I actually like canon!Hermione since yes, she is an annoying bitch BUT she has always stuck by Harry. She makes a lot of mistakes but she still wants what's best for Harry. What annoys me is Fanon!Hermione since they always make her into either a bitch, or they make Harry into a bitch.

But anyways I really like this story even if the POV is a little hard to get into.

 

She ratted him out third year with Sirius's broom.

That aside, she's a little too bossy and smug for my taste. And in HBP she was really giving it to him, just because Harry did better than her.

She seems very arrogant and self righteous (SPEW), but her skills frequently aren't up to the task. (See her getting HOUSED in the Department of mysteries and her fumblings She also interferes unnecessarily. More self-righteousness? How about her pressuring Harry to "Talk to Slughorn". Or her yelling at Harry about Felix Felic AFTER she had already cast the Confundus on McClaggan. And what about how she VICIOUSLY attacked Ron with birds just because he kissed a girl and she got jealous. Would this be acceptable if Ron had attacked her, viciously (and stormed out leaving her to fend for herself)? She has two standards. And what about her lack of honesty? She didn't tell Ron or HArry about her date for the Yule ball 4th year (which ultimately led to a devastated Ron), she didn't tell ANYONE that she knew Lupin was a werewolf third year (a very dangerous choice), and she didn't tell her two "best" friends about the Time Turner.

Hermione isn't evil. But she can be vicious (Birds), and it always seems like she's trying to push, control, or manipulate people. Ron may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but at least he's upfront.

 

I agree on you with everything you say, but it seemed like she was always there for Harry (I mean how many people would have willingly helped Harry save a man she did not even know). She belives that she is helping Harry by alerting the staff when something goes wrong and she was right to keep the time turner hidden from Ron and Harry. But I agree she is bossy, and bitchy but when it comes down to it she will back Harry up.

 

MrRiddler - Thanks for the praise. I do enjoy your Veela story. You should enjoy Fleur's appearance next chapter. I am quite pleased with the story so far and am starting chapter 4 this evening. I don't mind Harry being in good with the Goblins or the Centaurs, but it shouldn't be instantaneous. The goblins shouldn't fawn all over him. As for keeping it fresh, only time and everyone's comments will tell. When I start shovelling crap, I expect you folks to call me on it.

Shuu - Glad to see someone who hates with equal opportunity. I think Ginny pretty much came out of nowhere in book 6. Honestly, I think either Luna, Hannah Abbott or Hermione would have been a better choice for JKR, but she didn't ask my opinion. The reason I tossed Hannah in there, she was defending him in CoS. Cannon Harry always strikes me as someone who remembers his supporters. I even used a variation of this in my other story.

IX - Cannon Hermione is a bit pushy. The jury is out on this particular version. You only have Harry's impressions to go on. I will say that when I write her, she always believes she is doing what is best.

Chuck - I agree with all your points on Hermione. She tries hard, but there is a reason she gets soo offended when people call her a 'bossy know it all'. The reason is the truth often hurts.

Jim

 

Marvelous. If Harry leaves without hurting anyone, he should get a humanitarian award. He should atleast have his way with one of the girls before he leaves. Pretend they screwed up the no-sex potion and made an uber-sex potion by accident, or something.

It's also refreshing to see a story where the twins aren't automatically loyal to Harry for no reason other than a bag full of galleons.

That memory charm sounds like it can give a lot of trouble. Harry should learn it. It could make his life a heck of a lot easier. At least for a little while.

 

Okay...if not rape, can he at least wreck the twins' shop to the point where they can't afford to rebuild and are forced out of business? Seriously, SOMEBODY has to be punished, right?

 

Well I do have this planned at some point:

Hi my name is Harry Potter. You might know me as the Boy Who Lived. Well when I like to 'live it up'. I do all my shopping at Zonko's. No fly by night upstarts for me. Zonko's quality pranks with a proven track record. For a great time trust Zonko's.


Sound good?

Jim

 

Eh, I'd prefer he walk into their shop in the middle of the business day and just blow everything to Hell while they watch helpless to stop him (including the twins themselves in a perfect world). Merely endorsing his competitors seems to be a bit mild given what they've done to him, and the ingratitude Fred and George have shown to the person to whom they basically owe their livelihoods. I'm just not really getting behind the vibe I'm feeling that you're not planning to have him get any real vengeance over all this. The whole 'turn the other cheek and don't talk to those big meanies anymore' just isn't doing it for me. With a violation of trust this huge, I want to see some blood and ruined lives. I honestly think him brutally and violently raping Hermione would be much less that what the little whore deserves.

 

Well, better than nothing. Yeah, I like it. Keep 'em poor!

 

Of course if they made him a partner in the business, he could essentially gift it to the owners of Zonko's. I have considered that as well. We'll see how it is when Harry gets back to England.

Jim

 

Sorry, I don't see this Harry ever turning dark and killing/raping/pillaging. Seriously, he's just an uneducated 15 year old boy, with bunch of powerful wizards and organisations after him. The last thing he needs is to commit some crime and give them leverage against him. Not to mention that what you're suggesting is seriously OOC, while this Harry is mostly in canon for now.

 

Maybe, but a guy can only take so much before he just snaps.

 

Yup, when they attacked them he defeated the others, then he tied them with metallic ropes to a wooden pole, stripped them and used a spell that gave Ron a MASSIVE...um well you know, then made him gyrate. He, then mind raped hermy, bitch slapped her, broke Ron's nose too...pretty good fight scene and humiliation. Colin took the photos.

The chapter is here to go the part do ctrl+f and look for October 15, 5:00 p.m. Hogwart’s Quidditch Pitch, it's not too bad.

 

Ooh! I have an idea that would piss them off, but not be so vicious that JBern just throws it out. Slip Hermione some of the potion they are trying to give him. Hee hee hee!

 

I like it when chracters go all Monte-Christo on their enemies.
Psychological torture until the end when he reveals himself.
I'm think I'm going to read it again now. Good story! (both Duma's and jbern's)

 

frankly, Vorlon's Harry is sadistic.

At this point, Harry ought to move on. Getting caught up in revenge would be stupid. Its fight or flight time here. Harry doesn't have the goods to fight YET. Means, he's gotta run.

Also, Jbern, How can Ron be potentially loyal, when in the first chapter (2 months later) Harry still thnks he's a traitor. That's enough time for the facts to come out and a reconciliation.

I just think Ron should be a dope who is confused and overwhelmed.

 

Well I'll leave most of the comments aside. The story will write itself and Harry will be the person he will become. IP is right about Harry not having alot going for him at the moment. He's not a super power Harry at the moment.

I actually considered DarthBill's idea. Not necessarily slipping it to Hermione directly, just mixing all the potions together. I reckon most Wizarding households have the equivalent of medicine cabinets. But you'll see why it wouldn't work when you see chapter 3.


Evil S - A well done vengance fic is a good read. That said alot of them degenerate into the reading equivalent of a bitch slapping.

Chuck - I have read Vorlon's story. His Harry is brutal. As for Ron, even though it's been 2 months. Harry hasn't exactly been exchanging owls with his friends requesting explanations. He's somewhere in the Amazon looking for a Dead Wizarding City. I expect to be caught back up to chapter 1 by somewhere around chapter 9 or 10. If I do it well enough you will see Harry maturing through these chapters. The one from chapter 1 is a jaded 16 year old. Chapter 2's version is a naive 15 year old, who is just waking up to the things around him.

Jim

 

Posted Chapter 3

I just sent chapter 4 off to my crack staff of editors, who shall tell me it is rubbish and to fix it. In the meantime, I open the floor to you folks to rip me a new one for not having Harry take all kinds of vengance. Vengance will come later. Harry is on the run. Hope you did enjoy the bit with Fleur and I am curious to see what everyone thinks of this version of Luna Lovegood.

Jim

Or maybe there will be a delay as ff.net has now become unresponsive. I just put a copy up on ficwad.com. Feel free to enjoy it there too.