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Jenkins' Challenge #2: The Chamber of Secrets

Discussion in 'Challenges' started by Jenkins, Apr 1, 2008.

  1. Reyhkt

    Reyhkt Groundskeeper

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    QFT. I'm sorry to say but Canon Harry is definitely one of the worst characters in the HP universe in my mind. I lol'd when I found out that he didn't realize that there existed schools outside of Hogwarts until GOF. Or different ministries of magic for that matter. Or rather a whole fucking magical world that exists outside of the United Kingdom.

    While Harry may maintain a mature facade. He has if I were to guess an IQ of around 60-65. I realize you may think I'm joking, but please bear with me while I explain, for I am completely serious. This is proven when he only learns about ten spells over the course of the seven books.

    When he sits on his ass and does nothing while Voldemort's trying to kill him. That he doesn't know a thing about the magical world. It's proven when he doesn't show any interest in his inheritance, when the Potters were shown to be a rich family.

    When he decides to rescue Sirius, and forgets about contacting him with the mirror that Sirius gave him. Also just being plain retarded is all. So while he may be brave, his intelligence is perhaps no different then Crabbe or Goyle. Even Ron is more intelligent, for at least he's good at chess.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2008
  2. rededison

    rededison Second Year

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    I'll have to disagree strongly with those two points, at least.

    It's fairly significant in fanfiction, but where in canon does it state that the Potters are a rich family? If it ever did, I missed it.

    And since when does being good at chess equal intelligence? You've touched on a major fanfiction pet peeve of mine - chess prowess does not a genius make. It doesn't represent some hidden brilliance or the ability to plan war strategies. Ron is an idiot - being good at chess doesn't change that.
     
  3. Reyhkt

    Reyhkt Groundskeeper

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    I think Hagrid says it though I can't be sure. However it is stated that Harry has only earned a trust fund. There is considerable money in his vault, so it is natural to assume that there is more in the family vault. Either way, Harry should check his inheritance and account balance whether if he is rich or not. Also while chess certainly doesn't make you smart. If Ron is good at it, then it shows that he can plan ahead. Something which Harry obviously cannot do. Though yes, I agree Ron is a complete and utter moron. Which only goes to show how much of a retard Harry is, as he is clearly behind Ron.
     
  4. rededison

    rededison Second Year

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    I assumed that by trust vault they were stating that the assets of Lily and James Potter had been placed in trust, and that it meant some trustee was managing it for Harry. It's what a trust account for an orphan usually is, after all. There's no mention of a Potter family vault in canon, although it's a fairly popular thing to do in fanfiction.

    Also, it was stated that the trust vault held a considerable amount of money, but look at it this way: he's an orphan who's never had anything. Assuming James and/or Lily held a steady job for even a few years before they died, they probably left Harry a decent amount of gold. Exchange rates aside, the normal wages of any educated adult are going to seem like a fortune to an orphan who's never even had new clothes.

    There are lots of reasons that canon Harry is an idiot, but that isn't one of them.
     
  5. Muttering Condolences

    Muttering Condolences Card Captored and buttsecksed

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    Well, Harry's trust fund vault is described as having 'mountains of gold, columns of silvers, and stacks of bronze". Given that a Hit Wizard makes about 700 galleons a month, and Charlie makes significantly less than that taming dragons, and a clerk at the book store makes a pittance, Harry is sitting on a nice fortune.
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2008
  6. Tehan

    Tehan Avatar of Khorne DLP Supporter

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    When you're an orphan that's lived in enforced poverty, doesn't take much gold to make a mountain.

    And the reason most of us like the Harry Potter fandom is the potential Harry has to become great. The reason most of us hate canon in general and the last two books in particular is because none of that potential is realized. Ron, on the other hand, has no potential, except the potential to marry some promising young lass and turn her into yet another Weasley brood sow.
     
  7. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Quoted for hilarious truth.

    I don't mind giving Harry a lot of money in a fic, as long as he doesn't suddenly transform into Duke Potter-Black-Gryffindor-Ravenclaw-Slytherin-Hufflepuff-Merlin-jackson-Megatron, then it's okay by me.
     
  8. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Now come on. That is as original a plot bunny as one can get.
     
  9. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Harry Potter, half man, half wizard, half machine.

    James Potter? Never existed. Severus Snape? Get a life fangirls.

    July 2009, the heir of Megatron arises.

    Harrytron and the sparkplugs of doom
     
  10. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

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    http://fc04.devianta******/fs16/f/2007/197/2/c/POTTARDISBOT_by_slightlytwisted.jpg

    You know you love it, bitches.
     
  11. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I was wondering how long it would take for you to whip that out.;)
     
  12. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Meh, I have that picture saved on my computer. Hell it's on my myspace 'People I'd like to meet'. It's a fucking sweet picture. Harry would make an awesome Decepticon.
     
  13. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Can you imagine the fangirls though? Harrytron/Ironhide slash. *shudders*
     
  14. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

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    Hmm. This might seem an insane idea, but.... Harry Potter/The Six Million Dollar Man?

    Essentially, Harry is torn several new assholes in some battle against Voldemort, and is taken to some Muggle Military installation. Cue the "We can fix him!" and Harry's a fucking cyborg.
     
  15. Big D on a Diet

    Big D on a Diet Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Bah! I kicked that one around forever ago. Still haven't bothered writing it though.

    Someone go give me a HP/Transformers challenge on TGYH.
     
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