He kept slapping Bellatrix, saying that he needed to keep his pimp hand strong...

Am I the only one that lol'd?
:awesome

 

The current state of the fan-fiction fandom on FF.net; it's all imitation, not innovation.

'Tis as stale as David Cameron's sex life.

 

David Cameron.

Of all the politicians you could go for, you go for David Cameron?

Seriously. Where does that even come from? You've got the likes of Nick Clegg, Ed Miliband, fuck, even John Prescott, and you go for David Cameron.

I am dissapoint.

(He is a massive cock though)

 

Well, he is a cunt. Point enough.

 

I think we're getting off topic.

Mary Sue/Gary Stu... Nuff said.

 

Scar kissing just pisses me off. I don't know why, but it just always seems daft, and unreasonable.

 

Maybe if they tongue kissed it, it would be more palatable?

But not if it was bleeding, like it seems to do in every single story I've ever read. Frequently. And sometimes it's not just regular red blood, it's black!cursed blood that oozes like thick oil down... ahem.

 

Lately, not capitalizing things that should be capitalized.

I've seen loads of stuff recently like "headmaster Dumbledore", "hogwarts", "transfiguration", etc. It's a bit anal of me I guess, but it is really jarring (and highly annoying) when you put down a real novel and then go read a fic or two on ff.net where grammar is apparently an afterthought.

Seriously, it seems like most authors on ff.net failed 8th grade English.

 

It isn't just the horcrux!scar that'll get kissed, it'll be all and any. So his basilisk bite, Horntail stab wound, Wormtail's slice wound...

And I have read one where Fleur tongues his horcrux!scar. But can't remember what it was called.

 

Non-British people trying to make up for their lack of Cultural knowledge by throwing out "bloody" in every other sentence. Now, I'm not British, but even I know that this,

Is completely ridiculous.

 

Not really, just at the topmost end of normal.

I'd managed to avoid noticing the menstrual innuendo until now, cheers.

 

But if you're not British how would you know? Not only have I, at times, utilised bloody as a frequent expletive, I have participated in many conversations with many different people who did so as well.

 

You still get the point, right?

I just checked and I have 1458 favorites... Yet I have ONE story on alert. I suppose the Alerts are my favorites now, ne?

New pet-peeve. Complete randomness. (When it's not a CRACK or parody). Dumbledore bursting into Fudge's office and punching him through forty floors is not normal. Is there even forty floors there?

EDIT: @Mordecai I mean through the WHOLE story. Anger is completely normal. All characters in the story speaking that way in every sentence is not. Surely you don't do that every time you open your mouth? There are a lot of things that make a story good. Chronic cursing isn't one of them.

 

Well, maybe I was incorrect to use the word expletive. Its not quite accurate. Emphasis would be more like it. Frequent use is perfectly reasonable.

 

I fear I wasn't completely clear in my explanation. Frequent use is acceptable. I dislike ridiculous use, where you can count the words used and half of them are curse words.

 

Hah, I've got a creepy mental picture now of Fleur Delacour trying to scoop out Harry's brains, via his scar, with her tongue.

"Good Scar, nomnomnom."

 

You should never, ever watch Deadwood.

(But I do completely, thoroughly understand your point, and agree for the most part. Harry Potter is less Harry Potter when there's constant swears anyway.)

As for a pet peeve: Gringott's. It's Gringotts, okay? Not that hard to remember. The amount of authors I see make this mistake is astounding, with quite a few DLP authors making it, too.

 

No, you are not.

Why ever not, you limp-dicked cocksucker? :awesome

(Okay, without a few more F-bombs, that sentence still isn't quite Deadwood caliber.)

 

I was reminded of another of my pet peeves today. I had forgotten about it, but when I saw it, I had a burst of irrational anger. It occur's pretty much solely in the terrible indy!Harry stories, you know the type. It's simply where Harry does Nearly Headless Nick a favor by finishing the job, and separating the ghosts head so he can join the headless hunt. Utterly fucking pointless.

 

THIS.

If a writer has to post an explanation in an Author's Note or Review Reply then he's fucking doing it wrong. This needs to be shown in the story, whether through character interaction, plot or even a Miss Exposition.