Why are there no stories about the canon characters being in the Houses of whom they have the qualities thereof?

Harry is a Hufflepuff; he is meek and mild, raised to be a hard worker, and loyal, as evidenced by his rescue of Hermione from the troll (if he was courageous, he would have gone looking for the troll, not the girl). Hermione is a Ravenclaw/Slytherin; she highly values knowledge and learning, and wants to be the best witch she can be. Draco is a Hufflepuff; he is loyal to his family above all else. Ron is a Slytherin; he wants to make his mark and not be just another Weasley boy.

My challenge is to write a story, length matters not, in which the Hat truly Sorts the students based on their known qualities, rather then be the vehicle through which JKR grouped together her trio of kid detectives. (Yes, detectives, as the first three books were all about the Trio solving the mystery surrounding the item in the title of the book.)

 

I think the only problem with this challenge is that no one gives a monkey's nutsack what House Draco, Ron, Hermione and the next fucktarded canon characters are sorted into. Or at least I don't. Other than that, you've done what loads of authors are already doing...an AU sorting story premise. The End.

 

Being a whiny jealous tool who wants greatness without putting in work (I.e. Ron) doesn't make him Slytherin. Hufflepuff loyalty is more about comraderie, not familial loyalty - therefore no Draco in hufflepuff. Plus, the Hat will put you somewhere different if you beg, and Draco would be murdered if he got sorted into Hufflepuff.

That makes your whole challenge moot, really: everyone would just ask to be put in another house, regardless of where they truly belong.

 

Ron, a Slytherin? Sorry, but that just makes me laugh. It's true that he's jealous of his older brothers, since he knows that he'll never be as good as them. I mean judging by his magical "skills", the only job he'll ever get, will be as Filch's assistant.

He may very well be ambitious, but he has definitely displayed no cunning. Ron doesn't do anything at all to improve himself beyond his brothers, and Harry. In the Goblet of Fire he throws a hissy fit when Harry got selected as Hogwarts second champion. In the first book, he gets a temper tantrum when Hermione successfully manages to cast the levitation charm, because he knows that he can't do it.

Indeed, I was perplexed as to how he sucessfully managed to levitate the club, and smack the troll's head with it, knocking it unconscious. I'm still convinced that it was Dumbledore behind the scene, with an invisibility charm over himself, who did all the work.

 

Ah yes, i'll go and fix that. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was writing.

 

It's official. Harry Potter fanfiction has achieved "Condition Ranma," where practically every conceivable non-crossover plot has become cliche, and the presence of at least one other universe (Dresden Files, for example) is almost considered fanon.

 

....Did u make up "condition ranma" on your own?

 

He almost certainly did, but it doesn't make him any less right. Although, to be fair, I have read some original Ranma fanfics recently, but they were completely chock-full of crack.

 

But then, neither did any of the Slytherins from canon either.

I'm gonna go for "desperation". Like Molly vs. Bellatrix.

 

I always thought that desperation enabled him to lift the club, but then the adrenaline rush faded and he lost his grip. The club just smacked the Troll unconscious on its way down.

 

Meh, none of thte Slytherins from Harry's Hogwarts years. The more prominent former Slytherins (Lucius, Slughorn, Snape) were pretty cunning.

That's still giving him too much credit; I'll say "accidental magic" ftw.

 

I disagree. But that is mainly because I do not read crossovers. I don't want bastardisations of the Potterverse.

If crossovers are the only way forward,the it is about time they got their own stack in the Library.

Ron is as far from Slytherin as I could possibly imagine. I believe his ambitions are as unabmitious as you get. He wants to be better than his brothers, where as a Slytherin would surely want be better than everyone. He is also rash and devoid of cunning, and his apparent ability to play chess is no indication of a sly mind. Just look at him, he tried to hex Malfoy with a broken wand in CoS. Why do you think Dumbledore gave him the Deluminator? He knew Ron's hot headedness would force him to run away from Harry and Hermione.

 

Not to forget Lord Voldemort himself. It seems the previous generation was far more powerful and significant then the current. Even in Houses such as Gryffindor.

I say it was Harry who did it, casting silently, but let the idiot think he did to avoid a jealousy crisis and to inflate his ego.

More truthfully, it was probably JKR's way of showing us Won-won is not that useless (in her mind) and establishing a precedent of damsel in distress for Ron/Hermione, as she did with Harry/Ginny.

 

Yes, to both points. I've noticed that the post-V-War-I kids are not "the Greatest Generation" by any means. In fact, most of the students at Hogwarts during Harry's time are notable only because their peers are even less outstanding. Looking back over the series, Hermione was the only truly impressive child character and Draco Malfoy was the next best - at least he had one major achievement to his credit. Ron's petty ambition and lack of discipline, Neville's cringing nervousness, Crabbe and Goyle who appeared to keep their brains in a little glass jar ... and especially Harry, who was warped into a hideous perversion of duty twisted into complete self-sacrifice.

The Damsel in Distress aspect really is the only justification for the canon pairings in Hogwart's class of '98.

 

I was under the impression that Ron had no magic and it was actually the troll that tried to lift the club but later forgot about it, making the club fall on its head.

Ron waving his wand and saying the incantation was purely coincidental.

 

Indeed, and I feel this was needed to serve JKRs literary purpose.

She never wanted her characters to be competent at magic: they were the children who were learning magic, and the adults who were already "qualified wizards" were far above them.

This prevented problems in later books, as JKR apparently wanted to keep this children-adult divide, and yet the children themselves were coming closer and closer to being qualified wizards themselves, and should have been catching up with the adults.

Thus she made their generation incompetent.

 

Actually, based on what JKR wrote with the exception of Dumbledore, Voldemort, and...god help us...Snape the entire magical population of Earth was incompetent.

 

Hmm...I'd disagree there...there's a fair few

List of competent characters we know:

Dumbledore
Voldemort
Grindelwald
McGonagall
Snape
James Potter
Lily Potter
Remus Lupin
Kingsley
Slughorn
Lucius Malfoy
Bellatrix Lestrange
All Aurors
Hermione
Cedric
Krum
Fleur
Flitwick
Sprout
Most of the Order
Most of the DE's
Bill Weasley
Charlie Weasley
Percy Weasley
Arthur Weasley

And many more no doubt.

Out of these about 4 were from Harry's generation, and out of those only 2 at Hogwarts.