I've always liked that version of 'Puff house that indicates that their animal was actually a wolverine.

 

Methene, that contradicts the rest of that segment of your post; you should probably correct that.

On the subject of Canon!Harry: Yeah, he was completely ruined by Ron; if it weren't for that useless sack of shit, Harry would have been a far better wizard. Hell, if he had made friends with Hermione initially (as opposed to Ron), he'd essentially be a Ravenclaw. Considering what Ravenclaw house represents, and what his challenge is...that would really be for the best. Fuck bravery, fuck chivalry. Harry has to face off against Voldemort; what he needs is some fucking knowledge, or he won't stand even the remotest chance.

In regards to the houses the characters really belong in:

Harry - Depends on who he makes friends with initially. Ron made him into a Gryffindor, Malfoy would make him a Slytherin, Hermione would make him a Ravenclaw, and there's probably someone on the train (Neville, maybe?) who would make him into a Hufflepuff.
Hermione - Ravenclaw.
Ron - Gryffindor, if only because he doesn't suit any of the other houses even remotely.
Luna - A bit of a tossup, really. She values her friends immensely (her room in DH shows this), so Hufflepuff is good for her. On the other hand, she does seek knowledge (if strange knowledge), so she does belong in Ravenclaw, also. All things considered, though, she would probably be better off in Hufflepuff.
Neville - Slytherin - See The Doctor's post below.
Ginny - Gryffindor; see Ron.
Draco - He just doesn't really belong anywhere, so he may as well go where his father wants him.

Now, I just know I'm forgetting someone, but I don't really care. This will suffice for now.

 

Neville thought he'd be a 'Puff because he was stupid.

I'd actually go against the grain and say he's a Slytherin: his greatest desire is to live up to the standard of his "hero" father. If that's not ambitious, then I'll eat the Sorting Hat.

 

Not to mention to defeat Bellatrix Lestrange. I concede that point to you completely, and as such, will edit that post to reflect this.

 

I misstyped, I swear I didn't mean it as some strange irony!

 

I figured as much. I was just pointing it out, since no one else was.