoid it becoming a deus ex machina.

"Oh my, Harry just created a potion to make himself invincible."
"Don't worry he learnt it in his travels abroad while he was studying."

Also I think that he should at least continue to learn a bit more before he really starts to attack the dark lord. Sure he has had 5 years of intense training but that doesn't mean that he knows everything in the world. Personally I prefer an intelligent Harry, and an intelligent Harry realizes that there is always something new for him to learn.

Anyway, these are just minor points, I figured I couldn't just leave a review stating how good the chapter was (since that would be useless) and decided to at least try to include to something of substance.

 

Something has always bothered me about the so-called Horcrux potion: how in the hell did it get refilled? Does it refill by itself after someone drinks all of the potion? Some how, I doubt that, and yet.. there it was, filled to the brim with said potion. I like how you're seemingly going to answer this question.

I absolutely love your idea for how Dumbledore perhaps may have survived: I'd never thought that perhaps Snape did not use a full powered Killing Curse. I guess I sorta assumed that, once you could cast one that kills, you couldn't make it practically harmless. An over sight, I admit, and stupid one.

While the second thoughts were a little incessant, it sums up the human mind rather well, as well all have a multitude of second thoughts at certain junctions of our lives, which is exactly what this event was for Harry: a turning point. The way you support the idea behind both his revenge becoming lacking for him, as well as showing that Harry can be blinded by emotion even now despite his supposed practical and clear headed personality now. But what I truly enjoyed here was how you gave humanity to the people Harry so loathed, as many people seem to forget that even though someone may be an opportunistic bastard taking advantage of a child's misery and unfortunate circumstances, they're still human, though lacking certain aspects of humanity.

The last thing I want to insert here is my theory on who Yin & Yang is, and I'd like to state that I haven't read this whole thread so forgive me if I am simply restating some else's idea: Dumbledore. It seems to me that your Dumbledore is rather ruthless, and he would not want to leave evidence lying around of deeds that the public would not approve of: such as taking advantage of their hero, stealing from him, among other things. I'm sure that, over Dumbledore's long years of life, he knows that a secret known by many is not a secret all, and is only a step away from being leaked out (as, face it, there are no few people among the Order who have loose tongues that do not even need loosening by alcohol, such as Hagrid). So, for me, it's not too much of a jump in logic to think that Dumbledore would want someone to suitably seal the Order's mouths for them permanently.

This plan, to me, would explain why Dumbledore (or Yin & Yang) would leave Harry Mengele's notebook explaining about the command words, along with his journal on who to go to for mentoring and other connections. In fact, I doubt that Dumbledore would ever allow the true command words to be known to anyone but himself, so I believe that the notebook that Dumbledore said could only be read by himself in fact was truly blank, just in case Harry ever became strong enough to break such an enchantment. He wouldn't want the Harry he was molding to become a "Dark Lord" (which would obviously be what he wants him to become in this situation) to know a thing like this. And Harry, who Dumbledore would know would become powerful and intelligent through doing what Yin & Yang had said, would eventually come to the conclusion that he had to kill all of the Order to be safe (after Yin & Yang had him do the ritual, anyway).

Dumbledore would know that Harry would have to become Voldemort's equal: a Dark Lord, and Dumbledore would help him do it through Yin & Yang. Through the Yin & Yang letter he sent to the Weasley's (or the Order), which he would probably know would not be tampered with and eventually be found by Harry, he would know when Harry had come back and killed the Order if he set a monitoring charm or something to tell him when the letter had been destroyed. So, once Voldemort was defeated and Harry became the new Dark Lord, Dumbledore could triumphantly come out of hiding and defeat Harry with a few simple words, and become the ruling force in the Wizarding World, undisputed.


Anyways, that's my theory, and though I doubt it's right, I had fun trying to connect everything together in some way. All I have left to say is that I enjoyed this chapter a great deal along with chapter two, and great job IP82.

 

Hmm, it was supposed to go beyond his normal 'level of humanity'. See the chapter's title. And think of this as a test Harry had to go through - either he buckles down and reverts to his old self or outlast the crises and becomes the Voldemort's true equal.

Sorry, that's the whole point of skipping his training

Don't worry, there'll be no special surprises and Deus-Ex machinas jumping in to save Harry's arse. Just think of him as an above-average wizard, with dueling skills more or less equal to Voldemort.

Harry simply wants to get it done, the whole deal with the Prophecy guiding his life. And he sees himself ready to face Voldemort, especially after breaking through the last of his psychological blocks in this chapter.

Ranku: Thanks for the review. Your guesses are... interesting. You'll see whether you were right in the next update.

 

If he wants to become a Dark Lord, there is more work ahead of him. Brilliant chapter, I don't know how I could read Weasley love crap from ff.net after this.

Now the next step is Voldemort and his forces, and then the Ministry

I hope we don't need to wait for summer for PR update.

 

Now that is how one deals with betrayal. Go away for a while and lull them into a sense of false complacency, then when they least expect it, fuck their shit up!!! This has gotta be the first good reaction to a betrayal I've seen. Another great chapter. Hey, aren't you writing another story or something...........just curious.

 

Just finished reading both the updates and as always it was a pleasure to read your work. However, I am interested when it comes to the case of command words and the yin and yang person. At first, I was thinking it was Harry’s future self but now is it Old Dumbles bent on world domination or silent manipulation waiting to use Harry as his most loyal. Is Dumbles just waiting Harry to finish Voldie to whisper the command words to Harry’s ears and take control? I thought that Snape might have the command words but then he is already out of the picture… It would be a surprise if Voldemort hisses them…

 

I love the way that you have harry turn evil but the way that you kill the weaselly was a little exterm but i Loved It anyway

 

Jesus, man. Invest in both the spellcheck and look up those troublesome words you don't know.

 

I loved your story, pretty much as I have loved all your stories so far. I had actually ran across this one before but gave up on it before going all the way through after I saw all the cliches.

Then when I found it was yours I soldiered on and scanned over the cliches a little and got to the good stuff. The good stuff being pretty much everything else, and the great stuff being the entire scene with the horny garden gnome.

 

Heh, it seems about half the readers abhorred this scene and the other half loved it... *shrugs*

BTW, a quick update. In the meantime, I've edited and reposted all chapters of Potter's Resistance. I'm now starting the next one.

 

Like most said you did stretch the gnome scene a little but you made up for it by

 

I love that part. Anyway i liked the chapter but not the ending. His personality seems more suited for being up close and personal revenge rather than quick death.

 

About the difference between a dark lord and dark wizard at the end, Which really sounds better?

A wizard who uses dark magic as a tool, or a wizard who is used by dark magic? If the dark lord is the second one, I'd have to say I'd like to be the first. I think it might be better if it were the other way around.

 

Na, a Dark Lord has let the power go to his head. A dark wizard keeps that power tightly leashed. Unless I guess, if you started with the intention of trying to take control of a country or teritory. Then you're just fufilling you goals.... but why make it public when you could easily do it from behind the scenes.

 

I'm not completely sure why I posted this since it isn't really criticizing IP82 as a writer. Maybe it's just that I had to get it out.

Anyways, my main complaint about the story is that Harry's a true, very nicely done anti-hero. But I find myself absolutely hating the guy. He has good characterization, and he's written really effectively to make me despise him so much. But, as I said before, I hate him. I think that he's pathetic.

I mean, he spent five years seething over some wrongs that were done to him. Of course, they were great wrongs and its reasonable that he wants to have revenge so badly. But I really want to punch him and yell, "So somebody messed up your life. Get the fuck over it! Life's unfair." And a real hero would, although an anti-hero wouldn't.

When the story has him go and practice a speech for five years while dreaming that everybody will ask for forgiveness from him, I find my respect for him rapidly diminished. I wish that he'd read the Evil Dark Overlord list: don't monologue when your enemies are dying.

Also I think it's pathetic that every time he has a good feeling he immediately suspects Dumbledore of casting mind-altering charms and must wash it away with a round of dark magic. I can't really find itself in me to do anything but view it as contemptable.

And of course, the dark magic corrupts him to do the most stupid thing possible: abandon his plan and face the Dark Lord head on. IP82's just written the characterization for a Dark Lord very effectively. In fact, Harry almost sounds rational when he says:

Too bad he isn't. I guess that this story made me realize that I hate anti-heros. Especially when Harry's story isn't particularly tragic. Well, no. Now that I think about it, a summary of the story actually does make it sad. It's just that the fic doesn't give it a tragic tone. It gives Harry a contemptable tone.

 

About Harry dreaming his revenge for 5 years...
You see, the thing is that this drive for revenge was a large part of his motivation to improve himself. After realizing his growth has been stunted his entire life, he desperately wanted to prove to himself he was better than what they wanted him to be. Without this (partially) irrational desire, he wouldn't have achieved nearly as much as he did.

Err, I might have been misunderstood here. He had always planned to face down Voldemort head on. The plan stays on. What we saw him dismiss was his plan to pin the massacre on to Voldemort and instead take the credit himself.

We may see him acting a bit more reckless than he otherwise would, but he won't turn into an idiot all of a sudden. This was more about the way he will present himself to the world, rather than the way he plans to take down Voldemort.

But yeah, in the end, I agree with you; this Harry was never meant to be overly sympathetic or cool. Like he said himself, "there's nothing cool in murdering and torturing for the fun of it". However good his reasons might be, that doesn't change the fact that, at this point, he's a bad person.

 

I have just finished reading Yin & Yang and it was brilliant, actually all of your stories are perfect. You're one of my fave. authors
I'm very interested in what the motive of Yin&Yang person is, why is he (I can guess that it's he) helping Harry? or is he?
I hope that you'll update soon, weather it'll be update of Potter Resistance or Yin&Yang doesn't matter

P.S. excuse me for my english, everyone. It's my third-forth language

 

Thanks for review. I'm working at PR at the moment, 6-7 K's into the chapter. I took some time to figure everything out (had to edit a part of the outline).

 

Wow, I thought your fics were dead.