I'm enjoying this so far. I didn't really want to rate it yet, because it's still early on, but here we are.

The writing has a few minor technical issues, as others have noted, but that's easily overlooked in a story that does other things well. The characterization is great. You can still see the echoes of the canon characters in those who time-traveled. It's also great that we see things through the POV of someone who didn't time travel. I don't think I've ever seen that before, and it adds to the intrigue.

'What happened? Why are they back? And have they made a huge mistake?' are the questions that make it interesting. There are hints about an apocalyptic future, but we don't know any details. There's a mission with multiple players, but it might already be messed up. Are Harry and Draco friends, reluctant allies, or borderline enemies? Plus Luna seems pissed at everyone, so is the mission itself a mistake?

Right now the story is really great at building suspense, which is obviously a good thing for a horror story. Ultimately it will stand or fall on the big reveal. My only suggestion is that we continue to see things through Hermione's POV. If she serves as a stand-in for the reader, that gives us a layer of both objectivity and confusion that keeps things interesting.

4/5 so far. Good stuff.

 

I've found this excellent so far. The alternate POV is really what makes this fic exceptional- It's fascinating to read what is something of a timeworn cliche in such a new way. Whereas most time travel fics establish the future before returning to the past, this one leaves you in the dark about the future Harry and Draco come from. That's what makes this fic so captivating: we, like Hermione, don't understand what is really going on. The questions you have push you to keep reading.

Harry is clearly a very different person from canon, but I found other character's reactions to the new Harry realistic and well written. There's some confusion, but Hermione (and perhaps Luna- her actions cause fresh questions) is the only one who is truly bothered by the change (for now at least). I'm interested to see how long Harry and Draco will be able continue their plans without discovery. It seems like their plans are already beginning to fall apart, but we will see.

Overall I found this excellent and really captivating. The use of Hermione's POV is a clever twist on a cliche, and makes for an intriguing read.
4/5

 

Wow, I've gotta say this really caught me by surprise. I mean seriously, you've done so many things here that I just loved.

A story tagged as "third-year, Hermione-centric, time travel" on the surface level seems like something that's just not for me at all. But then I started reading and you came out of the gate throwing haymakers.

As others have said, I find it so incredibly refreshing to read a Peggy Sue fic where the POV character is not the Peggy Sue. Also, I think you've struck the perfect balance for me where you're keeping a lot of information secret, but letting just enough slip so that the story remains interesting, the narrative moves forward, but the suspense is still there.

That first experience of reading it, where my thought process went: what's wrong with Harry>>>Harry's a time traveler>>>wait, Draco's a time traveler>>>and now Luna>>>and also maybe Neville? (I feel like he seems much more calm and self assured here. Is it simply the influence of having friends? Am I just barking up the wrong tree? Maybe. Can't wait to read and find out)

I appreciate how you've characterized Harry. He's obviously more powerful, but within him there's so much sadness and regret. The fact that he can't even cast his Patronus, possibly his crowning magical achievement in Canon, is so emblematic of this. I can only imagine what a lifetime of "wrong moral decisions for the right reasons" would do to a person's psyche. Using Legilimency and then Obliviating Hermione is one of these hard choices, and you really made me feel both Hermione's pain and betrayal and Harry's regret in that scene.

The way you've described magic is very cool. Harry v. Luna is a great description of wizards dueling in a more dynamic way than simply batting flashing lights back and forth.

I'm rambling, but I feel like I could go on and on. The dialogue is great, the fact that the characters have agency is great, Harry's plan to expose Wormtail was very clever, and the fact that Ron is horrified because he knows Peter watched him jackin' it is superb.

So yeah, summary: great POV gimmick that makes the time travel feel fresh, engaging writing, mature story without being completely devoid of humor, excellent characterization. I think I rate it 4/5 for simply because it's still short. I don't know how lengthy you expect this to be, but keep on with this quality and it's an easy 5/5. No question. Love it.