Could we work on the premis that having a mortal soul could be detramental to perfoming some forms of dark magic. Assuming Morty can only split his soul in to halves (instead of eight equal pieces) he would have about 1/128 of his original soul at his desposal.

Couldn't we also say that since old Voldemort has been making himself in to a dark and soulless creature, perhaps this is the process for becoming a dementor?

Oh anyone remember the scene in the first movie when Voldemort escapes from Harry?

 

I think it is pretty necessary for his soul to be split into sevenths. 1/64 is just too damn small. Also, if you could just split your soul forever and infinity, every dark lord would have done it. I think he must have rewritten the spell to allow him to split seven ways instead of halvsies.

 

Any word on an update? Myself and I'm sure others, are dying to know what happens.

 

I've started laying out the chapter and bouncing the ideas off of the AFC crew. Now all I need is to start typing. Expect it by next Friday 4/20.

Jim

 

I'm kind of hoping to see Harry's confrontation with Luna & Dumbie and his crew.. I think it will be a great show.

 

This is one the best fics in DLP.net. And yes Nadino the Harry Dumbledore confrontation will be one for the history books. Esspecially if there is a battle.

 

I thought this story was an erotica.

Dissapointing. I feel raped, almost.



About this story - I read it anyways even though I was hunting for some bungle. The 'you' is unique, and annoying after the first few chapters. The plot was outstanding, characters were believable enough, dialogue realistic, and general description pretty darn good. Even though I quit reading after the first five chapters, I still think this merits a good 4/5 for the uniqueness of the writing style, the quantity of it, and the general feel to it. I can tell this is a good story, just not one I would enjoy.

 

Hia Jim, and all others on this form
I’ve just re read bungle and I have a few questions that I’d like to point out.

Who obliverated Harry first? And why? It would take more than Ron blowing his top and admitting his “love/like” to get FunBags to jeopardize her head girl position, so the confrontation might have more to it then she “remembers” and things might have turned ugly in which case “quidich camp” might be a euphemism for St. mungos. I see molly doing it to keep the golden 3, and wanting the switch to keep Harry close but that’s a little under handed for Arthur and the twins so I’m just musing.

What did Harry ask from Nikolai Colastos? I hope we find out before the sequel.

Dose the demon see the real future? While he dose see the alternate reality’s he is lacking in a few and isn’t quite sure in which he exists, he never mention’s Karina as a possible companion but dose the other 2 possible love interest’s. is it possible that this might lead to his downfall?

Anyway it was a good read the third time through and as I’ve abandoned “To Fight the Coming Darkness” I hope you do the same and concentrate on the other 2 story’s you’ve got going (which I love)

And as always keep the creative fluid flowing, and hope she is on the pill.

Lag

 

^^ What the hell?! I don't understand your post.

EDIT: Okay. I get it now. What the hell?! Your post is filled with typos that make it so hard too read. Anyway, don't spoil the fun by asking all these questions. We'll find the answers to them in due time. As for you, I suggest you go to the Introduction and introduce yourself.

 

I did not know that this many fics passed through DLP. It is nice to know that authors have this kind of support system to bounce out ideas or hear some reviews before hand and improve their stories.

About the story: This is one of the best I have read. It takes some time to get used to the narration because of the different perspective in which it is written it. But hell, it is awesome once you get into it. The chapters are detailed and the plot is engaging. I hope for a new update soon.

 

Chapter 22 has been sent to my beta for a final check. I hope to post it sometime today. I'll be interested to see what everyone has to say about the chapter...

Thanks for the comments, I won't tip my hand and answer any of Lagster's questions. They will have to wait for the sequel.

I'm on vacation all next week (Disney - if you all care and yes the 5yr old daughter is driving us insane...), so I probably won't get any writing done. I'll probably come right back to Bungle for the 1-2 chapter epilogue that will allow me to say I have completed my first story.

If your looking for me to jump right into the sequel, I'll probably hold off as I try to complete TFtCD and post more chapters of The Lie I've Lived. I'm also going to try and get ahead of myself before I start posting chapters of 'Turn Me Loose: A Harry Potter Adventure'.

Jim

 

Not bad. You seem to capture the mood for chapter 22 pretty well, and the fight scene ain't too bad. The only beef I have with it is that it (as well as the story as a whole) seems to lack a really memorable climax.

The whole story just feels....deflated? Nothing really catches the eye, besides the humor and the originality of the idea...


I give it a 3.5/5

 

damn good chapter.

 

"Merlin’s big ass enchanted balls..."

enough said.

 

*On his knees praying to God(not anything else)*

THANK YOU JIM
Bloody Amazing.
Beautiful.
"Merlin's big ass enchanted balls...."

I loved it. Amazing battle. Amazing chapter. Amazing everything.


Just for the record off the deep end is an amazing place for all those who would like to go.

 

For a non betaed chapter it was very good. I only found this one typo.

The first "as" isnt needed.

Ok now for the run down.

This is with out a doubt the most eagerly awaited update I've read.

Since the last mini cliffy I have been wondering how the hell you are going to take care of this guy.

I quickly ruled out animagus since it wouldn't do shit (Or so I thought).

I hoped like hell you wern't going to make Harry so uber powerful that that he could negate the field and just blast him. I also hoped you wern't going to pull a dues ex machina on us and have the statue go "well come to think of it there is a book I know "Holy magics and it uber demon slaying powers"

The fight scene was absolutly great. I usually don't like giving reviews with nothing helpful in them but I honestly can't think of much I would change here.

I was worried a few chaters back when you first mentioned the demon but it has ended up being your best fight in both you stories and probably the best I've seen. It beats out the Harry/Snape fight in TFtCD because that was more a duel when this was a battle.

The whole event had that epic quality that all final battles have. As I was reading it I thought of the final battle in LOTR when Aragorn and his army marched to fight Mordor in a hopeless fight for no other reason than that was all there was left to do.

You brought about the demons end in a fitting way with out going over board with Harrys ability.

The totum explosing/attack was a very bitter sweet moment. You just know thats the way thundercloud would have wanted it but it's sad to see a bit of him destroyed. The link to the chamber of screts was also a nice tie in to canon.

The discription of the demons magic being defencive in nature was a good way to stop it being to god like while giving of heros a chance at having a go at it.

I must say I expected hack to die in this fight. He just seemed to be totally out classed.

I'm not sure why the Patronus' did the damage they did. You said a few chapters back that they may be related to dementors but I thought that was just a throw away comment. The change in Patronus for Harry was also nice and fits in with thundercloud being his own Patronus to. I presume this means Harry is fully at peace with his animal now.

Ok a little physics nit picking. You do realise that as animals grow the size of there legs in proportion to there bodys grom at a rate of 4. Thats for every time you body mass increases by 2 your legs get bigger by 4. Thats why ants a have tiny legs for a comparitivly large body while elephants walk around on tree trunk legs. You could just say it's make but hey I want to find something to bitch about.

I'm looking foward to them finding the neco wards. I bet Bill is gonna cream himslef when he finds them. Also... THEY'RE RICH. All the gold the demon body and other shit in the city. I'm not sure if you mentioned it but how does the money get split. Does Kwan just get a fixed pay no matter what or a cut of the profits. What will they give to the dead members familys.

Also were the Goblins really plotting to screw them over or was that just The evil wizards BSing them. Even if it wasnt there agreement was to give the Goblins the shit in the vaults... well it's not in the vaults is it. Still it would probably be best to give them something to appease them.

I personally would prefer it if you passed over Harry going to see Thunderclouds family. Just have him mention he did it and it was hard ect. It doesnt need to be written.

Ok my idea for what to do next. Once they are finished in the dead city. they tell Dumbledore to meet them at a place at a certain time. Show up 15 minutes late and banish the Demons severed head at him and Moody. Harry then struts up to them jumps onto the head and says something cheesy like "This is whats happens to people who mess with me"

Ok so the fight was excellent but not the favourite part of this chpater... I LOVED Harrys will. It was fucking great. Sentamental, funny and fitting. It would be cool to see Kwans but I doubt it is relivant.

Oh one more thing. If Kwan does lose his leg I see one of several options happening. Harry makes Dumbledore make him a new one (Like Voldemort did for Wormtail), Harry makes that mafia head guy sort something out for him, He gets a peg leg like moody... boring but funny.... But the coolest idea I had was to fuse one of the Demons Claw fingers onto him as a fake leg. A demon clawed leg bounty hunter. It would freak people out be spell resistent and cool as a mofo. "Hey you stupid, I kill a mother fucking demon you think I scared of you?"

Spoiler

Ok I'm not sure if I'm looking to far into this but you said

For some reason, you shake your head. “No. Not yet. He’s still alive. Go check him out and get him to safety before that group of Inferi gets to him. I’ll keep an eye on Kwan.”

Is this just Harrys wishful thinking or is he perhaps channeling the seerer glass in the demon? Maybe because of his scare connection he can tap into it's powers since it has some of Voldemorts soul in it. Maybe he to has some of Voldemorts sould in him. A little cliche but still a good idea.

 

Probably the best chapter so far in my opinion. The fight scene was very well handled and the whole chapter was packed with lines that were just perfect.

I really enjoyed Harry's will, thirty pieces of silver indeed, and that comment about any future zombie hordes needing to live up to this standard. At least we saw the other prophecy come to a close concerning Harry. The Eagle and the Jaguar saved the day (sneaky throwing that in and letting us forget about it).

PLEASE do not send Harry back to England until AFTER he's gone to see Thundercloud's family. Yeah, Dumbles will be a royal pain in the ass, but there are some obligations that supersede all others. I think returning a fallen warrior to his people for burial comes before just about anything on that scale of social obligation and priorities.

I also vote for some form of "triumphant heroes" scene for Dumbledore and Moody. If it were me, I'd not comment about the battle at all in the journal and just give Dumbles a date and place. I wouldn't even say who survived and who fell, just that date and time. Then have Kwan and Bill come out of the jungle, Hack behind them with the severed head.

Then once Dumbledore assumes the worst and asks about Harry, The Jaguar leaps out of the jungle and lands on Hack's shoulder. Give a roar for the crowd Harry! Really put it out there "I am not a child, but a man who will not be fucked with!"

 

Man, that was awesome. Best fight scene i've read in a while. The use of deamon bone for a leg for Kwan would be cool and i can't wait to read the meeting between Harry and Dumbledore. Now i've just got to be patient and wait for he next update.

 

You are a fucking genius. Everything really came together.

 

That was a kick-ass chapter - awesome, as I already wrote in my review.

I have a few things on mind that I'm wondering and speculating about: Will Harry return to Thundercloud's tribe and accept Laura's offer (e.g. slightly motivated by guilt and of course her "gianormous" attributes )? If yes, I cannot see him not wanting to take part in his child's life, especially after Voldemort's defeat.

You mentioned in this chapter how valuable all the demon's parts (blood, flesh, bones, hide,...) are, so I was wondering, if the same applies to the remains of the Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets? After all, the venom, bones and hide should still be intact and even the flesh (and its eyes) might be salvageable, since a Basilisk is such a highly magical creature.

I'm also very curious about Harry's impeding meeting with Dumbledore (and his former friends) and sense some serious bashing ahead.

I wish you and your family lots of fun in Disney Land and look forward to the next chapters, as well as the sequel!

PS: I have been wondering about the "30 sickles" phrase and wanted to ask you, what this quote referred to. I have a few things in mind that would fit in some way, but I'm unsure.