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Complete Bungle in the Jungle: A Harry Potter Adventure by jbern - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by jbern, Apr 13, 2006.

  1. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    Thanks for all the replies!

    Killginny - I'm glad you weren't letdown that Harry didn't bash on Ginny more, but honestly Hermione's 'betrayal' is a bit more personal as he was just getting to know Gin-Gin.

    Mr. F - I originally intended to put Dodgespell in this chapter, but am still working out the nuts and bolts of how it works. I picture it as a game that people who can't afford performance racing brooms play. The court is roughly the size of a volleyball court. All you need is a glove, your wand and someone to ward the court so the 2 "balls" - spells in play will rebound off the dueling wards along with the players. Right now I picture 5 people per side. The ball's are specialized banishing spells and the only can be caught safely using the enchanted glove. It's pretty easy to tell when someone has been hit as they are banished into the wards. Like a big hockey check. You get 1 point for a successful catch and 10 points for eliminating an opposing player. If you 'catch' the spell you must recast within 10 seconds or you lose a point to encourage speed of play. Game ends when one side is eliminated. I am trying to decide if additional spellcasting is allowed (say a team captain that stands on an elevated platform above the wards that is allowed to conjure obstacles on the opposing teams side or shoot minor hexes and jinxes).


    Niffler Lord and CGB - Thanks.

    Cowboy, Rainstorm and DarthB - glad you like my sarcastic bastard version of Harry. Bill might want to worry about Fleur, but that might just be Bill missing his girl. I put a bit of thought into how runic magic works and it seems to be paying off. When I started the story, I thought that it seems kind of stupid that no one has ever explained how wards work. For instance how do you permanently expand a room? In my system it requires a charging rune, a controller rune and the proper runic expression to adjust the size of the room with each rune enchanted to hold the magic of the expansion spell. Finally the runic expression is linked to the controlling rune and the controller is linked to the charging rune, to plug it in.

    Part of the system relies around being close to magical areas. All the prime spots are taken up by magical villages, schools and "old family" castles and manors. Hope that makes sense. Only the snakes and lizards were transfigured from the blood vine. The dragon and the wyverns were real. The ward is something I called a Serpent whistle, designed to attract and irritate any reptiles in the area. If there was a way to conjure a dragon, I think Bill would be back there trying to excavate that secret asap.

    So let me know what you think of dodgespell thus far.

    Jim
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2006
  2. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    Oops! My internet service dropped suddenly. Sorry about the double post!
     
  3. Xanatos

    Xanatos Professor

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    Another brilliant chapter, i'm glad to see Harry thinking on his feet, and actually proving he is a valuable member of the team, which hopefully the rest of the team will see also. I also liked the original spells included and the wards were fantastic, it all shows an incredibly thought out and detailed story. Well done!
     
  4. Void Sorcerer

    Void Sorcerer Groundskeeper

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    This is an incredibly well thought out story. The uniqueness of the wards and the spells is really a big turn on too the story. Keep up the good work, and update soon.
     
  5. Chilli

    Chilli Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Dodgespell sounds like fun. Hockey on brooms :) I'm trying to imagine what it would look like. I think it would be more exciting to have the captains cast additional jinxes, or conjure obstacles, especially since they have to make sure they don't impede their own teams. But too many colored beams flying around could make it difficult to follow, especially if they start bouncing off the ward. So maybe have the spells cast by the captains get absorbed by the surrounding wards if they don't hit a player, and the obstacles vanish after a second.

    How easy will it be for the captains to hit players? Granted, the players are moving, but it's in a fairly small area. It's no fun if they are just sitting ducks :) Hmm, I think I like the obstacles idea better than the jinxes.

    Chapter 8 was great. I'd been away for the weekend and couldn't wait to get back to internet access so I could read it. I liked the rune theory and the Great Broom Escape. Kwan is growing on me :)
     
  6. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    Actually, I hadn't intended for the game to be played on brooms. Though it might make it more interesting. I will think on this.

    Jim
     
  7. sirius009

    sirius009 Minister of Magic

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    Well if the games intended for people who may not be able to afford performance racing brooms why have it be played on brooms at all? I mean that just gives the person who can afford a better broom an unfair advantage..
     
  8. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    Tease for chapter 9 is up

    My tease for chapter 9 is in work by author section. Check it out and let me know if you like it. Please comment in that thread and leave this for the full version of chapter 9.

    Jim
     
  9. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    Chapter 9 is up on Ficwad

    Chapter 9 is in limited release on Ficwad, while I wait for final approval from the alpha reading crew before putting it out to the masses of ff.net. You cool guys and gals can head over there and enjoy it. Let me know what you think of Dodgespell as presented. I will eventually post a write up of the rules in my ff profile so any other author can use it in their story. I am biased, but I think it is better than quidditch.

    Here is the ficwad link, I'll edit this post to say when the full version is out.

    http://www.ficwad.com/viewstory.php?sid=25051

    Jim
     
  10. Naga's Shadow

    Naga's Shadow Seventh Year

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    As usal your work is up to its previous calliber. Dodge spell was fun but I can't see other people co-opting the game for their stories. The sexist idea was interseting, but I just saw it as Harry being a complete pussy around Hermione. Not a difference to women in general.
     
  11. Mage

    Mage Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Great new chapter, dodgespell is genius, and im kind of suprised that nobody had thought of it yet. Anyway, im looking forward to the tournament, and i think that the details you put into the game were great. Also the relationship between harry and karina is being described very relisticaly which is nice to see for a change.

    keep up the good work
     
  12. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    Chapter 9 is up on ff.net.

    Thanks for the early reviews.

    Naga's Shadow - Thank you for the compliments. Maybe no one will ever use it in their fics, though I have already had a couple of inquiries. Just trying to head a potential Cupentard off at the pass. I got a good laugh out of your opinion of Harry's sexist ways.

    Elvin) - As far as I know no one has ever concocted the game. It just seems too logical that magical folks would play a competitve dueling like game. Harry and Karina have a relationship of convienience. I am also pleased that I could have Harry touch on his abusive upbringing, but not go into full whining 'woe is me' mode that many author's are compelled to give us.

    *Winking at everyone with Terry Boot's creepy twitching eye...*

    Jim
     
  13. Fuegodefuerza

    Fuegodefuerza Minister of Magic

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    Great chapter. There is nothing that I would change about it. Dodgespell, Harry/Karina and the Harry/Reese confrontation were masterful. Well done.

    Keep it up and update soon!
     
  14. Void Sorcerer

    Void Sorcerer Groundskeeper

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    A very well written story, the game "Dodgespell" was really well written, and it sounded fun! Keep up the good work and let us have a few more chapters.
     
  15. CGB

    CGB Auror

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    Great new chapter. As Fuegodefuerza said, all scenes are fitting perfectly.
     
  16. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    Glad everyone is enjoying it. For those that are concerned about a long lasting Harry and Karina relationship, take a trip back to chapter 1 which is 5 weeks in the future from where we are right now. Here is a quote that should make you think a bit.

    "You had another girl that you were quite smitten with early in the summer, but we will cover that disaster momentarily. She doesn't count, well at least not anymore."

    Nothings ever easy for Harry is it...

    Jim
     
  17. cowboyweasel

    cowboyweasel Squib

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    Good chapter. I liked Dodgespell but at first I didn’t think that the “harasser” would work. That position would add a needed extra difficulty to the game. Having 5 on 5 and just blasting/catching away wouldn’t be that challenging to the expert levels, possibly even the intermediate levels. One question can the player only dodge the tripping hexes or could they catch them as well, using the appropriate absorbing(/reflecting?) shield.

    Harry’s favorite game is something that fits this story. You were worried about Harry coming off as a pervert when you released the work in progress, he didn’t. As for your reminder of how you foreshadowed the failure of Harry/Karina, when I read it I though that he was thinking about either Hermy Funbags or Ginny the wonderslut. Especially since the chapter ended with both of them admitting (or realizing) that they were just using each other.
     
  18. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    I dreamt I was playing Dodgespell last night. It was so bizarre. I was fighting these demonic creatures and the stakes were the life of a princess and to be king of the kingdom. Naturally she was rooting for us. I was captain of the team, but I was a muggle still, and I could only catch spells, not throw spells (because I'm still a muggle) and I had to go to my teammates to recharge my glove, which they began to resent.

    So strange...

    Any ideas what it means, or was it just random neurons firing off in my brain?
     
  19. Dark Lord Rostam

    Dark Lord Rostam Button La Famiglia Midknight

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    Did you lose? Great chapter, I haven't read the last two yet, so I had to read the whole thing again, to catch up. Great job.
     
  20. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    Chuck,

    I think it means you need to take a day off. In fact, I recommend everyone take the rest of the day off. Back to you specifically, I also recommend no mexican food past 9:30 pm, but that's just me.

    Hope you won the game. Maybe next time you'll have your own wand.

    Jim

    ps - on a side note I put the rules as I envisioned them in my ff.net profile.

    Dark Lord R - Thanks for the compliments.

    Cowboy W - It was IP, Killginny009, and Chuck (possibly explaining the dreams) that helped me out by pointing out that 2 spells in play for 10 people would be too slow, so the harasser adds needed difficulty.
     
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