1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Zombie invasion happens, what's to your left?

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Boo, Sep 12, 2010.

  1. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2008
    Messages:
    760
    Location:
    Ann Arbor, MI
    A squirt bottle of Purell and a phone.

    I shall use the phone and cord as a nunchuck, and the Purell to clean my hands of blood afterward :awesome
     
  2. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    6,193
    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    Hey fuck you - the black guy hasn't died first in a zombie apocalypse flick since '06 D8
     
  3. Portus

    Portus Heir

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2008
    Messages:
    2,553
    Location:
    Music City
    I can see it now: DLP Zombie-pocalypse, in which Blaise, desperate to not be "that black guy who was killed first fuckin' thing" throws mknote to the zombies within two minutes of the zombie horde showing up. After that, it's high-fives all around.
     
  4. goldenwolfeye

    goldenwolfeye Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    238
    Location:
    A tree, not a closet
    I've got an Evo (not the car) and an empty snickers wrapper.
     
  5. The Santi

    The Santi Professor

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2009
    Messages:
    478
    Location:
    Library
    A pamphlet on conservative economic principles and a lacrosse stick.

    I shall beat the zombie to death with my lacrosse stick, and then I'll quote Milton Friedman...

    "There's no such thing as a free lunch!"
     
  6. LT2000

    LT2000 Heir

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    2,706
    Sera's immediate weapons of choice

    - Fingernail clipper
    - Outdated USB card
    - Even more outdated, dust-covered electric fan
    - Pencil with a worn-down eraser
     
  7. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,961
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Merry ol' England
    Well, at least you can stab one of the fuckers in the eye...
     
  8. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    6,193
    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    Hey, I'd watch a movie/ read the fic with that plot - no offense, mknote.

    (Well, maybe a little.)
     
  9. Boo

    Boo Auror

    Joined:
    May 29, 2007
    Messages:
    630
    Location:
    Maryland
    When zombies start showing up its 'cut and run' time.
    Just cut someone and run.
     
  10. Snarf

    Snarf Squanchin' Party Bro! ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Messages:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Forty-Six & 2
    High Score:
    1,832
    A pillow... That's an awesome mental image, actually.
     
  11. vlad

    vlad Banned ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Messages:
    678
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Georgia, SSR
    High Score:
    2000
    Stapler.

    And a PaperPro at that. Zombies be toast.
     
  12. Coyote

    Coyote He howls n' stuff

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2006
    Messages:
    1,080
    Location:
    High enough to see for miles
    Eh, it's not a red swingline. You're fucked.

    Also:
    -Empty Forty bottle
    -Empty Forty bottle
    -Empty Forty bottle
    -Empty Forty bottle
    -Full Forty bottle
     
  13. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    9,027
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Baile Átha Cliath
  14. Khazad-Dumb

    Khazad-Dumb Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2008
    Messages:
    1,419
    Location:
    Clutch City, USA
    This is coming from an Irishman?
     
  15. Moridin

    Moridin Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,264
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Proudspire Manor
    He never said the next step was giving it up... :p
     
    Oz
  16. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    2,961
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Merry ol' England
    My situation has improved! I now have a plastic, 50cm high empty coca-cola bottle to my left!

    ...

    I'm still fucked.
     
  17. Lion

    Lion Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2009
    Messages:
    1,040
    Location:
    That place
    Mine has too. I know have a M4 full auto airsoft gun. With full tactical gear including sights, grips and a tactical light.

    Did I mention the light broke, the sight is what holds your ammo, and that the grip broke off. At least the body armor for paintball I have is here. Oh wait that's broken too.
     
  18. Alindrome

    Alindrome A bigger, darker mark DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2009
    Messages:
    2,771
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    England
    I keep a sterilised surgical knife next to me. Those zombies will have clean wounds, at least.
     
  19. Moridin

    Moridin Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,264
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Proudspire Manor
    Am I reading too much into this, or do you do that solely in case you come across threads like these?
     
  20. QuaziJoe

    QuaziJoe Dolphin Boy

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,651
    Location:
    The Other Surrey
    I have now strategicly placed a zippo with an old spice deodarant spray next to me.

    For the record do not spray yourself while near open flames.