You fall to the ground as a deafening argument about magical theory erupts in your head, with subthreads of wizard vs. muggle superiority.

 

Do we or do we not have knowledge of the canonical HPverse?

 

...

What, like a... fic-crux?

Okay. I think we can all grudgingly agree that Snape was, er, necessary. But -hear me out- he doesn't really need his genitals to do his job, right?

Right?

It's either start off with a little petty vengeance, or the hive mind will probably go into a fugue state as it tries to decide between a training sequence or harem building.

So... sever us Severus?

 

We would be Minister in a month.

 

DLP Plays Harry? Praise Helix-Mort.

 

Aren't we supposed to be Dark Lord Potter? Our last name is Potter, so we must be Harry. We have the title of Dark Lord to live up to as well. So: We kill Voldemort to get rid of competition, we kill Dumbledore because he could never be a Dark Lord otherwise, we kill a few muggles to prove once and for all that Wizards>Muggles, we kill Umbridge because she exists, then we take over the Ministry and rule Magical Britain forever.

Take over the World in Five Easy Steps : DLP style.

 

You forgot mentioning killing off the Malfoys and Snape.

 

I think we should direct our efforts towards getting into Fleur's knickers. Much more constructive use of our time.

 

Tonks is obviously preferable. She can transform into any girl, so she is better suited for our various tastes.

 

We try various ways to game/exploit the HP magic system and have them all blow up in our face.

 

This is hilarious because I just know that this is what would happen. We would think ourselves very clever and would become overconfident.

Then boom, buffalo.

 

Now you're just being silly.

Why not both?

 

No. Because DLP collectively is well-read and we know this shit never works. We'd be smarter than that. And there are enough of us to pin you down and tie you up if the need arises.

 

We need to remember to utter the phrase "For the greater good" every time we see Dumbledore.

 

I'm not sure acting like a dick to the man would accomplish anything worthwhile and useful.

 

For teh lulz.

 

We find the absence of a bespoke suit on our person, disturbing.
We remedy that.
Everything else comes later.

Then this sounds like the very thing to do.