Ugh, this one is the fucking worst, especially in shitty time travel stories.
I've quit reading a bunch of time travel fics because of this exact thing. 30-40 year old Harry comes back and starts mackin on a 10 year old Ginny/Hermione/whatever :facepalm

 

Mere time is no match for a soul bond.

 

Suddenly it all makes a disturbing amount of sense.

 

Well... The Sorting Hat seems to sort people based on what they aspire to be rather than what they are.

 

I don't wanna rain on your ragefest, Warlocke, 'cause you do that better than anyone, but that bolded sentence seems like a giant leap of logic. Like, Grand Canyon-sized leap.

Funny, yes, but outlandish nonetheless.

 

This reminds me of my one of biggest annoyances - people trying to "fix" which houses people end up in based on their stupid misunderstanding of the characters. And inevitably, it's always the same...

Hermione to Ravenclaw, I guess, because she's smart? It's nonsense, considering her character... that house would be terrible for her. And Neville to Hufflepuff? Why, because people think he's not brave? Pretty sure he overcame his fears even in first year, when he confronted his "friends" to stop them from losing more points. The justifications are always shallow, and they never seem to get that maybe it's also about not just which silly concept you might seem like (intellectual, brave, hardworking, ambitious) - it's also about which one that would be good for them. Of course, there are those who disagree with me...

 

Uh, here in America we speak this crazy language known as English...

 

I didn't mean to say that one speaks solely Pig-Latin in America. Sometimes in stories people use that and I have no idea what it is, except that it sounds funny. An American friend of mine pointed out that its Pig-Latin and I see that a lot in stories. Its one of the things that annoys me.

 

You never used ig-pay atin-lay as a kid? Seriously??

UK, I am disappoint.

 

No I didn't. But if it helps, some of the accents of the people I know and the slang they use can constitute a language all on its own.

 

We used to talk like gypsy.They were the biggest minority.:awesome

 

You can't rain on my parade, because I'm having it underwater. Funny and outlandish were my only two goals; logic had nothing to do with it.

Mission accomplished. :awesome

 

At least no one writes in Cockney.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockney#Cockney_speech

 

I've seen it done in a multi-chapter story, where Harry's dielect was done phonetically. It was impossible to read past the first chapter.

 

Was it just the phonetics (eg, 'ne'er' as 'never') in his speech, or was the full slang there, too? (Eg, ''is leg is bull o' shot - his leg is full of rot - very piss poor example; I can't write/think Cockney slang to save my life!)

 

Pet peeve: Reminded by another bad Harmony fic. Harry never trying to accept the Magical world and repeatedly points out the greatness of Muggles in every other sentence. He doesn't try to understand how the magical world works. He just knows they're backwards and stupid.

I do not want to read about Harry the Muggle that can use magic. I want to read about Harry, the wizard.

 

Conversely, one of my pet peeves is when writers can't let the muggles have anything!

Polio Vaccine? Wizards did it.
Chicago Fire? Wizards did it.
Magna Carta? Wizards did it.
Coca Cola? Wizards did it.
Witch Burnings? LOL, wizards caused it but none of them got burned for it. Too bad, so sad, muggles; you got punked!

Basically, anything of note in muggle history was actually accomplished by magical folk. So, even though the heroes (and, thus, the author) should be of the opinion that the wizards aren't perfect, and that muggles aren't the race of mud people that the death eaters say they are, the author basically makes it so everything of note that has ever happened on the face of this earth (and the moon) happened because someone with a wand did it.

The Unfortunate Implications being that muggles are useless and of no consequence whatsoever in the history of man.

Magneto would, perhaps, be proud.

 

It's actually quite plausible that some famous people could be wizards and/or squibs, but the extent that some authors go to is just ridiculous.

 

I somehow blocked that out because I've seen it way less times. But yes, I've x'd out a dozen fics that say Jesus is a wizard and religion for muggles is a joke that wizards started.

Can't anyone have Harry enjoy the magical world but not make it a Marysuetopia?

 

Possibly, the Simpsons did it before the wizards.
Also fu Warlocke for linking to Tv Tropes ><