KenderCleric’s Challenge #3: He-Who-Is-Innocent

Summery:

The magical community of Britain had rejoiced in 1991 when Harry Potter reappeared to attend Hogwarts. Now, in the year 1997 they secretly cringe in fear of his graduation. The prospect of the Boy-Who-Lived walking freely without constraints among the rest of the magical citizens horrified many. Yet, for all the terror the young man’s approaching freedom brought no one dared to utter a word or even allow the thought to play out in their mind.

Harry James Potter, a boy of only 17, inspired more fear among the general populous than Voldemort ever had.

It had begun in his first year at Hogwarts when shortly before the end of the first term the former Potions Master, Severus Snape, was found dead. Though, saying the man was simply found dead would be putting it politely. The formerly greasy haired man had been found dissected, chopped, picked, dried, and powdered in some cases into potions ingredients. His remains had been perfectly labeled and the various organs prepared properly in their various fashions. It was a grisly fate even for a man as loathed as Snape.

None had thought to connect young Harry Potter with the heinous crime. While his animosity toward the Potions Master had been of epic proportions even in just the few months they had been around one another no one would imagine it could lead to murder. The exacting and painstaking nature of the crime too seemed to make it laughable that a student would have any connection. In retrospect, however, many now accredited Snape’s death to be Potter’s first. Even if there still wasn’t any proof.

In the second term of Potter’s first year the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was revealed to be hosting the vile spirit of Voldemort. Young Harry was given the credit of stopping Voldemort and Quirrel’s attempted theft of the Sorcerer’s Stone at the end of term, but few knew of Quirrel’s fate. He had been burned to mere ash by Potter. The boy was, however, not charged with any crime but rather proclaimed a hero for preventing the Dark Lord’s return. Many now wonder about what might have truly happened that evening.

Harry’s second year has been well documented for the opening of the Chamber of Secrets by the only daughter of the Weasley family. In the short weeks after the end of the school year Lucius and Draco Malfoy were found half eaten by a large carnivorous diary and Gilderoy Lockhart was found to have had his brain literally liquefied by a tampered bottle of hair potion. Oddest of all, Lockhart’s portraits and were found to be dipped in a slow acting paint dissolvent and had to be burned as their screams of tortured pain were disturbing people.

The people Harry Potter considered annoyances and enemies were starting to drop like flies. The frustrating part was that while all the rapidly piling bodies were connected to the Boy-Who-Lived there was nothing to connect him to the crimes. He was always in the presence of other people and his wand was always clean of any possible incriminating spells. Many still considered it only a disturbing coincidence and were willing to dismiss the issue.

Potter’s third year was when people truly began to get nervous. Sirius Black had escaped Azkaban, and apparently seeking to kill Harry Potter. The Dementors were stationed around Hogwarts at the start of the year in order to stop Black from reaching his goals. Oddly, after the first night of the Fall Term the Dementors vanished. The only evidence supporting a theory beyond their simply deciding to leave was a their horrendous screams for a moment during the night.

Even Dumbledore was disturbed at the thought that the Dementors had somehow been slain. Many eyes now turned secretly on Potter as everyone knew of his bad encounter with the soul-sucking creatures on the Hogwarts Express. Speculation on his taking revenge on the dark creatures began to run rampant. Blaise Zabini especially took pleasure in loudly voicing his ideas of Potter’s guilt.

Sadly, Mr. Zabini was mauled into nearly unrecognizable shreds by a Hippogriff later in the week. Harry seemed saddened by the turn of events, but many wondered if it had more to do with concern for the fate of the creature than the boy.

At the end of the year Sirius Black was captured by a well-meaning Auror along with their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Remus Lupin. The Auror claimed the two men had been working together and had kidnapped Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger. While the three children tried to inform the man that Sirius was indeed innocent and that they had not, in fact, been kidnapped he had stunned them thus letting Peter Pettigrew escape in his animagus form.

Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge ordered Black and Lupin to be given the Dementor’s Kiss immediately, but a lack of Dementors put a halt to that plan. Instead he ordered the Aurors to take both men straight to Azkaban without trial. Sadly, when the Aurors arrived to escort the prisoners they were missing, and strangely enough so was the Hippogriff which had mauled and killed the Zabini boy.

By mid-summer between Potter’s third and fourth year Amelia Bones had been voted into the office of Minister of Magic after Fudge had been found kissed by a Dementor. Many wondered how a Dementor managed to get past the Minister’s security and into his bedroom. Many more wondered what happened to the Dementor. The Auror that had arrested Black and Lupin had been found with his wand self-casting stunners at him. Mediwizards determined the man had died after the fifth stunner, but had been hit by no less than seven hundred and eight before being found.

There could be no mistaking Potter’s connection to the crimes this time. After extensive questioning under Veritaserum, thorough checking of his wand’s spell history, and exhaustive confirmation efforts of the boys whereabouts he was proven innocent. Point in fact, the boy had managed to create a rather large bit of bad publicity for the Ministry over their baseless accusations. He had managed to be awarded a large sum of galleons for the slander he had faced.

No one believed for a second he was innocent.

Potter’s fourth year, like his second, was well documented thanks to the Tri-Wizard Tournament. The subsequent deaths of Peter Pettigrew, Walden Mcnair, Jamus Avery, Gregory Goyle Sr., Tiberius Crabbe, and Reginald Nott are still officially “unsolved”. All that is known is that Potter claimed they were among the Death Eaters who killed Cedric Diggory and arrived after the Dark Lord had been reborn. Each of the men, minus Pettigrew, had been found boiling inside cauldrons of oil in their homes. Pettigrew, disturbingly enough, was found being eaten by a Lion which had somehow gotten loose in Little Hangleton.

Harry Potter was once again awarded reparations for slander, and this time, false arrest.

The Ministry had also begun a Missing Persons search for Rita Skeeter and the Chief Editor of the Daily Prophet.

The summer between Potter’s fourth and fifth year marked the first mass-breakout from Azkaban thanks to the suspected aid of Lord Voldemort. Rumors have sense hinted that the Dementors agreed to aid Voldemort in his efforts to liberate his followers after the Dark Lord offered them protection. Protection from what was never specified in the rumors.

Potter’s fifth year at Hogwarts was mostly quiet. The Ministry was keeping an active guard against Voldemort, his newly freed Death Eaters, and though they wouldn’t admit it, Harry Potter. The Order of the Phoenix had been reformed and began to guard a prophecy locked in the Department of Mysteries. Many reported a growing strain in Potter’s friendships and relationship with Dumbledore, and most were waiting to see who would die next.

The end of the Spring Term saw the Ministry itself turned into a battlefield as Potter and a band of his friends sought to save Sirius Black. Sadly, the entire thing had been a trap for Potter by the Dark Lord. Subsequent losses caused by the battle itself included only Sirius Black. Losses attributed to Potter as after-actions of the battle included Bellatrix Lestrange, Augustus Rookwood, Rodolphus Lestrange, Rabastan Lestrange, Seamus Jugson, Antonin Dolohov, and Rodney Mulciber. The Ministry refused to release the details on any of the Death Eater’s murders other than to say, “we can’t tell you any details because once the paperwork was done we had ourselves obliviated. No one would want to live with the memory of the crime scenes.”

Potter was politely asked about his whereabouts and wand activity, but no chargers were filed.

The sixth year of Potter’s completely innocent attendance at Hogwarts saw Dumbledore commit apparent suicide by swan-diving off the Astronomy Tower. An investigation wasn’t even launched. Shortly after Dumbledore’s funeral a veritable army of Inferi shambled into the Ministry and presented a written request to be destroyed at the DMLE’s earliest convenience. No questions were asked, and no one even bothered to contact Harry.

When Potter’s seventh year rolled around many had begun to secretly place wagers on who would be the next set of victims of He-Who-Is-Innocent. Many had even managed to forget that Lord Voldemort was even still around. Until, that is, a Death Eater Raid during a Hogsmeade weekend. While no one was killed many students were injured and Harry Potter was kidnapped. The Aurors were delayed launching a search effort for the boy as many were unsure if the Death Eaters were doing them a favor or committing a crime.

The following Monday found Potter, slightly injured, waiting for rescue in the dungeons below the disused Malfoy Manor. All evidence pointed to Potter’s having been locked in the dungeon cell since shortly after his capture. The plethora of inventively slaughtered Death Eaters and a very dead Dark Lord said otherwise. Aurors were reported to have still been trying to capture or disenchant several sets of carnivorous boots, self-casting wands, and kamikaze tomes on Saturday of that same week.

Now, Potter’s seventh and final year at Hogwarts was coming to a close. The threat of the Dark Lord, as minor as it had been, was gone for good. Yet at a time when the magical population of Britain should be celebrating most were investing in good life insurance policies or properties overseas.


The Challenge:

Write a comedy/mystery fic using this summery as a general basis for the plot.

Rules:

• Harry is always in some way connected to the murders, but there is never any proof beyond motive to have committed the murders.
• The murders must be creative and somehow fitting the offense. See the method of Lucius’ death.
• The truth behind how the murders are committed should be hinted at, but not revealed until the end of the fic – think of it as a murder mystery.
• Harry is guilty of the crimes, but how he manages is up to the writer.
• This is meant to be a mix of a comedy fic and a mystery fic so keep things as light as possible.
• Since Harry is supposed to be “innocent” he should act that way.

 

That was rather amusing read. Unfortunately, this challenge suffers from two problems:

1) Harry's obvious competency contrasted with adherence to canon events. Why would someone who can butcher and bottle Severus Snape at 11 fall for all the same shit canon!Harry had fallen?

2) The fact that neither the corrupted Ministry nor Dumbledore had stopped this Harry when they started suspecting him. I mean, these are the people who'd try to expell the canon wuss for casting a patronius and who gladly sent Sirius to Azkaban without a trial. I don't see them following the procedure to the letter if they know the kid is a psycho.

But other than that, this is an amusing idea. I don't think it could work as a full chaptered fic, but if you add some more meat to this summary, you'll get a decent one-shot.

 

Maybe this Harry doesn't care to defend himself against plots against him until he's "fallen into the trap", lulled his enemies into a false sense of security and can safely dismember them.

 

Is it wrong that I was giggling uncontrollably while reading this.

This probably wouldn't work as a fully chaptered fic.

Maybe a series of short stories that deal with the offenses, the murders, and what involves Harry after that?

The thing is, what happens now? All of Harry's enemies are dead.

It would be hilarious if he was innocent. Maybe Dobby had managed to free himself early. Then, had taken it upon himself to take care of "master" Harry Potter's problems.

An army of House Elves fighting for a clueless Harry?

 

Well as to your second point it's more a self-preservation thing. No one really wants to try and put him in Azkaban because that's pretty much a sure-fire way to be next on the list.

As to #1, well...that's part of the challenge. How did he do it? Why did he let things happen to him if he had that kind of power? Maybe it wasn't concious power? Perhaps there's some outside force influenced by Harry? Who knows.

 

This reminds me of Death Note.
That could always work, at a young age Harry may be more emotional so he would make the trade for the eyes.

For anyone who does not know Death Note...
Write a persons name and know there face, they will die. You can tell how they would die.
Eyes allow you to see a persons name if you see there face, but you loose half you remanding life.

 

I think it would be better is Harry really was innocent, and Ginny or Hermione had been behind it all, to defend his honor.

 

SmileOfTheKill: wtf?

DiaPB: LOL. That could actually be quite good as a comedy, almost of the Make a Wish variety. Harry remains innocent and niave, not realising that everyone expects to die if he gets slightly miffed at them. He goes around not knowing why people are alwys kow-towing to him, why people faint if he throws a temper tantrum. Good humour one shot IMO.

 

I watch a lot of anime, and Death Note is an anime I have seen before that could match up to this plot line. It is about a notebook, and if you write there name in they die and you can say how they die. If you give up the notebook, you forget about the notebook. That could be why Harry can't remember anything and this allows everything Kender said to happen. The anime was alright but it fits here.

 

I don't think anything is as lulzy as Make a Wish ... well, except Where in the World is Harry Potter, but that's Nonjon so it's kind of a given. (that was not kiss ass, it's truth. Nonjon is hilarious)

This would have to be made into a bunch of different one-shots, maybe even all by different authors. They could each make a scene and we could vote on who's got the best one-shot .... well, it could work.

 

I think the challenge was amusing enough all by itself. I agree that this would best be done as one-shot if it is done exactly as you said to. But if it was a 'Make A Wish' type deal then I could see it done as a novel length fic. But 'Make A Wish' has already been written, hasn't it? And it would be sort of lame to make another fic with such a similar humorous quirk. I definitely think this should be made into a one shot. You could probably take it up, KenderCleric. Just add detail and more humor around the summary and it will be a hit.