Apparently the author is unfamiliar with the dimension hopping trope. This leads to question "Has she read fanfiction?"

 

That would explain a few things.

 

I don't see how that can be true. The opening is bog standard besides the whole black hole of lightning.

 

Sounds like they meant "summoned to another world" not "decided to travel to another world." That actually rules out most dimesnion travelling fics.

I got frustrated and stopped reading halfway in. So far the only character who I don't want to have a stranger hold them down and shit in their mouths is Tily. A common flaw in fanfic Harry's is that they often completely forget that he has a bit of a temper. Unfortunately, this fic has the opposite problem where he runs around angry and petulanent and is a total twat.. Frankly, I just want Voldemort to show up and kill every single one of these characters.

 

The beginning was rough I agree, if the Order had been that ruthless the war would have far different. However I do like a lot of it, well done new magic is almost always fun and the last chapter was enjoyable. Hopefully the author has found his or her stride and it will improve further as it goes.

 

I'd actually say the latest chapter started to go downhill. The author has a real problem with defining a characters behaviour by what the plot demands. The two Aurors at the end were especially arbitrary; it feels like their actions are nothing but a set up for HP to rage at an authority figure for incompetence while he was taking down a DE. Unless they're sympathisers, but the story so far hasn't instilled that level of confidence.

 

Actually I enjoyed the latest chapter which I considered quite smart from a situational perspective. As a reader you couldn't predict how it would play out. I'm not sure how you come to the conclusion that this is a setup to rant about authority figure incompetence. It looks like situational comedy to me based on a funny twist which makes sense at the moment. That kind of timing needs a certain talent.

Anyway, this story is really inconsistent so I expect the next chapter to rub me the wrong way again.

 

Yes, you could.

Because the same thing has happened thousands of times before?

Not it doesn't, and no it does not.

No nonono no NO!

It takes exactly zero talent to write something like this. I'd argue this is proof of negative talent.

 

It's one of the two likely options. We know that Harry is already in contact with Amelia Bones, and he already did rant about her incompetence (even though he was proven wrong). The aurors might rough Harry up a bit before they present him to their boss, which gives him a chance to complain later on.

Yes, there was some sitcom and all that "Accio beozar" had to cause a reaction of some kind. But if it was just about the comical factor, it could have been presented later on, outside on the street, with Harry as 'innocent bystander watching the commotion'.

The part of this chapter I actually liked was how the Death Eater dealt with Harry and the boy.

 

Somehow i'm not getting what the half dozen replies before me are about.
What i like about this chapter: It has some action.
What i dislike: The Death Eaters motivation. Even though the author clearly points out that he wanted to make the character an actual person, not a stereotype, the motivation we are given for the DE is so cliché and does not let me hope for the rest of the fic. If the author tried so hard, and still failed that's just not a good sign.

Spoiler

The DE thinks the boy 'defiled' his girl by asking her out. IF he was a real person, and a racist (essentially), then a reasonable reaction to an 'undesireable' asking out your daughter is to think she was 'besmirched', 'defiled' would only be warranted if he caught them at it in the shed. Secondly, that remark about '30 being a right time' is just SO bad, no REAL, ACTUAL fathers think that.

ps: there is a great threat on reddit today, asking people for their reactions on how they dealt with lieterally walking in on their cheating partners. If you want to see how REAL people (most of them not racists) deal with something like that, read that. Its both entertaining, heartwarming and disturbing in equal parts. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/...alked_in_on_their_so_having_sex_with/#cry7fxf

---------- Post automerged at 20:05 ---------- Previous post was at 20:03 ----------

Somehow i'm not getting what the half dozen replies before me are about.
What i like about this chapter: It has some action.
What i dislike: The Death Eaters motivation. Even though the author clearly points out that he wanted to make the character an actual person, not a stereotype, the motivation we are given for the DE is so cliché and does not let me hope for the rest of the fic. If the author tried so hard, and still failed that's just not a good sign.

Spoiler

The DE thinks the boy 'defiled' his girl by asking her out. IF he was a real person, and a racist (essentially), then a reasonable reaction to an 'undesireable' asking out your daughter is to think she was 'besmirched', 'defiled' would only be warranted if he caught them at it in the shed. Secondly, that remark about '30 being a right time' is just SO bad, no REAL, ACTUAL fathers think that.

ps: still not rating before the fic actually has the HW year starting, its sort of a benchmark for me.
pps: there is a great threat on reddit today, asking people for their reactions on how they dealt with lieterally walking in on their cheating partners. If you want to see how REAL people (most of them not racists) deal with something like that, read that. Its both entertaining, heartwarming and disturbing in equal parts. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/...alked_in_on_their_so_having_sex_with/#cry7fxf

 

You must have prophetic qualities if you predicted how the meeting would play out.

That scene has great comedy timing. Too bad you don't recognize that.

 

Too bad the comedy itself is really fucking bad.

 

I agree with most of the reviews in this thread, they've covered the negative points of this story. I'm going to side with Oz: A 3/5 because despite of its shortcomings it has been quite a while since I've enjoyed a random fic on FF.net this much.

This post doesn't really add anything to the current discussion but I still wrote it for one reason:

In my opinion the author deserves some fucking praise for what (s)he's doing with Divination. A subject that was basically ridiculed in canon. It was further trampled upon and lit on fire in fanfiction with all of the bullshit prophecies, seers, oracles and terrible Luna characterizations.

This author managed to breathe new life into that.

Even if this story was worse than it actually is I'd still follow and keep reading just to see where this is going. Plus, I kind of enjoy this Trelawney portrait.

 

This author has a real hardon for making Harry the perpetually wronged party so he can bitch and moan like a douche. The entire narrative wreaks of victimization and it only gets more and more irritating the more out of place it becomes as Harry gets what he wants. Also immediate minus points for creating an entirely new divination system and expecting me to give a fuck.
2/5

 

Only thing good about this is the divination thing but even that is horribly used aside from that your standard alternate universe fic. (2.5)3/5

 

You lied to me Minion. This is a Slave!Harry story that just happens to use dimesion hopping as a plot device to enslave Harry.

I thought of all the ways this could've been a great fic.

When he first woke up in the infirmary in Hogwarts and found out he'd been disfigured by the ritual I was hyped. I was certain that Harry was going to go Darkman on the Order of the Phoenix. Except he tried to guilt them into letting him go and failed.

So then I thought that this was Lock-Stock-And-Two-Smoking-Barrels-ish. Except that movie was about crooks that got themselves into trouble and were desperately trying to get out of it. Their failure was funny because it was all their fault. Not so here.

Maybe Dresden-ish then, but even Harry Dresden set his master on fire when he tried to enslave him.

And that is what Harry is. A slave to Dumbledore's magic and his own twisted morals. He tried to get justice through Madam Bones, who basically told him "I don't believe in human rights, unless you're a Death Eater" and basically reported him to the DOM, who are more concerned that he give them his blood than about his freedom.

The thing is, Dumbledore and his Order kidnapped Harry, tortured and disfigured him, put his friends and what little family he had left in danger, interrogated him and then enslaved him in such a way that he's under their power for at least a year. And they were willing to do all this to an innocent stranger, but not a Death Eater?

In the original series, whenever Harry was confronted by corrupt, incompetent or unconcerned authority figures, he went and did shit on his own. In Book 1, McGonagall didn't listen to his warning, so he went and saved the stone by himself. In Book 2 he tried dragging a clearly incompetent Lockhart with him and almost got obliviated for his troubles, then did shit on his own. In Book 3 the entire Ministry was shown to be corrupt and he basically had to get shit done by illegally using a timeturner. In Book 5, the only time he went with an authority figure's plan and "kept his head down" he basically got a year's worth of torture. Ect. Ect.

But he can't go do shit on his own now, because Dumbledore has him on a magical leash and threatens to summon him again. And in the next sentence he persuades him that he really is a good person. Except he's not.

So I keep expecting him to tell Bones to go fuck herself, get shit done, kill Voldemort and Dumbledore and fart in this world's general direction. Except all he ever does is rant and rave about the injustice of it all, and then gets persuaded to do the right thing and save them from Voldemort in the very next scene.

Think of the children. *snort*

Until Harry gets his head out of his ass and realize that he is the only one that even thinks about doing the right thing in that world, this story is going to continue to be an angstfest that I refuse to sludge through.

TL;DR: Harry, take Tilly and run, I'll hold them off. Except you can't run, because they got you by the balls. Then kill them all and then kill Voldemort for good measure. Except you can't kill the Order off, because they are the good guys. Except they are not. No one is. Except Tilly. Maybe.

2/5, and that single point is for the writing, not the content.

 

Harry is more of a whipping boy instead of the 'Hero' the title claims he is.

2/5

 

The end of this chapter seemed to end on an upward note. On another note im fulling expecting to for Tonks to go to Harry in a chapter or two and say "uh You probably dont want to hear this but... I'm late. Yes, that kind of late."