Oh hey, I'm psychic! Until 2012 then.

Still decent enough for the library and all, but damn, this update rate.

 

well for the most part i liked the character interaction with this chapter. i just thought it was too much angst. the nightmares were completely unnecessary and had nothing to do with the actual plot. to me he could have achieved the same thing by just by stating harry had a nightmare.

 

Have you ever heard of show don't tell? No. Well it's a fairly basic storytelling rule. Suffice it to say that showing a nightmare and its effects is far more powerful than stating "Harry had a nightmare."


Edit: Confused you with someone else. That being said, proper capitalization is not difficult. Use it.

 

The nightmares took up too much of the chapter. The first nightmare achieved it's purpose - showing Harry to still feel immense guilt, and to rather heavily hint that his soul is/was damaged. The second nightmare was redundant.

The rest of the material is good. Same old woes, though. Worried about any overarching plot.

 

I know what an asshole. I remember that one time my family and friends were all murdered around me during my birthday but you don't see me having nightmares or crying about it.

Edit : The nightmares, I felt, where very much needed. I'll be honest, I haven't experience any family death and I don't have much to grieve over, so I have a very outside view of the situation, but it didn't seem to me like he was grieving in any way I would expect from somebody in his situation. His two best friends, surrogate family, ex-gf, fathers best friend and one of his own, tonks, Neville, Luna, etc... all died, all at once. It's not that I find any hes done out of character of unbelievable, but I thought the author wasn't making it apparent enough how much the situation effected him. I can understand why you'd say the second nightmare was redundant, but I felt it was needed to show that it's a persisting issue.

Second Edit: It's not that I don't think Harry should "get over it". It's just I would be surprised it would happen so quickly.

 

There is no issue about Harry grieving. He should be, and he is.

The issue I'm having is that half the most recent update was nightmares. The first nightmare established what I said it established. The second only served little purpose beyond that. It didn't add anything to the first that couldn't have been accomplished by "telling" instead of "showing". (In fact, it's only saving grace was that other characters were involved (Neville, Luna)).

Given how this fic has bare traces of an overarching plot - beyond his recovery - it becomes even more apparent when there are unimportant or redundant scenes.

 

I had forgotten he had a fanfiction.net site for the story... I'd reread it a couple weeks ago and it didn't have the 2010 update on his story's site.

So far, I like it and can see it being in the library. It's aged pretty well. I wish he would do like three or chapters a year though.