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Complete Child of the Storm by Nimbus Llewelyn - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by telecaster11, May 13, 2018.

  1. telecaster11

    telecaster11 First Year

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    Title: Child of the Storm
    Author: Nimbus Llewelyn
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Drama
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: The Alternates
    Pairings:
    Summary: Once, Thor was James Potter, New Mexico being a refinement of Odin's technique (being murdered didn't do Thor's sanity any favours). After a decade, a mostly reformed Loki restores his memories, introducing Thor's son, Harry, to new family and friends. But soon, ancient secrets emerge along with enemies both old and new as darkness rises. Harry is left with a choice: Fight or Die.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8897431/1/Child-of-the-Storm

    This is the first time I have posted a fic for review (I hope I got the format right) and I am somewhat apprehensive as to what kind of reaction it will receive. I like this fic a lot, but am not blind to it's faults. The fic's main strength is how complex and well thought out the plot is. The author works in characters from all across the Marvel Universe, Harry Potter, The Dresden Files and god only knows what else. The characters give the fic a rich, layered feel. The villains are particularly well done- they all have different motives and they coexist without actually liking each other.

    The fic starts out with a lot of happy family fluff but if you hate fluff fear not- it gets darker around chapter 21.

    On the con side, the fic has a lot of what the author calls "snark" but is really just cringey dialogue. It's not as bad as it might be but it is still takes away from the epicness of the fic. Some of the writing can be cringey too, but again not as bad as a lot of fics.

    Overall it has some bad moments but if you can get past the somewhat cliche initial premise (Thor is Harry's dad) it is a pretty good fic.
    4/5
     
  2. Mr. Merriman

    Mr. Merriman Seventh Year

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    This is a tough one to pin down. I've read it and most of the sequel, so there's enough good to keep me coming back, but this series has some serious flaws. The Thor/James thing is handled pretty awkwardly, and makes Thor's characterization pretty inconsistent. Harry's friends are mostly ditched in favor of loli!Wonder Woman, teenage Carol Danvers, Northstar, and some Asguardian OC.

    He does do a great job of weaving multiple canons together, but it rapidly stops feeling like a Harry Potter story and more like an Avengers-XMen story.
     
  3. Scott

    Scott Professor DLP Supporter

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    I tried a couple chapters and mostly skimmed and then stopped completely when Draco apologised to Harry and told him he's on no side but the winning side/his side and that the Weasley's can be useful and they have their purpose.

    The dialogue is just so forced and horrible and then Loki taking on like 4 apprentices? The weasley twins I can see, maybe.

    1/5
     
  4. Joe's Nemesis

    Joe's Nemesis High Score: 2,058 Prestige

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    At first I wasntw going to bother because the premise didntd interest me. Then, I decided I might as well since I had nothing else to read. ImI a couple of chapters into it, but already, there are so many cliches hinted at that I'm fighting to stay interested. Let's see. In no particular order: Dursleys get their comeuppance, Snape also gets (or is warned of) his, Dumbledore as the grand manipulater (or warned to not hurt Harry while doing so), Weasley twins and twinspeak alongside the Marauder-prankstercliche, Hermione recognized by an outsider for her brilliance after a single meeting, Ron as the stupid one of the bunch and the seeds of separation sown in the first couple of chapters, and an outsider fixing all of Harry's problems in a short few chapters,

    And then, there's the overwritten paragraphs upon paragraphs that open the story, which makes it sound like a freshman collleg essay whereby the writer is trying to be all grownup and intellictual in the writing and instead, it comes across as tedious dilettantism.

    EDIT: how could I forget the Gred/Forge cliche? Perhaps the most annoying one of them all.
    EDIT 2: The inability to summarize information already told several times is getting very annoying.
    EDIT 3: after almost a half chapter of tedious introspection by Tony Stark that did nothing to drive forward either characterizations or the plot, the author writes in the notes, "I love exploring Tony's character, so sue me." Yeah, with that kind of defensive childishness in an author's note, I shutter to think what lies ahead. 50/50 chance I'm bailing out now with a 1.5 star rating rather than lower because the story made me smile in a few places.

    All of that said, there is still enough of a hook to keep me interested overall, and the mechanics of writing are good. So, 2/5 so far. I won't actually grade it until I'm further in or have to quite because of the cliches.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2018
  5. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I started reading this because I'm trying to scratch that Wand and Shield itch (fucking @Roarian ) and realized I'd read this before. I can't even say anything nice about this. Its fucking terrible. I've seen maybe 4 other fics do the whole Thor is James Potter, and I even remember this story coming up in recommendations about how it gets better its just a rough start. I want the amount of time I wasted of my life reading this, back.


    Dialogue is shit. There are some things I can over look, the Gred and Forge thing. I usually don't pay attention to that anymore. But the Dursley's, the Tony Stark ramble, the authors notes as already stated. 2/5 because while it was wrote alright and the mechanics used, there is just nothing redeemable about this.
     
  6. CareOtters

    CareOtters Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    I've tried to read this multiple times but cannot get past the first few chapters. I usually come across it on favourites lists, so there's clearly an audience out there. It's not to my taste at all.

    2/5

    BUT

    Newbie OP, don't let this dishearten you. The format was fine, and it doesn't matter if we don't like the same things as you do. Please continue to put things up for review. Consider checking out Other Fandoms if you read outside Harry Potter, too.
     
  7. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    And if you're concerned about format, let this tool
    upload_2018-5-14_13-30-3.png

    See: AutoFill from FFN

    That @T3t built help you with that. It works for FFN links only, atm.
     
  8. Knox

    Knox The Last Remnant DLP Supporter

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    I remember reading this awhile back, and it was in one of those low points where you can't find anything good that you haven't read. I read it, and I'm ashamed to admit that I read way more of it than I normally would, but like I said, low point.

    2/5 from me just cause I actually read some of it.

    Characters were really awkward, most of the scenes the author writes are really one dimensional. Pretty much just turned some characters into OC's for no reason.
     
  9. Download

    Download Supreme Mugwump DLP Supporter

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    This is the same guy that did "A Wizard in the Shadows" which was probably one of the first HP crossovers I ever read. When you consider it was written in 2010/2011 it's actually a pretty good story. It would probably be considered a little bit clichéd today but it avoids the most egregious clichés of that era.

    This story has been on my followed list since it was about 200k words long, and I simply got bored of it. I haven't glanced at the story in at least three or for years. I don't remember exactly why but I suspect Nemesis' reasons are the reasons why. The fact this story has Ron bashing is actually quite interesting considering Ron was a central character in aWitS, best mate, loving husband etc. I suspect the author drank too much of a fanfic kool-aid.

    I'm not going to rate it because I haven't touched the story in years but I would probably give it a 2/5 from memory.
     
  10. Mr. Merriman

    Mr. Merriman Seventh Year

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    I don't recall any real Ron-bashing in this story. Instead, Ron is mostly ignored in favor of the twins and Hermione, and then later the crossover characters. At worst, he's denied the development that pretty much every other character gets. A lot of authors do that, I've noticed. It's as though they have a blind spot when it comes to Ron and don't realize that he's just as capable of character development as anyone else and doesn't have to remain the exact same person he was at fourteen for the rest of his life.
     
  11. Joe's Nemesis

    Joe's Nemesis High Score: 2,058 Prestige

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    I made it through about sixteen or eighteen chapters before I bailed. In the end it was two almost complete chapters of nothing more than expository introspection that finally seeled it for me. That said, it was good to read a fic that didnt Ron-bash. There were definitely hints of it in the beginning, but it never amounted to anything. (My last couple of posts in this thread have been pretty bad concerning grammar\punctuation. Sorry, I'm on my tablet and sometimes don't catch the autocorrect dumping words onto the screen without fully replacing the other word, or apostrophe ssues, etc.)
     
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