Black Vengeance-1 by maidros - T

Title: Black Vengeance-1
Author: maidros
Rating: Pg-13
Genre: Action/Adventure
DLP Category: Independent
Pairing: Harry/Hermione or Harry/Cho (author is unsure at this point)
Status: Wip
Summary: After the Death of Sirius Black, Harry has problems with trusting people in general, and Dumbledore in particular. He also realized that he cannot do it alone against Voldemort. However, allies are often found in the most unlikely places, and when some Death Eaters trying to escape the Dark Lord make contact with him, he learns some surprising and disturbing truths regarding his own history and the history of his close friends, and supposed enemies. Can he uncover the truth behind why he had to be kept away from the magical world for ten years after his parents death, and how it affected other families? The story is AU, with the HBP and for most part, follows the canon from the first five books, i.e., from PS to OotP. Warning: The story contains a very manipulative and ends-justifies-the-means Dumbledore.

Link:http://www.ficwad.com/viewstory.php?sid=44447

 

For Some reason this just screams redeemed!Draco at me but I'll give it a shot and review after I'm done.

 

Interesting I guess, but with only one chapter done I can't say much.

 

Dialogue is horrible and unrealistic. Daphne and Nott 'enlightening' Harry came out of nowhere. Just not a good start, really, 2/5.

 

It has potential, but its only a prologue so far. Ill say something more definitive once there is something to really say anything about.

 

Only one chapter so far, and it does show some promise as far as the idea of the story goes. However, the dialouge is horrendous and he/she keeps using all these exclamations (Oh! Aha! that sort of thing) and that is driving me nuts. Maybe it will get better, but I'm not holding my breath. 2/5

 

It was good enough to hook my interest, and I will continue to follow it, assuming it continues.

 

it is not very promising with daphne and nott coming out of nowhere. i will review more throughly when i see more of it. for now 2.5/5

 

Every story has potential. It just doen't mean that its all good potential.

 

Well, the second chapter is out. It's a bit better than the first chapter, but the main problem with it is still the dialouge. There is also still the problem of Daphne and Theodore coming out of nowhere, but that could perhapes be explained later in the story. It remaines at 2/5.

 

MERGED two duplicate threads into one. That's why the first ten posts seem independent of the rest of these. -nonjon
_______

Title: Black Vengeance
Author: Maidros78
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
DLP Category: Independents
Pairing: HP/HG
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: After Sirius' death, Harry has problems trusting people, especially Dumbledore. When some Death Eaters trying to evade Voldemort make contact, he learns curious truths. Can he uncover why he was given to Dursleys? after OotP, AU, manipulative Dumbledore
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3383179/1/Black_Vengeance

A nice Independent harry story well worth reading it is 16 chapters long
with a decent update rate 5/5

 

I could have sworn this was posted on here before......

 

you might be think of Black Ascension by Omni Black. this story was published on 2-8-07

 

Headbanger, if you scroll to the bottom of the page, you will see this.

Black Vengeance-1 by maidros - T The-Hyphenated-One The Trash Bin 9 01-27-2007 12:25 AM

It's been trashbinned. It isn't your fault, as the list of deleted links and rejected fics wasn't updated to include this fic.

 

Good to know I am not taking crazy pills. Anyone have some?

 

Ya, I remember this being posted before...it bored me and I don't remember why.

 

My bad it was not on the lists.

 

Interesting - I had not noticed that someone had suggested my story on this board. All in all, if I were writing now, I would make a few changes at the beginning of the story - although I believe that the plot has some novelty in it. IP82 helped me see the problems in the early part of the story (thanks, IP82). Anyways, if you have criticisms, by all means go ahead and I will try to answer any comments.

Thanks for suggesting the story, by the way..
Regards,
Maidros

 

Your comment about IP helping you worked as you intended and I started reading, but I couldn't get past 1st chapter.
I stopped at

Just that it total fail, even if IP helped, I won't continue reading

 

Er, that sounded a mite harsh. But I do agree with it...

The only issue I had with it was that Daphne + Nott came out of nowhere. Harry's enlightenment with the whole Slytherin /= bad is just painful to read. It would have been bearable if it was more subtle, and if it took convincing to sway his viewpoint.