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Abandoned Beyond Grave Peril by Random_Shinobi - R - Dresden Files

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Shezza, Nov 21, 2007.

  1. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

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    Title: Beyond Grave Peril
    Author: Random_Shinobi
    Rating: R
    Genre: Fantasy/Crossover
    DLP Category: Alternates
    Pairing: Unknown
    Chapters: 10
    Words: 58,734
    Updated: August 6, 2010
    Published: March 23, 2008
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: An accident sends Harry Potter into another world and soon his talents are needed more than ever before. The question is not whether he can win, but can he survive? [HP/Dresden Files crossover]

    Link: http://www.ficwad.com/story/82414
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4149894/1/Beyond-Grave-Peril

    Only one chapter so far, but it's very well written and full of action. Give it a whirl and see what you think. As for me, I'll give it a 5/5


    Checked by Minion, January 5, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2013
  2. Robo Jesus

    Robo Jesus High Inquisitor

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    Too little for me to accurately rate it yet. The first battle scene was pretty well done, but a single battle scene alone does not a story make. Unless it's a one shot.:p

    Anyways, I'll wait until the second chapter at least before I rate this.
     
  3. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    I am torn on this. But before I give an opinion of the story I must add this

    STOP WITH THE BLOODY CROSSOVERS AND WRITE ONE FANDOM DAMN IT!

    That said, this is iffy.

    Dialog is ... Cliche at times and..... mechanical:


    And one last Issue I have:

    What does he expect the wards to do? O HAY! SUM1 USED UNFORGIVABLES!

    As I understand it from canon, as well, there are no real wards that detect solitary spells, else the ministry would be using them.

    As I said, iffy at best, But we'll wait and see for future chapters. One alone isnt enough to rate it, but its sliding to a 2 or 3 as it is.
     
  4. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    People usually do crossovers when one fandom alone isn't interesting enough. Harry Potter or Dresden Files, I can't tell in this case.
     
  5. Random Shinobi

    Random Shinobi Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    What's wrong with crossovers, may I ask? If you don't like them, don't read them. And for the record, I must say that this is my first crossover ever.

    About the dialogue, well, there was no dialogue – only two very short monologues. And considering the state of the speakers it comes as no surprise that they didn't say anything witty. Besides, as English is not my native language my writing will always lack some fluency. It cannot be helped except by writing more...

    I find it amusing that you complain about wards that have absolutely no relevancy to the storyline. It may not be strictly canon but canon is not always same as good – think about H/G.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2007
  6. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    I certainly don't have a problem with crossovers. Shezza's Denarian series has inspired a healthy appetite for HP/DF crossovers in me, at least.

    I was just afraid it was a Harry Potter / Naruto crossover, looking at your penname. Glad to find it wasn't. Those crossovers are invariably uninteresting.

    It is pretty well-written, but there were some awkward wording. "The world kept spinning interestingly around him" and minor mistakes(s) such as in "piercing pain into his brains".

    Hope you update soon.
     
  7. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Its not you, personally. I dislike crossovers on principle.

    Fascinating, really. But, in fan fiction, I have this thing about limits and what not. Everything has to have a check and balance system. And while canon may leave a lot to be lacking, it did set at least a basic set of limits for certain aspects of magic.

     
  8. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    W-w-w-was that a rhetorical question? :D

    Well, that makes more sense. Another reason if some sharp person notices some subtle connection between the fandoms.
     
  9. Helltanz98

    Helltanz98 Professor

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    Though I prefer Shezza's Dresden Files cross since I found it this one is a pretty decent read.
    Ciao.
     
  10. BlitzkriegAngel

    BlitzkriegAngel Vayash Moru DLP Supporter

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    its decent enough for now.

    3/5
     
  11. Neo2b

    Neo2b First Year

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    It's way too early to rate this story, why rate a fic that only has one chapter?
     
  12. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

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    Heh, it IS too early to rate, but it is excellent so far, I'll definitely be keeping up with this one.
     
  13. PsyckoSama

    PsyckoSama Groundskeeper

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    Ignore him. He's just not awesome enough to write crossovers... :p
     
  14. Samuel Black

    Samuel Black Minister of Magic

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    Wh-what? Did you just say what I think you said?

    You did. You fucking did. Wow.

    You have no idea of how good of a writer Vash is, do you?
     
  15. PsyckoSama

    PsyckoSama Groundskeeper

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    I've read most of his stuff. Its decent, but there's no reason to be all on his dick about it. Really, he's kinda formulaic.
     
  16. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    That dick you refer to has been in places you could only have nightmares about.
     
  17. Snarf

    Snarf Squanchin' Party Bro! Prestige DLP Supporter

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    This little fight over the wonderment of Vash's dick and how it pertains to Samuel Black is cute and all, but let's get back to the story, shall we?

    I, personally, enjoyed this story a lot. Unlike Vash, who's opinion is his own, I enjoy crossovers more then I enjoy a single universe. This is usually because single-universe genres become pretty textbook. On topic, though, I enjoyed the small bits of characterization and your battle scenes were pretty good. Even so, stuff was a little choppy and your character dialogue seems very .. comic book.
     
  18. carl

    carl Slug Club Member

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    Anyone found a FF.net link? As ficwad has a bad habit of going to the shits quite often though haven't seen it do it for a few weeks.
     
  19. LT2000

    LT2000 Alchemist

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    Only if you have nightmares about little girls.
     
  20. PsyckoSama

    PsyckoSama Groundskeeper

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    And farm animals.