Hedwig was his familiar?

 

I think, but it is entirely possible I am just infected with fanon clichés.

 

The Hedwig-as-Harry's-Familiar trope is one of the bits of fanon that I find least offensive. While some of the things authors do with it are clearly idiotic, Hedwig was obviously a very dear part of Harry's life. The two of them having a close bond, even if only in the manner of master and pet, is essentially canon.

 

Pet Peeve: The Auror Office being called the Auror Division or Corps or something similar. It's a small thing but the small things help make the story.

 

Harry having an obscene amount of money in his Gringotts vault- I'm talking in the hundreds of millions. I think there is a definite point where he would stop being treated as well-off from his inheritance to being able to buy and sell anyone in the wizarding world. At the very least Ron would say so to give Harry something to lord over Malfoy.

Harry's "Quidditch-toned body." I don't recall any lines saying that flying a broom is an act of working against resistance, so it wouldn't make you ripped.

And I read up to somewhere in the 50s of an an 89 page thread, but I'm certain this is a unique one- Luna being right about all of her imaginary animals. As someone who grew up believing in any and all cryptozoological creatures but grew out of it when I got older, I like that JKR said snorkacks don't exist. It doesn't take away from Luna's character that she believed in crazy things when she was young and it doesn't invalidate her good qualities, but so many writers set out to vindicate every weird thing she says.

 

Really any time that Harry is super fit or has massive muscles is just fangirls fulfilling their wet dreams. It annoys me because he was described as the opposite of that in canon, he was small and skinny, but the writers seem determined to make him into some Greek god type figure.

A lot of the time Luna's creatures being real is just a form of Hermione bashing, to prove that she needs to open her mind or some shit. I don't really have a problem with it though, it's just one of the many overused cliches that writers use.

 

TBF, that was only in the first few books. His physical appearance (other than his hair and eyes) wasn't really commented upon after that. Good-looking, just above average height and average build is how I think of him from fifteen onwards.

 

God, this. I remember the start of one back in my H/Hr days. Hermione shows up at Grimmauld Place and Harry meets her at the door with no shirt on. She nearly creams herself immediately, and as the author is describing Harry's "Quidditch-toned body," Hermione thinks to herself "...and he even has those little lines at his hips making a 'v' down into his pants."

:fire

I mean, really? Is that the best we can do? Shit, but that makes me wish there *were* a god, so I could focus a thousand prayers on getting this shithead author struck by lightning.

I couldn't agree more. I seem to remember one super!Harry where he actually *causes the CHS to exist*. Yes, you read that right, he was so super uber uber-super that *he brought them into existence on sheer will alone*. You know, Bible/Genesis-type shit. IIRC, they looked kinda like unicorn sheep.

On the other hand, the whole magical creatures thing can be played with quite well, and for a unique take on the effect such a creature being real might have, check out Crumpled by Antosha. Be warned, though, it's NSFW. It's posted on a site that requires membership for the rated-M stuff, but the story may also posted at his LiveJournal page.

I always say this, but Antosha is an EXCELLENT writer, and if you haven't checked out his stories, well... you should.

 

Thank you for that. I now have 76 more fics from an enjoyable author to read.

 

I don't suppose that there's a 'public' DLP account on that, is there?

 

oh good idea, you should make one :awesome

 

I was bored so:

username: DLP
password: public

 

Should be placed on a sticky somewhere.

 

Pranks - of all of the stories that I've read involving pranks I can count the number of good ones on one hand. Seriously, if you can't make it funny, don't do it at all.

 

^This. This so much.

They're always either stupidly simple or ridiculously over elaborate. The fics where Harry tries to live up to the "Marauder's legacy", or some shit, are the worst.

 

I suddenly want to see Harry use a Trip Jinx on Snape whilst he's on a moving staircase.

 

I read one where he put ice on the stairs to make Snape fall down, the beat the living shit out of him, and told him that it's no use reporting it because a, no one would believe Snape that was beaten by a first year(!) b, he would kill him.

 

As much as the idea of Harry beating up Snape bare handed amuses me...what the fuck?

 

The problem with pranks is that most people don't pull them in real life, so don't have much of a clue about them. The ones you do see happen are of the whoopee cushion/stink bomb kind; or the kind of pranks you see on tv - either the red devil painting every space in a parking centre with a disabled sign, or spaghetti trees.

This means that when you see pranks in fics, they either go too far, or not far enough. I've seen several where the Weasley twins are hated, because their pranks consist of putting holes in condoms, raping second years, and so on and so forth (admittedly, the twins aren't trying to prank in these); or where pranks often cause two or more nights in the hospital wing/St Mungo's. And then you get other pranks where Harry makes fart noises every time Draco walks into the room, or charms Crabbe's robes pink.

I dunno, it could just be Cheshire, but I never really saw any pranks, except the hoaxes on AFD. Well, apart from the Smiffy's style stuff.

 

Earrings at age eleven.

Or worse, tattoos.