LT2000 - Hermione makes her explanation next chapter. I actually think they make a better couple in cannon that Harry and Ginny, but what the hell. They always say that the booksmart people make poor real world decisions.

Dark Lord R - Sorry if my paragraphs hurt your eyes. Are you on a pc or are you downloading to palm pilot or something? Don't really know if I can change that. Either way glad you are enjoying it. Way to work through the pain!

 

I dont understand. Why dont you just post chapter 3 if you have it? building up anticipation? :?:

 

Im actually on a PC...it's just the paragraphs are huge blocks space up the sentences and it wold rock. Hope for chap 3 soon.

 

Because I have my main story To Fight the Coming Darkness. I update that every other week. This is my "writing"week to get chapter 14 done. Next week is publishing week for that story.

Basically I want to offset this story so I am putting up the finished product of one while starting to write the other.

As soon as I get chapter 14 of Darkness done I jump into writing chapter 4 of this one. The goal is for me to stay one chapter ahead, so I don't feel like I am rushed to put a chapter out and not give the people like IP82 and Killginny009 the opportunity to tell me that my draft stinks and I should fix it.

I actually couldn't stand having 3 chapters written and not publish the story. My original plan was to write 6 chapters before posting chapter 1, but I couldn't wait any more.

Hope that answers your question.
Jim

 

Can he rape Hermione in the shower? No, I'm serious. Little Mudblood whore deserves it.

 

Only you Sera, Only you....and most likely Gio...

 

I'm of the 'if you fuck with Harry Potter then you deserve to fucking die' camp. I will be THOROUGHLY disappointed if he doesn't kill Hermione and all the Weasleys and burn the Burrow to the ground by the end.

 

He could try, but then he would get caught and oblivated again. The excerpt was just a quick fantasy he was having while watching Freckle b***h and Funbags have a conversation in chapter3.

Right now Harry is more interested in escaping. You have seen it mentioned where he had a few wild magic outburst so far. One did a sizeable amount of damage to Fred and George's shop.

Sadly Harry will have a couple of months to 'cool down' before he has to speak to these people again.

In chapter 3 look for appearances by Bill, Fleur and Luna Lovegood.

Jim

 

I am of the camp myself, though I prefer psychological torture a litttle more then physical. Though now that I think of the rape in the shower thing...it appeals to me :twisted:

 

Aye! Do that rap thing! :cheers:

 

I really really enjoyed this story, mainly because it showed Harry as a flawed person, who isnt perfect (the whole getting obliviated and potion thing) and doesnt make him God like nija shadow mage harry right away, enjoyed the style of writing, its good to read something different every once in a while and cant w8 to read chapter 3 and more, keep up the good work

 

Sera has an interesting idea, but I'd rather ruin Herm's life by forcing Ron or someone else to knock her up while she's still 16. Harry can get his elsewhere, no?

It's too bad Percy wasn't around the Burrow. With all the stories where he gets Imperio'd, it make a nice little plot bunny to have Harry Imperio him.

 

god i would love to see hermoine's whole life ruined, i really hate that know-it-all bushy haired beaver teethed bitch..

 

so tell me your gonna kill ginny ron and hermione
please?

 

hey how about a little bit of *fun* first before you kill em, huh?

 

Its good. I guess I'll continue reading.


My only question is why don't they WATCH Harry drink the potion in front of them. Like hand Harry the potion, and say, "Here dear, don't forget your pain potion."


Harry won't be pleased, but he'll do it I think to avoid suspicion.

I don't know about Rape. I think it would break the tone of this piece. Harry is obviously angry and rebellious, and probably trying to assert himself. Rape is VERY violent and is more difficult to imagine doing. Its one thing to say "fuck you" to these guys, its another thing entirely to truly violate them as much as possible.

I'm also not sure about Hermione. Ron makes more sense, but your version of Hermione... What happened to the uptight girl? And doesn't she have ANY feelings of her own? Harry is not Ron, and the two are NOT interchangeable. However, she seems entirely different. I also hope you're not going with Ron, the Hothead who seems to randomly blurt things out and act like a petulant child. Canon Ron doesn't go storming off when things don't go his way, and he doesn't reveal secrets in anger. He says insensitive shit sometimes, but he's not Hagrid. When Ron gets upset he whines and complains. This is what he did in Book 4 when he got the shitty robes, and Hermione started going out with Krum. He starts to sulk. Even when Ginny started dating, he didn't REALLY blow up at her that often. Usually he'd bitch to Harry.


Anyway, I hope you update soon.

P.S. where's your site so we can read some of your other work, and post feedback earlier, so you have time to make changes?

 

They are not worthy of a quick death.:twisted: :twisted:

 

You guys are rather extreme. Of course Killginny was encouraging me to do a scenario where Harry just kills Ginny and blame it on Death Eaters. Kind of the opposite of all those Harry is framed for killing Ginny and sent to Azkaban. While I think it would definitely be popular on this site, I'm not going to go that route at least this early in the story.

Once again Harry is trying to get out of there. Sadly like the Killginny idea, the rape Hermione in the shower scene won't happen this early in the story and quite possibly not at all.

Xantos - Harry is a sarcastic 15 just about 16 year old. I have personal experience with that personality type. Your inside his mind, you hear his random thoughts. He's not perfect.

Shu - Man I thought everyone was harsh on Ginny on this site. Apparently, there are even more Hermione haters. I actually considered Percy for a possible ally in this story, but it wouldn't work. We'll see him later much later.

Killginny - your just fanning the flames aren't you?

Redye & Trident - Too soon to make any promises

Chuck - As always you are one of my most critical reviewers. The potion incident happened for the purpose of the story. Plus the Weasleys are poorly executing Dumbledore's plan that they have modified along the way. As for Hermione, you'd have to know the backstory. Unfortunately since you're in Harry's head, you don't know the backstory. Maybe you did for a brief instant before getting obliviated. Who knows. According to the journal entries Ron sulked for two straight days before completely losing it. One could make an argument that it was HOTHEAD Ron, it is also possible that since Ron knew about the love potions and Harry being somewhat manipulated he might actually be being Harry's best friend. Harry doesn't know why they shipped him off to Quidditch camp. He assumes, he could be right. He could be wrong. Its a common occurence at any age.

As for my site, I actually don't have one. IP, KG and I exchange alot of emails with drafts. Shoot me an email at jbernheimer@cox.net if you are interested.

On a final note you'll notice I am not doing the chapter summaries like I do in my other story. This is intentional. You get the information Harry gets.

Jim

 

Oh, this story definitely has its moments, a lot of very good moments.

Firstly, the manner in which you tackle the age old "wizarding racism/prejudice" with just the right amount of humor was really superb. I found myself saying "this is good" during the whole passage about Harry thinking differently about trolls. I don't think I have ever seen something as cleverly done. The end lament Harry has about doing trolls wrong for comparing crabbe and goyle to them was excellent. Very good control of language and usage of prose to link your original ideas to HP canon.

I'm really not a fan of goblins in general even when it's not the Griphook cliches, but the semi- stream of conciousness remarks comparing Harry to the goblins was very, very good. I enjoy philosophical intuitions like that so you get big points on that.

Hmm, couldn't pick out anything too interesting from ch. 2 though but I was skimming it. Still, you put in some good work and it shows. Kudos to your helpers too. Only possible thing is that this story kind of depend on being fresh (for me at least) to capture readers' attention. Think you are up for it?

 

I spread the hate equally between Ginny and Hermione, but mostly because of all the bad fanfiction that exists with one of them making Harry her bitch.

I only started disliking Ginny because of HBP, since she was more or less a null before the book came out. Hermione has been an annoyance since PS.