LOL. The meatgrinder is great.

 

CLose--but it really has spikes. Like ...like iron maiden spikes. To your credit, I haven't seen said Meat Hammer Spiked Thing anywhere else so...yeah. ^^;

 

My implement is The Frying Pan of Doom - it's from a fantasy short story by Patricia Wrede of the same name. It can only be wielded by the true master, and will change anything into an egg. ANYTHING.

-J

 

The jaffle maker, oh yes, if only it worked on batteries. Portable searing power.

 

I want everyone here to know something: I WILL SPANK YOUR PUSSY ASSES WITH MY SPATULA OF DOOM!

:scampers off into the night waving spatula madly, he may make pancakes with said spatula later this evening:

 

Fear the Uber Torte Knife of Doom!
Nice, flexible, thin....Maybe heated...

Heh, my school doesn't have plastic knives anymore, I guess they're afraid we shall harm eachother/ourselves.
Like you couldn't do more damage with a spoon...

 

Your school doesnt have plastic knives... what next? Sporks are too dangerous they have pointy ends... LIKE A DAGGER! ZOMG! THE SCHOOL IS GIVING OUT WEAPONS!

 

I know...I'm kind of surprised they even let us have utensils at all. And my school isn't even that dangerous...

 

Appropriate kitchen knife holder.

EDIT: Someone already posted the above image and I didn't notice. Here's a new one.