Okay, first of all, Harry has a fucking dojo.

Just what?

 

I don't know, I found that bit awesome . Goes back to what Sesc said about detail in world-building - loved the crowing rooster for the same reason.

Could've done without calling it dojo, though.

 

(I have not read the full thing to the end, as I have stopped mid-way at about Ch12)

First off, the writing is pretty solid, barring the occasional odd bit of description of what the character is doing in the middle of dialogue - "Then we'll 'see what the girls are up to' (quote signs with fingers), and we'll all say our good-byes and thank-you so much." I believe that the author has written some great imagery and that he/she can write action scenes reasonably well.

I like the air of mystery at the beginning and the first encounter you get with Greengrass, even though that particular scene may have included the overused 'Harry finds out he has all these moneys and marriage contracts to all these hot girls from the goblins' trope.

Daphne is presented as this possible femme-fatale and a tough nut that Harry will eventually have to crack. I know that this version of Daphne was also used in a lot of different fics, but I have always enjoyed this version of Daphne and so I was quite happy to read on.

Unfortunately though, the longer the fic goes on the more I dread 'soul-bonds' and things similar to it - and I was not disappointed. The characters quickly became enamored with each other after one conversation, Harry instantly thinking about how he is suddenly extremely attached to this woman he has never seen before and Daphne being, well, a tsundere (can't really think of a better word) for two chapters before completely melting into Lord Potter's arms. The whole Greengrass family meetup chapter was a mess in my opinion, just not really making sense.

I say this as I'm judging this as more of a serious fic, rather than a more... casual fluff piece. If I read this expecting the latter, I'd say yeah, I guess it fits the bill quite nicely.

Overall, I'm torn whether or not this is library material or guilty pleasure. As I have an inkling that this fic may be taking itself more light-heartedly, I'll give this a 3/5. If it's to be treated as something to be actually read seriously then no, a 2/5.

+ Pretty solid writing
- Meh romance plot from what I could see

 

Harry Potter and the I'll have the garden salad and a mineral water, thank you.

No. APPALLED that this is being compared Elle!!!

Daphne is a nag. She is pleasant enough but when the mask slips - and it does, repeatedly - she is the sort of woman that will have Harry eating an Avada in 25 years because he has forgotten what meat tastes like.

The time travel subplot is janky af.

Everyone's a secret muggle fan.

Harry is literally portrayed as a combo of gay bff and a leetle boy who needs mothering.

The prose is good and the initial veneer is excellent, I got about halfway through. Then I had no time to read for 48 hours and my brain caught up. Wtf was I doing!?!?

2/5 for technical skills. Doesn't belong here though. It's ekcentricitymuse's story but without her brilliant Romilda.

 

I will take ALL THE POINTS re: Elle, tyvm.

Fuuuug making me go back through this story ;_;

The dojo. Harry wearing sweats around the house. The whole Blaise sideplot. A good chunk of the time travel (which ties back to Blaise, granted). Harry wearing a track suit. Oh yeah - AND DAPHNE EARNING TWO MUGGLE DOCTORATES.

I'm sure if I really comb through my memory will be further justified. I'm sure there are references to pop culture that are out of place. 10/10, would never doubt Vlad's intuition ever again!

 

Ahh that may be where we have different preferences of how romance is presented in a fic. Personally, the actual build up to the relationship is my cake, whereas the bit after where they get together and do stuff together is the icing.

I personally dislike how fast their relationship progress, but to each their own

 

Also, one of those doctorates is in medicine. I don’t get how people can read Harry Potter and not realize:

1) wizards know more about and are capable of healing the human body than muggles could ever imagine. Muggle medicine to a wizard would be like how we view blood letting today.

2) Witches and wizards are practically immune from mundane injuries so Blaise getting a “bum leg” from the muggle army that St Mungo’s can’t heal is 100% nonsense.

Also, I feel that the authors didn’t do a good job portraying Harry. Every time he talked it reminded me of a politician who tried too hard to speak diplomatically.

 

That they are, however doesn't mean you need a mundane education for it.
They use magic, further did you consider the requirements to become a medical student ? just the mathematical ones ?


I dropped the fic on the 5th or 6th chapter, it is boring.

After Daphne impolite letter to Harry, and Harry later starts to fantasize about her in #12.
If you need a pretty girl in #12 you don't need Daphne for it.
Unless there is some a throwback element to James and Lily relationship.

Further the Gringotts things was poor , especially when he learns about everything a decade later.

Furthermore if the author broke with canon-epiloge of Harry/Ginny why he kept him as head Auror ?
Someone like Harry after his first shitty 18 years, I would expect him to travel the world, spend time with his godson (who isn't mention in the first chapters I read nor Andromeda)

 

After my billionth time starting and giving up on this thing I've finally managed to slog through the whole thing in the middle of the night sleep deprived.

It's technically sound (on the most part), and in some instances, the writing does become quite pretty, but holy fucking shit it's duller than a set of unpolished gemstones. The author tries to portray some sort of pretentious mineral water-sipping high society which serves no purpose other than to tick you off with unnecessary descriptions of the exact contents and preparing methods of that one salad Harry ate that one day. The involvement of a bunch of needless muggle elements in their "high society" was also really irking, with Daphne having a bunch of muggle degrees because... reasons and that entire time travel plot involving the muggle military. Harry is somehow a magical super-talented karate man who isn't a magical super-talented karate man when it's convenient to the plot.

The romance felt really off, Daphne had that "icy exterior" that Harry broke through so they could live happily ever after or whatever, but there was absolutely no development from when they first met each other to when they somehow magically fell in love. Naturally, after the initial introduction, both of them completely lose their personalities and become what an alien analysing human behaviour thinks is normal.

The author kept bringing out subplots in between the bits where absolutely nothing happens, only to kill them off in the most unsatisfying way without any real conclusion. I get that there's supposed to be an air of mystery around everything, but I found that the mysteries were completely uninteresting, and being drawn into a plot where nothing happens in the end was a bit disappointing.

2/5 because the writing is okay and I kind of liked it.