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‘Quidditch Practice’ by Diviniti - NC17 (One-Shot)

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Jamven, Jan 8, 2008.

  1. Jamven

    Jamven Headmaster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Hunting Bullwinkle's assassin
    Title: ‘Quidditch Practice’
    Author: Diviniti
    Rating: NC-17
    Genre: Erotica
    DLP Category: Restricted Section
    Pairing: Harry/Angelina, Katie, and Alicia
    Status: Complete One-Shot
    Summary: One shot PWP. Harry gets laid by three hot chasers when Angelina schedules a ‘extra Quidditch practice’ with only the seeker and chasers. These wicked girls certainly do plan to ride a broomsti...
    Link: Here

    Posted because there is very little Harry/Gryffindor Chaser loving anymore (though there hasn't been much to begin with).

    As the summary says, this is a PWP One-Shot. Good way to spend a few minutes of your time. For the most part, the spelling seems to be sound, i.e I didn't notice any glaring mistakes on the first read through. Smut is decent, and the community needs more Harry/Gryffindor Chasers fics.

    4/5 Stars
     
  2. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    185
    High Score:
    3,065
    Full of own, I think.

    Of course, not the most well written thing I've read, but it's smut (with the chasers, no less).

    Fuck it.

    5/5
     
  3. The Doctor

    The Doctor Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2007
    Messages:
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    Australia
    It appears the author is living out one of his fantasies through Harry.

    I don't mind smut, as long as there's a plot behind it. There isn't here.
    I forget who said it, but "Harems are the tools of the Virgin Fanboy".

    0.5/5.
     
  4. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Location:
    Liverpool, UK
    Like The Doc said its PWP..... but its Harry/OriginalGriffChasers.... so 5/5 XD
     
  5. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Location:
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    I thought the story was well written, and rather entertaining. I didn't notice any errors, but this is still not close to a masterpiece. I give it 4/5.
     
  6. Is it me or did it read like a Penthouse forum letter? “I can’t believe it happened to me...” Then again, all PWP’s are pretty much like that.


    The author likes the word “Sexy” and its variations.

    and

    That last line made me think of Zapp Brannigan from Futurama. It made it seem like a joke. And since none of the rest of the story had that mood, I think it hurt the story.

    Pretty good, but nothing spectacular. Good to kill five minutes... err five minutes of reading I mean (get your minds out of the gutter, besides the smut wasn't that good).

    Shawn (a.k.a. cloneserpents)
     
  7. MegaDeath268

    MegaDeath268 Squib

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2008
    Messages:
    12
    lol Very nice. And a Canon!Shy!Harry, still very nicely written with a few spelling mistakes. 5/5 for me.
     
  8. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

    Joined:
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    Canada
    If I was to rate it as any other PWP I'd give it. 3/5 Not bad but nothing spectacular too.
    However, as Jamven said, Harry/Gryffindor Cahsers fics are rare these days so I`ll give it 4/5.
     
  9. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Just from looking at the quote The Doctor provided I can see it's full of tense errors.

     
  10. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran No. 4 Admin

    Joined:
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    ...Rofl. Who the hell reads smut for plot? People do it because they are horny little shits that need a way to get off or they are simply looking for lulz.

    Plot. Lol.

    What a waste of time. Look for a normal story.

    Anyway, it isn't that great. Has a bit of lulz but not all that much. The story started so sudden, as well. No build-up or anything. Just, "Harry, blah, blah, practice, blah, blah, okay?" and then they are on the field, rubbing oil into eachothers skin and fucking.

    Also, Harry seems the spend the first half the of chapter trying to get out of it. Reminds me of Jon, for god sake.

    The minor lulz was still good, though. Like the following...
    [​IMG]
     
  11. Mors

    Mors Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Somewhere they dont haet teh leet.
    Considering the first line in the summary says "one-shot PWP", whoever wanted smut with plot should've stopped reading then and there.

    Harry/Chasers smut. Girls built for speed... 3.5/5.
     
  12. malaga

    malaga Auror

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    639
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Exactly how is rubbing someone's ears saucy? Too rushed, unrealistic. 3/5
     
  13. Vesvius

    Vesvius High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2007
    Messages:
    567
    What the hell, I'll throw out my two cents.

    The word sexy is overused. It should be brought out... sparringly, to say the least. But...

    Sure, three times. Doesn't seem like a great amount. But it stuck out. In a bad way.

    In closing, anyone here remember Brazillian Pimp? This guys stuff isn't that bad, but, hell, it's not that far off either.

    1/5
     
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