At this point my biggest pet peeve would most likely be drawn out words (usually in all caps as well). For example:

Harry watched Sirius drift away on the wispy currents of the veil, shock momentarily freezing his body in Remus' grip. Then the situation slammed into him with the force of a freight train, and he cried out in agony and rage.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

I will literally stop reading no matter how good the story is before this point almost every time. It completely ruins my immersion and pisses me off to the point of no return.

 

MAJOR pet peeve: when people try to fit muggle things (clothing, technologies, etc...) in with wizards for absolutely no reason.

Case and point.

On a side note, that's not even from a crack fic. Yes, it was that bad. Now, I'm only reading it because it's amazingly horrifying how bad it is.

 

This was moderately amusing when PL did it, but only just. Now it's just terrible. Why the hell does that fic have so many reviews?

 

As a Snape/Lily shipper, everything Portus has written is pretty much completely true - and that's actually one of the reasons I like seeing the ship work. Yes, Snape can be bitter and petty and has a chip on his shoulder that he needs to get rid of before he can approach any relationship with a degree of reason, but if one chooses to have Snape mature at all (which isn't difficult - after all, if James and Sirius can grow up, why can't Snape?), it can be a workable relationship - albeit not a conventional one. And that's the biggest reason why I like the ship - it provides a lot of writing opportunities and angles to approach the ship. Hell, the entire premise to my Lily/Snape story is that Snape comes to a stark realization that choosing the Death Eater path isn't exactly good for a long-term plan, so he tries a convoluted scheme to try and win Lily back. Of course, everything rapidly got out of control, but that was intentional. It creates drama and an interesting story.

Eh, I dunno about that. You can still run with canon characterizations to a certain extent, and there is such thing as maturing characters. Of course, considering the vast amount of material about the 'Marauder generation' that we just don't know, there is a fair amount of creative freedom. And I must admit I do take a little issue with the assumption that just because James' ego cooled off and Lily decided to go out with him implicitly means that there was always interest. In fact, we know very little regarding James and Lily's relationship, or even what they did together. Sure, they dated in seventh year, but we don't know anything else beyond that. Hell, it could have been a dare by Marlene McKinnon over Firewhisky and a smoking pipe of Knotgrass.

...heh, stoner!Lily. I want to see that done.

Uh, what? You jumped to a lot of conclusions there, and I'm not sure I buy your logic at all. So characters might mature throughout the course of a story - that's not a bad thing, you know. That's called character development. Let me take Snape as an example - it's pretty sensible to state that he would really not be a good boyfriend for Lily as he is (from what very little we know), and the relationship wouldn't likely last. Unless something happens. Say Snape grows a spine and doesn't behave like an asshole. Or he begins dealing with his own issues - he's a pragmatic character, I could buy that progression. Or he decides to put his Occlumency to good use and works to seal off his own emotions - which, in the mean time, might allow him to consider the situation analytically. And I don't always exclude Lily from the blame here either - I don't buy Snape was the only one driving a wedge between them, I don't think Lily would have said what she did outside of the common room after the worst memory if there hadn't been some build-up on both sides.

So yeah, I don't buy you have to turn Snape or Lily into an OC to make things work. I believe through some character development and some plot, it can work - and never very well, but that's the reason why the stories are good to read.

 

Well, I'll admit that my dislike of the pairing influenced my logic. I'm just not a fan of changed parentage fics (unless extremely well written).

And that last part was in regards to stories where Snape goes back in time and does everything over again. The fics I've read have him change into another person almost instantly (though I might have been reading the wrong fics). Characters do mature over time, as they should, but when you have people going back in time, their personalities would be harder to change, because they are essentially older than they appear to be.

So when you have a Snape going back in time, I don't see how he'll suddenly become the person he needs to be in order to win Lily's affections. He can pretend to be that person, yes, but it's harder for older people to just change. And assuming he goes back to his Hogwarts days, he'll be dealing with people much younger than he is, including Lily. Given his canon personality, I don't see how he'd be able to take James Potter bullying him. He got pretty pissed off when Harry called him a coward at the end of HBP; James did worse than that.

Of course, this also applies to stories where Harry goes back in time as well. If I were to go back in time to when I was 11 or twelve, or even a bit older like 15 or 16, I doubt I'd be able to stand the people around me. You wouldn't just be able to fit in.

 

I would love to see a fic where Snape goes back in time and does not get Lily in the end. Lily does not have to end up with James because of the changes Snape has made... But after all his trying, he does not get Lily, they are just not compatible for anything more than friends.

I like Snape as a character but I just cannot see Lily/Snape working, in my mind they are not compatible. Anyways, then we won't get Harry and therefore HP no longer exists.

Btw, I had a pet peeve I was going to post and now I cannot remember it to save my life. Ick.

 

Oh, I dunno about that. He would have lived enough of life by that point (if it was a 'redo') that he wouldn't really care about how James was treating him - or at least, that's the most common thing I've seen in those fics (in both 'The Apprentice' and a few others). I mean, so James calls him names and bothers him - most often, a reincarnated Snape knows a shitload more magic and can wipe the floor with any of them.

No, I take issue with the 'Snape redo' fics because they squick me out a bit if not written properly (one of the biggest issues I had with 'The Moment It Began' was how Snape dealt with his 'past', so to speak, and it ended up being a crippling problem later in the story), because they can come off very pedo (same reason I can't stand Snape/Hermione or anything pairing Snape with a student... eugh). I personally prefer the 'diverging' Lily/Snape fics, where something either changes early on that changes the status quo from the get-go, or Snape makes a conscious effort to change his life.

But enough about this ship - I get the distinct feeling that most of DLP have watched the growing interest in Snape-centric fics with mingled fury, disgust, and horror.

 

Well, I dunno about the rest of DLP, but IMO, as long as it's not a SS/LE fic, I think that Snape has the potential to be an amazing supporting character, whether he chooses to be loyal to Dumbledore, Voldemort, or himself.

---------- Post automerged at 01:16 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:04 AM ----------

^
This.

It's probably the biggest reason why I dislike redo fics. But I guess that as much as I hate the pairing, a SS/LE fic can still be well done. For example, I liked this one-shot well enough. It vilifies the pairing, and is also not too up front about it.

 

Basic story structure suggests there's a character with some ambition. Then comes a catalyst that pulls him out of his comfort zone. The conflict is the character trying to overcome the problem he finds himself in. The resolution can be happy or not, but it comes when he finally faces the problem and, usually, succeeds.

Snape/Lily? No problem.

Ambition: Make Lily love him.
Setting: Year 2000. Lily dead. Death Eaters won and Snape's colleagues celebrate. Snape is miserable.
Catalyst: He finds a way to travel back in time.
Conflict: Lily rejects him. James Potter is in the way. The first rise of Voldemort puts a strain in their relationship. James Potter and friends push him too far and Snape seriously injures one of them. Snape is expelled from Hogwarts.
Resolution: Snape, fighting for Voldemort because it's the cause he believes in (let's pretend it's this way), finds himself face to face with James Potter, his friends and Lily. He faces them all in battle and Lily is killed in the struggle.

Snape is still miserable, but at least he got to explore the possibility. And at least she didn't marry James Potter.

Edit: Sounds terrible. I would trust only a handful of DLP writers to do a Snape-centric story justice.

 

This. This is the problem with nearly every redo or time travel fic ever. If the person traveling back in time is going any significant distance, romance with there original partner or crush is creepy and offputting. Especially if the person in question is going back to school. They're hitting on/creeping on someone mentally much younger than them, someone they've already known, lived with, often seen die and in many cases already had a relationship with. In a lot of these fics the characters traveling back in time are over twice the age of the character that they begin a romance with. That's not 'getting a second chance to do it right', that's not love. That's obsessive, stalkerish, fucking creepy and often pedoish behavior. It's just as bad, if not worse than Snape/Hermione or comparable fics. Unless the intent is to show the main character as psychologically fucked up, narcissistic and obsessed then it detracts from the story. And that's why romance ruins nearly every redo or time travel fic out there.

 

Time-traveling pedophiles, having underage sex with minors in a minor's body- One more reason to implant a tracking chip in your children. And possibly implant nano-tech weapons.

My biggest pet peeve about the time travel genre in general is how the adults seem to react to it. Everyone seems to think that the adults are not only watching Harry (or whoever) like hawks, hanging on his every move. Every year, there is always something far more important than keeping a close eye on Harry Potter: The Stone, The Basilisk, Sirius Black, The Tournament, Voldemort and Umbridge, Voldemort and the Ministry, Voldemort running the Ministry...

For example, McGonagall wouldn't even consider that someone was going for the Philosopher's Stone in book 1, didn't find a group of first years knocking out a fully grown mountain troll all that odd, and overall seemed a little distant. This trend continued throughout the series to some extent (and when combined with the incompetence, is probably why the wizarding world actually needed three 17 year-olds to save it, and why the 17 year-olds could in the first place). Why would anything short of Harry jumping around and screaming at the top of his lungs about Voldemort's imminent rebirth set off any warning signs in her head?

 

Agreed, though I really dislike when any story has him watched so closely Dumbledore would probably know how many times he's masturbated each year.
Watched 24/7 could become this:

"Harry, no! It's dangerous to go in there alone, take this with you!" Molly Weasley said as she shoved her youngest son into the other boy.

"Uh, it's okay. I think I can use the bathroom by myself." He shut the door before Ron followed his mother's instructions and joined him in the bathroom.

Harry leaned against the door and sighed. He could feel someone knocking frantically on the other side. Suddenly, the small window near the toilet smashed inward; a boot in its place. The familiar form of Mad-Eye Moody struggled a bit before he was finally able to maneuver himself into the room.

"Mad-Eye! What are you doing in here?"

"Someone has to be watching you! The Order is on call 24/7 when it comes to Harry-watching. Watching you is more important that fighting Death Eaters or saving muggles. We aren't able to help you, but we've gotten quite good at watching."

Harry stared at the paranoid man blankly.

"Now then." Moody said as his fake eye focused somewhere to the right of Harry's shoulder, "Do you need help with anything? We've heard you had a bit of a problem getting it up this month."

"No, I most certainly do not need help!"

Moody's eye spun in the silence before Harry folded. His cheeks reddened and he looked at anything but Moody. "Fine. Send Tonks in please."

 

Crack fic romance, anyone? :awesome

 

In any story where the children save the world, *all* the adults have to be either absent or unbelievably incompetent. HP suffers from this the same way as the rest of the genre.

 

This.

Even in canon, Dumbledore said that the prophecy was self-fulfilling only because Voldemort believed in it. If that's the case, then anyone should be capable of killing him.

Someone should write a fic where some random person just sneaks up behind Voldemort and shoves a knife in his ear.

 

Actually, I'm pretty sure I've read a crack fic like that before...

 

Seriously? Link me, nao.

 

Jor, if I knew the name I'd have posted it. I can't be expected to remember the name of every crack fic I've ever read. I'm pretty sure it was a oneshot thou...

 

Well, shit.

That's a dampener.

What can you remember about the fic' in general? I'll try and search for it.

 

Here's a stab in the dark.

Edit:

I realised that Shezza's one shot is slightly longer than I remembered: