Wooooah. *boggles at replies*

Okay, er - why don't we just do this in order of importance?

1) The Bella on the streets issue

Can I just state for the record that these are all interesting questions, and that I'm really glad anyone's actually talking about my story at all. Now, onto this! My theory about Bella's poorness states that
a) remember the Ministry pretty much took her inheritance away? They also monitored her and her wand like woah. Because despite her being a former Death Eater and probably knowing ways to avoid detection, I doubt anyone from the Ministry would consciously send her (a self-confessed former D.E.) out into the innocent world allowing her to do those charms. Because as lax as the Ministry is on some issues (like, erm, JUSTICE), if they knew you were a Death Eater at that point and you didn't have anything but your testimony against your ex-husband, one or two other people and the son of Barty Crouch and a small, conveniently vaguely inherited pile of cash, they'd squeeze everything from you if they got the chance (which they did, and did follow up on), and would further put you under strict monitoring for dealings with Dark wizards and use of Dark magic. The Death Eaters, for all that they probably relied on magic to help them escape and so on, they were escaping from Aurors who didn't know who they were, didn't have an inkling that they had a kid and therefore a huge sore spot, etc. Basically the stakes are way higher for Bella than it might be for, say, Sirius. They, for the most part, know where she is. They know she's living with a kid she seems to like. They know no one cares about her enough to prevent them from carting her off to Azkaban, and that no one will stop them if they make up a reason and just do. I'd say that's a pretty good incentive to

b) I think Bella would probably seesaw between trying desperately to use spells and fake Muggle stuff to get on and not, because let's not forget she's still internally dealing with the whole fallout from her years as a D.E. and all the opinions that she had as one being put on the rack and questioned. That Voldemort and her beloved husband essentially screwed her would lead her to question most of what they said, did and taught her to do, and she'd probably change her mind about what was allowed for her as a person several times in a month.

c) Bella would also be afraid that if she somehow got the limiters or whatever off her wand and went under Ministry radar by being as bad to the core as she could, she'd be picked up by Malfoy or Avery or one of those D.E.'s that escaped being put away. They'd have an even easier time of catching her and doing her/Antares or just putting her under Imperius and sending her off to blatantly disregard the law and THEN going to Azkaban if she used the same methods they used, because they, having jobs and money and all that, have more access to ingredients and willing helpers to aid in Dark rituals and whatnot. So she'd make sure to stay under their radar as well, and that would necessitate doing things the legal way for the most part. Making sure she's forgotten by them would be a hard task, and would take grovelling if she had to and living in horrible Muggle places and taking crappy Muggle jobs, because even living in the slums of Knockturn would be taking a major chance. Antares is shocked by the fact that she tells Mr. Zabini something close to her real name for a very good reason - she doesn't tell anyone.

d) There were times when they were doing okay, and those were probably fueled by Bella's seesawing (above in part b) towards the slightly illegal side of things. She'd probably have done some low-level light magic to fake some credentials or something for that sowing gig she got, and would probably occasionally fake something to try to get Antares into school. But still, with her still-sketchy knowledge of Muggle doings and lurking intolerance for Muggles at all, she'd probably give up at random and return to Knockturn every few months, after trying to look and act normal and know what she was doing and so on. Faking life as a Muggle is actually pretty hard for a wizard that's got a sentence in Azkaban being dangled over their heads at every lawbreaking opportunity, that doesn't know how Muggles live, talk, and operate in general. That's why Antares is worried about how Bella would be able to cope in muggle London in the Spinner's End chapter - he knows she just barely passes, and knows that people won't give an poorer adult the benefit of the doubt like they'll give some poor little kid.

2) The Why Antares Stole A Book When He Couldn't Read issue

Like someone else said, he was going to probably sell it off if he didn't have a use for it. And haven't you ever just wanted something as a kid and only not taken it because you weren't told to steal? Sometimes kids don't have a reason for stuff they do. Enter Antares, who sees this bloody interesting new artifact in Borgin's window that seems to practically call to him - if he can steal it, he will, whether it's occured to him that he may not be able to read it very well or not. And, knowing broadly about Dark stuff as he does, it just might have some kind of legibility spell on it or something. *shrugs* I'd take it if I were him, really.

3) The Why Antares er, Is A Pussy Issue

My first impulse is to say, "Oh come on, he is NOT" and kinda in all your faces, but, as -er, I'm just not.

a) He plowed into the ground going pretty fast on a ricketty school broom as a first year on his first flight on a broom, just after overcoming his huge fear of flying by doing a dangerous dive. Go figure.

b) I don't think I was quite all there finishing off this chapter. I may eventually explain it away by saying he had some kind of spell cast on him or was just drifting in and out of sleep, but hey. A valid point, actually, since he's supposed to be all hardened and tough and whatever. Makes me wonder about the direction I'm taking this fic in in that regard, I guess. *ponders some more*

Chirpy side: Hey, look on the bright side, E. M.! It means the effort you've put into the rest of your plot isn't crap, doesn't it???

(Wonders why no one, no one, NO ONE asked anything about the Quirrel encounter.)

 

About Bellatrix and living on the street...

Sorry, but that's just partial explanation.
She and Antares are already breaking the law all the time in Knockturn Alley - stealing, pickpocketing etc...
I don't think the goverment would be more opposed to her stealing from Muggles instead other wizards.

As for tracking her wand, the way I see it, she could just as easily survive by using completely legal charms... summon someone's wallet or place muggle-reppelant charm on the doorstep of someone's home etc... Or even no wand at all - break into someone's house and apparate out if it gets tough.

Meh, I still think you might have gone overboard about freezing on the streets (heating charms?) and selling her body instead of stealing, but it doesn't matter much anyway ... it's not like magic is supposed to be logical .

About The Why Antares Stole A Book When He Couldn't Read issue

That's ok I guess, small issue anyway...

The Why Antares er, Is A Pussy Issue

That's this story's biggest downside of this story at the moment, IMO. Antares is just too much of an impulsive crybaby for the life he had been living... I mean, canon!Harry, who had been bullied his whole life and lived in a cupboard and then brainwashed to join Gryffindor is less of a coward than this kid, who's supposed to of had the guts to steal and pickpocket his entire life, save some random boy from a murderer and live in the Knockturn alley on his own... and then he arrives to Hogwarts and he's suddenly affraid of a ghost, can't keep his cool in front of a fucking Malfoy (I suppose he had hard insults like that hundred times already on the streets) and he's generally stumbling all the time.

I understand you don't want to create a perfect character, but the way you tried to do that is unrealistic and overall bad IMO. Antares's faults should have been:
- unability to listen to authority (no one but his mother has ever told him what to do)
- impatience with learning less interestung stuff, like history or theory behind herbology etc... Don't forget, he has never been in any kind of school, so he isn't used to the school way of life.
- lying, cheating at everything, stealing small stuff... etc...
He should definitely NOT be a coward and afraid of everything...

If some guy caught him stealing and he just fell down on the ground and started crying (like he did in front of the baron), he wouldn't have lasted a month in the alley.

 

My biggest problems with this story has always been the seemingly Muggle!Bella who is too stupid to conjure food, or simply find an abandon house in the muggle world and clean it up. It honestly seems like she's afraid to use magic to make her life easier, which is ridiculous considering the fact she's a fucking pureblood that has been taught to embrace magic her entire life. And Harry's charactor is way too two faced for my tastes. One minute he's being a smart ass in front of Snape, and the next he's practically crying in front of Dumbledore for being Illiterate. Coming from a kid who grew up raised by a hard ass pureblood on the streets, it makes absolutely no sense. I could overlook the whole Bella on the streets thing, but it's ridiculous how pussy Harry is.

 

I.P. made all my points. I checked this thread out, when the author posted, but frankly his excuses were lame, and seem thought out after the fact. Bellatrix's poverty was not clearly set up, and E.M. is backpedaling. Harry is just a Pussy. In EVERY sense of the word, crying, whining, etc.

Frankly, IP's sounds much more accurate and interesting. I'm done.

 

Oh, come on! Allow a little leeway!! There are faults, of course, and everyone's made very valid points, but seriously - how often do you get to read a fic that is well written, has a solid plot, is up-dated regularly, a Slytherin!Harry without slash and/nor Draco-oh-baby-baby … There are aspects I don't exactly adore, but I can live with it.

I'm still reading.

 

I just found this book and I'm about a quarter of the way through. It's really good in my opinion! This one is certainly going down on the favorites list, it's not everyday you come across a well written fic where Harry is Bella's son! I agree with razz, I mean I know this stories has some downsides, but what story doesn't?

 

It's ok. This story could have been much better if Antares' characterisation was more interesting (rude, sneaky, lying cleptoman instead of confused whipped pussy), but even like this, it's not bad.

 

Yeah, I agree, he's keyed down somewhat - Antares isn't nearly as intense as he was in the first few chapters. I'm still waiting for the thief side to resurface. That'd be interesting. From chapter seven -

 

*sighs* Why does Antares have to be rude, sneaky and all the rest of it to be interesting? :?: I'm still working closely with canon here, remember? Antares is, at most, going to be a fairly twisted reimagining of Harry. And anyway, I remember Harry as being someone with a hero complex that dislikes listening to authority, is amenable to stretching the truth and expanding definitions of good and bad to suit 'his side' and his perception of things. Harry has a temper. Harry's trust, once lost, is a hard thing to get back. It follows that all these things would be part of Antares' character too, albeit changed because of their different upbringings.

Besides all that, the reason this story is at all challenging for me is that I'm writing it as close to canon limits as it can realistically be. If not, I could probably just go off on a tangent and have Antares become a vampire at the hale old age of twelve and defeat Voldemort with the smell of his arse or something. Which, for me, is boring compared to systematically twisting canon to fit in with the story parameters I've created. Despite the fact that this fic is probably going to be years in the finishing (I'm taking it all the way to seventh year, at the very least), it's always going to be challenging and interesting for me to write because of the canon aspect.

Note that I haven't got anything against vampire fic or parody fics where Voldy is knocked flat - I enjoy reading them, but just don't enjoy the idea of taking my painstaking effort on AST and throwing it away on a resolution of events that I think is lacking. I'm writing this fic so I can purposely play with the tropes of the Slytherin!Harry genre, and so I can get some of my opinions and thoughts on various important characters out.

That said, I did just get out a new chapter. *shrugs* FF.net is wierdly behind on alerts and such right now, for some reason, so that's probably why you've gotten yours (if you've signed up for them) late. Oh, and there's sort of a spoiler competition going on on my LJ (http://e-m-pink.livejournal.com), if anyone's interested.

 

E.M. Pink wrote:

Well there you go. I'm not interested in reading another version of Canon. I own the Harry Potter books, thank you very much.

And I believe in Nurture over Nature at least to a larger degree than you do. I think that the number of inconsistencies this story has makes it un-readable to me.

For those of you who like it, have fun, and read on.

Me? I don't plan to read this fic ever again unless some major re-writes occur, so this'll probably be my last post here.

 

I stopped reading it. I CANT read a canon!Harry story, or where he is close to canon..

 

The latest chapter was rather good actually. I liked Charms class and pillow fight. Battle with the troll was fine (even with Antares once again being all cowardly and snivelly), but nothing ground-shattering. Switch with Hermione was a nice touch.

There was one very unrealistic part though - that about pureblooded families bounding magic of their prodigal children.

First of all, I don't see legal grounds for them doing that, if that girl was already adult. No one did that to Sirius when he run away to live with the Potters, right?

Second, they are somehow doing that on distance it seems, which is also unrealistic. Heh, imagine how easy could it be to defeat Voldemort if just any relative of his could cut off his magic for a few months.

And third, I don't think that bonding magic is at all possible according to the canon. Don't you think that, if someone's magic can be cut off just like that, they'd be doing it to all Azkaban prisoners and dark wizards in general? Nothing like that is hinted in any of JKR's books and interviews.

 

Story's been updated once again, other than the excessive amounts of Bellatrix/Severus it was a decent chapter.

 

I do like the chapters better from Antares (aka Harry's) POV. Bella isn't too interesting right now. I kind of want the whole story to skip ahead to fourth or fifth year too ...

 

I especially like that Harry has been raised in the wizarding world but he is not some badass that knows more then most Aurors despite being only 11 years old.

I havent read all of the story yet, I am only at the chapter when he is on the Hogwarts Express and has meet the two Slytherin boys... But so far does it appear to be a great story.

 

It occurs to me that the people who've added to this thread have some 'issues' that need sorting. One minute your complaining that Harry is too canon, then you complain about him being OOC. Is it your intention to put off all the decent authors from writing, or can you not understand that sometimes stories should challange your view of things. I have read this fic and have enjoyed it immensely, it's refreshing to read something different.
As for the issue of Bella, I presume none of you have experienced homelessness/poverty. If you had you would realise that when your homeless/poor ordinary people already treat you like scum so if working can give you a bit of pride then you do it. Harry can get away with stealing because he's a child, bella is trying to hide from the people who have already once tried to kill her.
Trauma effects people in different ways and I can understand how this would fit her personality. As for her not being mad enough, you have to remember that in canon she spent 13 yrs in Azkaban. In Dumbledores pensive she seems prideful and arrogant, not mad.
On the subject of 'Pussy'Harry, you have to take into account that at Hogwarts he's out of his depth. Harry is an eleven year old who can cope with things he understands/knows, but when tossed into a situation he doesn't know would need time to adapt. Even in canon he tends to follow Ron's lead because of he doesn't know Hogwarts/wizarding world. I would like to see any of you go from living of the streets to living in a well-to-do boarding school adapt as fast. Also unlike in canon he's not famous and doesn't have permanant status at Hogwarts (or the protection of the headmaster), his acceptence to Hogwarts is through scholarship and he would lose it if he stepped out of line(not to mention disapointing Bella whocan't afford another school). I'd also like to point out that if you had a ghost (that even in canon everyone is scared of) threatening you, you'd probably shit yourself too.
I think this is enough of my rant but please try and think before you post,
L Riddle

 

Yes, because seeing homeless people begging for money on the street is very rare... *Bitch Slap* Bottom line is, Bellatrix was a Death Eater. She has killed people. Killing muggles and stealing their house would not only be extremely easy, but it also wouldn't be a stretch at all for her charactor.

And you seem to be trying to rationalize every plot hole in this story for some reason. Hogwarts has ghosts in it, ghosts surrounded by hundreds of students and teachers, ghosts who see children every day for hundreds of years, is there one plausible reason why Harry should act like a snivilling pussy in front of them when every other kid, including the muggle borns seem to cope?

Harry grew up having it tough. He stood up to the begger who was going to kill Blaise, and yet he is certified wimp. If homeless people are so proud as you say they are, then why does he show so much weakness and generally pussyness in front of everyone?