OH!
* waves hand *
I forgot - the Weasley twins were moderately impressive - and they were on their way to economic success Without Adult Aid. Their only screwup was trusting Bagman to honor his bet.

Whatever you want to say about the two youngest Weasleys, their parents had a high success rate in turning out self-sufficient adults. This doesn't apply to Gin or Ron - they were still kids.

 

I'm gonna go against the bandwagon and say id actually read this if it was written by a competent writer.

 

I think you would need a REALLY good writer to pull this off, and one who plans ahead. The entire house interaction would be thrown off the charts. It wouldn't be just Harry with a different Ron and Hermione who wears a yellow tie instead. Each character bring placed in their apparently 'true' houses, would no doubt have a huge affect on the school.

Would students still look up to Harry if he was a puff? Or ridicule him or whatever(they never really looked up to him). Would Hermione have friends at all? What would the 'slimy gang of snakes' be like without Malfoy? I think it would also have to be a fic that covers all the years of Hogwarts, and therefore I've already lost interest.

 

Cedric was admired and he was a 'Puff.

The Sorting Hat, instead of placing Ron in Slytherin, should read his mind and annouce to the school: "This child has no discernible magical talent whatsoever, and is more than likely to betray his friends in their greatest hour of need. I place him in Hagrid's House."

Helpfully fixed.

 

You know, that'd be actually a good idea. Would be ironic if it was Draco, who praised himself and pureblood so much, and in the end isn't sorted because he has no magical talents.

Why is Taure still banned, btw? I thought it was a one day sobering banstick.

 

Hahahaha. This is pure gold.

 

Yeah, Hermione should have returned the favor by ditching his sorry, worthless ass. I haven't seen a more incompatible couple since someone tried to cram a laser disc into an eight track player.

Okay, Ron isn't ideal Slytherin material, but then again, neither are the Slytherins.

Draco 'You'll be next, Mudbloods, when my father hears of this and the Dark Lord makes you pay!' Malfoy has rarely ever displayed much more cunning than Ron.

He routinely shows more ridiculous bravado, impetuousness and lack of subtlety than Harry and Ron put together. He positively glories in such public displays as threatening his enemies in front of crowds, telling Harry, in front of witnesses, that the Dark Lord will get him... it never ends. If it weren't for 'deus ex asinus' on JKR's part (can't have your antagonists get sent up shit creek too soon, no matter how inept they are), a single pensieve memory could have gotten Draco expelled and slapped into a Ministry holding cell until he could be questioned as to his father's activities.

Gryffindors have a reputation for bravado, being rash, impetuous, acting without thinking, and to some extent, bullying.

Draco is more stereotypically Gryffindor than any actual Gryffindor. Because he always opens his fat mouth without thinking, everyone knows he's Voldemort's favorite butt-boy, whose side he's on, who he's got it in for... and how can you have real ambition when you have no will of your own and merely do everything your father tells you to/expects from you?

Draco is as much a Slytherin as Ron is, which is to say that both of them should have been sorted into the uber-secret fifth house of Hogwarts: Retardenass, founded by Remedialus Retardenass (who had been contracted to build the gameskeeper's hut) while the other four founders were taking tea in the half-finished Great Hall.

Pure Win, apart from the typo.

 

* musing *
Harry really WAS a good fit for Hufflepuff. AD's policies (whether he was a manipulative arse or blindly trusting in the essential altruism of the species,) did an EXCELLENT job of producing a child who would cling pathetically to his friends despite public betrayal and abandonment, willingly throw himself into the fire, and avoid any sort of reward or adulation. I would call him humble, if it wasn't so very clear that he's actually suffering from a near-psychotic lack of self-value.

From what I remember of Cedric Diggory, he IS the finest example of what a 'Puff could be, and it's a damn shame that JKR treated him as a mere cardboard cutout. If they had been closer in age, or if Harry had met Diggory on the train, I suspect that our young hero would have become an entirely different person. A person, in fact, that would have been FAR less easily used by Dumbledore. I can see Sprout savaging Snape after Harry went to her to explain how he managed to lose points on Day 1.

For that matter, am I the ONLY one who looks back at the Sorting, and wonders what happened to the boy with ambition, the one who would have been great in Slytherin?

 

He became Lord Voldemort?

Seriously though, the sorting is a joke, Draco Malfoy became a Slytherin before the hat had really touched his head, he's about as ambitious as a leech.

 

The Hat just puts you where you want to go.

Personally I'm more interested in why Hermione got sorted into Gryffindor when Ravenclaw would have been a far better match. Gryffindor "bravery" seems little more than extroversion, and in fanfiction a tendency to being the "popular" kids (not to mention a tendency to being stupid).

Really, the whole thing is fucked up. Loyalty? Ambition? Bravery? Intelligence? Just do what us weak-as-piss muggles do and sort your students on the basis of their last name.

 

No, the reason Draco was sorted into Slytherin is because of the annual Board meeting just before term starts.

Lucius Malfoy bribes/threatens/whines like a little girl to get the Hat to sort his little spawn into Slytherin.

The Hat agrees, but doesn't truly sort him, as in doesn't touch his head.

(Note: Bullshit ahead)
As the Hogwarts rules state all incoming students mut try on the Sorting Hat to discover their placements, Draco isn't actually a member of Hogwarts, and so, can be safely chucked out at any time by any decent lawyer (or Hermione, getting her rocks off on reading 'Hogwarts; A History' again).

 

I always assumed the hat used bravery and all that as a cover up. He really figured out what you're favourtire colour was and chucked you there. Hence the Weasleys. Malfoy has silverish hair so the hat didn't even need to read his mind, he just looked at his head.

My logic is undeniable

 

Oh My God!

You're right!

But, what about Harry? Green eyes remember?

On the other hand, if we believe Rowling, he has a red hair fetish, so that's the reason the hat was so torn.

It all makes sense now...

 

About Harry's sorting, JKR blatantly lied to us, or at least changed her mind about Harry's character after the first book. In his sorting the hat mentions his ambition and desire to prove himself, but he actually shows a remarkable lack of ambition (at least as it applies to his skills in magic, and knowledge of the magical world).

JKR basically fucked Harry's character from the start with a giant purple dildo. Harry, when he found out about the magical world, should have been like Hermione, eager to find out everything about the magical world, and to learn everything he could about magic. He should have been ambitious, clever, thirsty for knowledge, accepting of others as he has been the subject of discrimination (which he isn't in canon, as he goes along with Ron's ideas of Gryffindor superiority and that Slytherin's are just "slimy snakes", and doesn't give them the time of day), instead of the apathetic, weak willed, easily manipulated, short sighted, lack of ambition/cleverness/desire for knowledge and education, pathetic wizard he is in canon.

edit: I attribute a lot of canon!Harry's character to Ron's bad influence. If Harry had become friends with Hermione instead of Ron from the start, he might have become a clever, ambitious, accepting, knowledgable wizard instead of the pathetic excuse he is in canon with going along with Ron about everything, playing chess and quidditch instead of studying and bettering himself, and not talking to anyone outside his extremely small circle of friends instead of actively making friends from other houses. It's all fucking Ron's (and to a lesser extent, the Weasley's) fault. Or rather it's JKR's infatuation with the Weasley's which is at fault.

Basically, fuck Ron and the Weasley's for making Harry into a little bitch and destroying his potential.

 

I'm sorry, but if I was introduced to a society of people who already knew me and treated me like a god, I would not be paticularly interested in knowing anything about them or their world. I would flee.

 

Especially after the stunts that Skeeter pulled. I'd seriously consider leaving the country as soon as I can wriggle off Dumbledore's hooks.

 

I'd score all the free pussy and gold I could, THEN flee.

 

Fuck that. Lord it up Lockhart style.

 

I believe the sorting and the houses in general have failed due to JKR's comic book good vs. evil writing.

The Slytherins are absolute evil and there is no way they may shine, show ambition and perform adequately up to their tasks. They must simply sprout off quasi racist remarks. Racism is reviled nowadays so that shows us simpletons how evil Slytherins are. Of course they must also be arrogant, cold and aloof, since that stands out rather well against the Weasley village JKR is so found off. On one hand we have the Malfoy family, wealthy beyond belief, arrogant, aloof and cold. Evil bastards they are. The other hand we have the welcoming, warm, dirt-poor Weasleys. And since poverty is a virtue by some norms they are the kind, delightful family that would have worked wonders in some strange family film such as Beethoven.

Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws are ignored for the simple reason that they would add shade of greys in a black and white world. JKR knows of our limited ability to understand complicated concepts such as good and evil and in her divine glory keeps it simple. Gryffindor bad, Slytherin good. All you need is divine luck; Everyone should aspire to become a Weasley breeder/Give their seed to Weasleys; Malfoys are wretches and must be shown as weak since evil cannot possibly be good at anything.

I hate that simple crap. Some may say I fall in the other extreme, showing the traditional evil side as far more powerful than the good, but this has gone too far. The first books had some measure of neutrality that I enjoyed, but by book 5 it went to hell. Pettigrew was a betraying Gryffindor, but that little tiny concept was forgotten by JKR herself it seems. Soon, in a delightful interview we will probably find out that Peter was actually sorted into Slytherin, but he managed to sneak into Gryffindor due to Voldemort confounding the sorting hat. Because he was born evil, you know?

EDIT: Well several posts have sprouted off while I was typing my criticism.

I completely agree. Hermione, despite her non-wizarding origins, I must concede is a useful friend for Harry to have. She drives him towards bettering himself, helping his seeming lack of ambition. The hat was probably paid off by the Potter founder to laud every single one of his offspring, for canon Harry has as much ambition as Ginny is not interested in the Potter fortune. JKR seems to be obsessed with the Weasleys as much as fanfic writers are obsessed with their Mary-sue OCs. In fact if I where to make a comparison, she is as obssesed about those red headed plebs as Tara (author of "My immortal" for those who are fortunate to not have seen it) is with Enoby, Ebony, Eonby, or whatever her name was.

Every single character that is important ends up with a Weasley. Fleur marries scared, idiotic Bill; Hermione marries the rodent and Harry ends up with the whore. I am surprised Cho Chang didn't marry Charlie Weasley. It will probably be rectified in an interview for our patience.

EDIT2: As regards to the original topic, I disagree with your assessment. Ron Weasley shows no ambition whatsoever. He wants to succeed, that is true, but does nothing towards it. He fails at school, fails with the girls, until JKR takes pity on him and hands him Hermione, spends half his time moaning about how Harry is better. The other half is spent eating and trying to improve his pathetic Quidditch skills. The broom he has is no excuse; the keeper merely circles the hoops and catches the Quaffle. No speed or powerful broom needed there. The man is a failure in everything. He should not have become an Auror, he should have continued to deform the couch at the Burrow and eat Mollywobbles' cooking.

 

I've always wondered how long it took you to type your posts Methene. On the whole Good vs Evil thing, I think that Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are key in showing JKR where to stick the black and white philosophy of hers.

I agree, they are the shades of grey that Rowling conviniently left out. The way I see it, there can never possibly be any 'sorting' of people into four categories. You have people who are polar opposites to the houses whose common room serves them. Neville wasn't brave when he was sorted. Does this mean a bit of singing cloth can predict the future?

Fred and George were more slytherin than anything else I thought. Harry a puff. Hermione a Ravenclaw. Ron a 'that part of the astronomy tower that's a little too far off the edge'. Ginslut was Slytherin, poisoning Harry ewith some kind of attraction magic obviously.

I dunno. It's stupid.

*turns around and sulks*

Obvious path to choose.