After a little bit of thinking, I'm starting to suspect that either Dumbledore or Riddle set up this plan. And, again, that Remus wasn't as entirely unwilling as Harry hopes.

 

I'd hoped that Hermione really died, but maybe she'll be killed when she gets even more annoying.

 

An 11-year-old passing out because of seeing one of his classmates being mauled to death (as far as he knew)? That's totally believable. I agree on the other points, though.

 

Actually, yes, it would have been unbelievable to have a 11 not go into shock at least at seeing a classfriend of his being mauled to death when they were both trying to escape a werewolf.

Especially as Harry only fainted once he was 'safe'.

Honestly, this Harry has much more balls than in Canon, and is more intelligent too- the problem i guess lies in him being torn between the predominent Culture, his instincts, and his Family.

If Harry wasn't as strong as he was, there would be not question and he would be 'Tougher', as he wouldn't try to think at all and never doubts himself. He just is too young to truly decide what he wants to believe.

And, yeah, i agree that there is something deeper about what happened to Remus, though i don't think someone like Umbridge could have orchestrated Hermione and Harry going to his office like that.

 

I'm wondering if anything was really "orchestrated," though, at least so far as "Lupin mauling a schoolkid" goes. Rather, I'm thinking that either Riddle or Dumbledore had a plot which, with Lupin's agreement, involved Lupin not being entirely dosed on his wolfsbane potion, and it just so happened that Harry and Hermione came 'round and completely messed everything up by interrupting things.

 

That wasn't him having more balls in Canon, but him being less psychotic and changed by dark arts and the culture (do remember exactly that you *liked* Harry using the Dark Arts on Snape, and using him as a mental prop. There is a reason why Harry is so ready to attakc him).

Also, Harry sort of did that to Draco a few times, and for a lot of purposes Snape replaces Draco in this fic.

Good thing that Hermione's complaint about Harry is justly that he is indecisive.

And Harry telling Hermione to STFU? it was often enough him being even stupider than you accuse him of being there, and him hiding his weakness...

How so? It's obvious the weaker you are, the less you actually try to think about things that could threaten you, and the less chance you can be indecisive in your trek to know who you are.

 

Could you translate for those of us not telepathically linked to your brainstem?

 

I think he means that if Harry was weak, he wouldn't question the Empire's thinking at all and just accept that muggles are worthless. It seems rather irrelevant given that the original discussion was about Harry's stupidity in confronting Snape - at the very least he should of gone to Mcgonagall or someone, his cowardice in being unable to get over his nightmares and his .. idiocy? in assuming blame for Hermione getting bitten.

Also Harry questioning the empire's thinking isn't a product of strength, its a product of his muggleborn mother trying extremely hard to point out the unjust treatment of muggles. The fact that his minimal contact with the outside world still leaves him thinking more along the empire's side if anything makes him weaker than Ron and Malfoy in my eyes.

And sure, it's all believable for an 11 year old, but its about as interesting as canon would be from Neville's POV.

 

True, Harry's not the most exciting protagonist at this stage, but there's (presumably) a way to go yet. Barging in on Snape was retarded, yes, but other than that I have no real complaints about his character. I'll be interested to see where this goes - I'd assumed that Harry and Hermione would eventually overcome their differences and BFF's, or start going out, but if she's a werewolf because of him...

 

Yes, yes he should have.

But it's in continuance with his stupidity when he cursed Snape earlier on. I just think the hints are piling up that he does everything on impulse around Snape (Harry being influenced by the dark spell he cast with Snape in his mind).

You could say he is a coward for not wanting to talk about his nightmares (though that is more of a product of society, being young and not wanting to admit you have feelings), but nightmares *aren't* something you can get over by sheer will.

He just woke up, and his PoV is slightly skewed- he could either attribute all the blame upon Hermione (she decided to go to Lupin, and then decided to help him go to Mcgonagall), or admit that it was partly his fault, which, when just after a traumatic event like this, usually go too far at the beginning.

Human nature and all that.

Maybe you forgot the little bit about AD being a neighbor who was careful in discrediting Harry's mother?

The beginning pretty much shown that Harry preferred AD to his parents (cooler and stronger, give the gifts he wants, etc).

In fact, it's hinted Lily never talked about politics in front of Harry because he talks to AD too much.

Edit: btw, this view about Harry being worse than Draco/Ron because of this is what Hermione seems to believe.

Anything *else* would be worse. Harry in Canon is much, much worse most of the time.

This Harry has balls, though he is pretty indecisive and brainwashed by AD.

He also seems to be lacking friends of his age like in Canon, and that means he does too much for Ron/Draco.

 

Its not the same as cursing Snape. Cursing Snape is like punching someone or telling them to shut the fuck up after silently enduring their taunts for a while before snapping. When he confronts Snape he has to run across the castle, which I'd assume to take 10 - 15min atleast where he should have come to his senses. I also see the impulsiveness the author is creating between Harry and Snape but the only way it would be believable for me is if the scene was set so he realised his blame for Snape during his potions class or while Snape was in the room.

I didn't forget the part about AD, but Harry has surely spent a lot more time with his family than AD. I honestly don't think its a big step for an 11 year old to realise muggles are humans and have feelings and rights too. I already said its still believable that they won't, but I prefer to read about a strong, intelligent Harry rather than an average one.

About him taking blame for Hermione being bitten. 11 year olds tend to try and shift blame from themselves generally, so its extremely unbelievable and annoying in the story for me.

As for the nightmares, I don't really care either way. They are relatively minor compared to the other stuff and in fact should probably be there. However when they are combined with everything else about Harry's character in this story it seems like wherever the author has a chance to create a stronger or more intelligent Harry he instead chooses the path of extreme faggotry.

Lily, Hermione, Riddle etc are by far more interesting characters than Harry is and I don't like that.

 

Just thought I'd bump this thread since I'm updating again.

Interested in hearing what you guys thought of the newest chapter.

 

After your post in the Abandoned Fics thread, I'd re-read all of the previous chapters last night - and discovered you'd updated today. Le Joy!

That said, while I enjoyed this latest chapter, I hadn't counted on it being the final chapter. Felt a bit rushed, tbh. Excited to read the next installment, though.

 

I agree with Blaise, I am very happy to see this back and the updated pleased me, but I really thought that the search for 'the Weapon' would continue on into the 2nd year and the fact that it was finished up in 7,000 words surprised me.

Btw, during my re-read, I noticed the foreshadowing in chapter 9 that alluded to Hermione getting bitten (along with the consequence) for the first time. ++ points for that. I'm also reminded of how much I like your Ron. In this world, he would have very easy to bash to the ground, but you've portrayed him as a kid with a bit of a swelled head, but not a menace. Congrats.

 

I was worried that the chapter would feel a little rushed, but I had done all I wanted with year 1 and wanted to bring it to a close so I could hurry up and get started on year 2.

 

I rather like it so far.

It's a little quick, but still quite readable. I assume Dumbledore left the prophecy as one of his very complicated plans. He seems to have expected Harry to find it. Though as I mentioned in the review I left on FF.net, I'm surprised he didn't bother mentioning how Riddle and Snape were trying to find it to Dumbledore earlier.