Hermione Granger: Brightest Witch of her Age. Fuck that.

I don't mind a competent Hermione, but I prefer her as a side-kick, unless I'm reading a major AU, Hermione-centric story, which has happened once or twice maybe.
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Harry is socially inept and has severe PTSD from his time at the Dursleys.

I want to read a montage of HP overcoming autism less than I want to read a Hermione story. I can't think of anything in particular, but generally anything hurt/comfort.
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Severitus.

I don't mind a mentor!Snape, but he still needs to be a proper piece of work. Petty and mean at the very least, but also content with it. Speaking of, I also hate the "Snape with a heart of gold" trope. Deep down, he was one of Minerva's lions. Who knew?​

The series is filled with quirks like that one. It really bothers some people and they go full HPMoR.

I like to interpret it as part of the weird of the HP world.

Teleporting would've been practical, and probably cooler, but there's something kinda funny about a big red bird carrying them by the talon through a twisting pipe. Always with the dramatics, that Fawkes lol

 

I don't actually mind this so much, if its just her friends calling her that. I kind of take it as a "you're smarter than us, and we don't think anyone else we know is particularly smart, so you must be the smartest" type of thing. Its the sort of childish, self centred thing that is quite believable.

 

"Magical" attorneys-at-law or solicitors.

Solicitors as a profession came into being because of the courts of equity and there's no reason why the lawyers of the Wizengamot courts would title themselves as such. Attorney-at-law is actually more likely as a title, but invariably turns up in stories filled with a bunch of other americanisms.

Something that would make universal sense for a European community separated from the UK superior courts are advocates and public notaries, however slightly whimsy and off-kilter titles are part of the fun of HP worldbuilding. Why not introduce some variety and name your lawyers serjeants-at-law, magisters or proctors?

 

Less Quidditch-toned body and more maniac-toned (Oliver Wood).

What bothers me is Harry being main heir to all the founders, Merlin, Baruffio, Peeves, Urik the Oddball and so on. Not that him being descended from all of them is particularly unlikely (edit: except Peeves), but if he is, so are another thousand wizards/witches. Also Harry having a dual-/multi-core wand (what is it, a CPU?) that is super special and powerful and special and better than even the Elder Wand.

Bellatrix being Draco in Leather Pants'd because her husband Rodolphus had her under his control somehow is also terrible - she's her own woman, though 'a bit' too devoted to Voldemort. I'd say 'poor Rodolphus' - she probably has him by the nose, or another part. (It would be hilarious to see a fic where Rodolphus and Rabastan were forced to become Death Eaters by Bellatrix!)

Does anyone remember the special breeds of wizard? As in, 'Sorcerer', 'Shadow Mage' and so on? That's a cliche that makes my hairs stand up, and not in a good way. Speaking of raising hackles, Animagus is already a very useful skill - why do that kind of writers have to make the form something overpowered? Why not something like a leopard, or an owl or something? Still very useful, but not stupidly broken (or just stupid).

 

Not to mention the sense I got when reading the books is that her intelligence was just really focused in the academic sphere as opposed to her being some sort of super-genius. Context also matters. Of course her peers think she's utterly brilliant when she's always getting the best grades in school. However, we also see that her success in academics hasn't always translated to real-world results. She panics and loses her cool with the Devil's Snare, ends up in a wrestling match with her opponent at Lockhart's dueling club, isn't an especially strong performer in the battle at the Department of Mysteries, etc.

Really, when it comes to "magical genius" Harry is arguably a better example than Hermione. He tends to pick things up pretty quickly and easily, and he can more-or-less keep up with Hermione despite not putting in nearly as much effort on his studies. Pretty much the only times we see him really struggle with learning are when he's trying something way above his level (Patronus Charm) or when it's Snape doing the teaching.

By contrast, Hermione's generally shown as learning through hard work and good study habits far more than any sort of natural brilliance. She's ahead of most of her peers because she spends all her free time in the school library and reads ahead in all her textbooks, not from any sort of innate intelligence.

(This is not to downplay Hermione's accomplishments, mind. With that much dedication to learning and self-discipline at a young age, she's going to accomplish a lot. It's just clarifying how she does what she does.)

 

I remember when I first saw this, 'You're the brightest witch of your age I've ever met', or something, isn't it?

That clearly, to me at least, means 'you're the smartest 13(/14?) year old I've ever met', not 'you're the smartest person in this age of the world'.

In other news, I have a possible irrational dislike of the fanon idea that Snape is Malfoy's godfather. Snape is quite a few years younger than Malfoy senior and they were certainly not year contemporaries at school, and Malfoy should have graduated after either one or two years of them both being in the same house. Even without that, it would be tantamount to admitting that Snape, a poor halfblood, is equal of stature to a wealthy pureblood like Malfoy. No way, Jose.

This is related to the other 'fanon' idea that seems to crop up in basically all time-travel stories. That somehow, Lucius Malfoy, the Black Sisters, the Lestranges and James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans (and, for bonus points, Frank Longbottom, Xenophilius Lovegood, and any other named adults not lumped into the 'old' bucket) were all within about two or three years of each-other at Hogwarts.

 

In a world where you can get pretty toned doing Yoga, don't see why the same being true for Quidditch is that much of a stretch, especially if the team focuses on overall fitness so you can do acrobatics on and off their brooms.

Buff? No. Toned as hell? Sure.

I find myself lately (in all fiction, not just HP fanfiction) despising 'specialness' in my protagonists. By that I man specifically Prophecies, being the heir to whatever the fuck, getting a super special power no one else has etc (not to be confused with being special because the protagonist is supremely competent or talented etc).

Naturally, that has me quite discouraged lately given I just explained 90% of all fantasy fiction ever...

I also hate it when authors get the voices of their characters wrong. Eleven year olds talking like fifty year-old British Aristocracy, for example.

Marriage contracts, and stories with that as their entire premise can get in the bin.

Moldyshorts.

As an aside, a fanon thing I think a lot of people hate that I don't have much of a problem with? Parseltongue making one good at cunnilingus. I mean, is it established that it doesn't make the tongue vibrate like a snake's? If not, it makes sense /shrug.

 

I pretty much hate all fanon, where "fanon" is taken to mean some kind of fan-canon i.e. fans coming together and agreeing amongst themselves (whether explicitly or by implication) to treat certain ideas as if they were canon.

There is some innocuous fanon, like the famous Notice Me Not Charm, but I would argue that this is innocuous because it kinda is canon already - the Leaky Cauldron has this effect, it's just never named.

Then there's the medium-level stuff, like the Tempus Charm. On its face, a Charm that tells you the time doesn't seem too bad an expansion of the universe. Except: (1) the Charm is generally depicted as a kind of hologram, which is very un-HP in operation and (2) it's established that wizards use and value watches, which would suggest that a time-telling Charm does not exist. If you must use Tempus, I would suggest having the spell conjure a pocket-watch.

Some of the more egregious fanon out there:

- Charlus and Dorea Potter being James Potter's parents.

- Snape as Draco's godfather.

- The Killing Curse requires you to feel hatred.

- The Dursleys starved Harry pre-CoS.

- Wards.

- The Dark Mark tattoo being common knowledge.

- The idea that the Death Eaters didn't know that Tom Riddle was Voldemort.

- Pepper-Up Potion as a magical stimulant rather than a cure for the common cold/flu.

- Trust vault vs. Family Vault

- "Masteries" as a tertiary qualification rather than a job title.

- "Light magic", "the Light", etc.

- Ancient and Noble houses being a real title rather than an example of Black familiy vanity.

- Harry as short (rather than skinny).

 

There is a way I can see that working and sort of fitting within the setting, if it's taken to mean to something akin to a Guild Master of a particular trade. But that's very rarely how it appears, and it's definitely not what it's being referred to when the context is Hogwarts Professors.

 

Hypocrite, you yourself use Light magic in Victoria Potter

 

This one (and most other forms of Dursley abuse) are more a matter of degree than flat out not happening. The Dursleys did do things like withhold meals as punishment and generally underfeed him relative to Dudley. While Harry was never in danger of starving to death, the Dursleys never fed him as well or as healthily as parental guardians should have.

By most measures, Harry's situation in the Dursley household was unhealthy and abusive. The problem is that fandom takes the canon abuse and cranks it up to one million. The canon Dursleys would send Harry to bed hungry, lightly smack Harry if he annoyed them by existing, insult him and the his dead parents, asked him to do extra chores, and encouraged Dudley's bullying. The fanon Dursleys starved Harry for weeks at a time, got up to torture porn antics on Harry on a daily basis, treated him like an utter slave, and gang-raped Harry as a nightly ritual.

 

Well...

 

That quote confirms what I said. Well, unless you're arguing that "The Dursleys had never exactly starved Harry" means the same things as "Harry was happy and well-fed."

 

We have an upper limit and a lower limit. We don't have anything else. The upper limit is super high, eating as much as you like as a child usually means making yourself sick because of poor impulse control. Not exactly starved as a lower limit is super low, but if his body never went into starvation, that means he was basically getting enough to eat. Children can be skinny even if they're eating enough; I knew several children with loving parents whom I would have described as skinny at the time. Something it seems we haven't considered is that he could just have a narrow frame.

 

It confirms that Harry wasn't starved, which is what I said in my post of fanon hates: "The Dursleys starved Harry pre-CoS."

I'm not sure whether you disagree with me or not; if not, I'm not clear what the aim of your reply was.

 

Especially considering James had the same skinny frame, and he came from a much happier household than Harry.

But yes, Harry got enough to eat to sustain his body and thus wasn't starved. However, "he didn't exactly starve" is pretty faint praise for how well the Dursleys fed him. Much like how the cupboard under the stairs was technically enough room for Harry to live in, but it's pretty hard to call it appropriate accommodations for a kid living in a house with two unused bedrooms.

Mostly just that while Harry wasn't starved, the Dursleys definitely weren't feeding him well.

 

Isn't that just a handy name for protective enchantments from canon? Or do you mean the mechanism by which there's a permanent protection spell of some kind around an area? Possibly dome-shaped? Possibly anchored in a physical object?

I might agree in the case of super generic stuff like a literal dome of vaguely defined protection (though one might argue the Shield Charm is kinda that) but there are plenty of examples of area-bound protections in canon. Whatever makes muggles see Hogwarts as a ruin and has them remember something they forgot and need to attend to urgently. The wall in the locket cave that requires the enemy to weaken oneself before letting them in. Spells Hermione does around the tent in DH.

 

That's a bit of a tangent, but I'll happy engage it. First, to clarify: the point of my post was that something being fanon is enough to make me dislike it, regardless of the content of the idea, because I fundamentally dislike the concept of any kind of "fan canon". The only canon is canon, and fans cannot insist on any of their ideas being treated as "accepted" in the same way that canon is, no matter how many other fans agree with them. This is not a democracy.

That aside, I do also happen to dislike the idea of "wards", separately from its status as fanon.

In canon, magic is categorised by magical discipline: Charms, Transfiguration, Dark Arts, Potions, Alchemy, etc. These are magically real categories, not just human categorisations of knowledge: for example, the limitation of the exceptions to Gamp's law apply specifically to Transfiguration magic, and Dark magic is said to share a quality of being difficult to reverse/undo.

The idea of a magical discipline of "wards" therefore creates the misleading impression that there is a distinct branch of magic which is concerned with erecting permanent protections over an area (and most fics which feature "wards" go on to detail such a discipline).

The reason I dislike this is because the magical discipline of "wards" is pretty uniformly worse than the canonical thing it replaces. In canon, when a wizard protects a place they have a diverse stable of methods open to them. Replacing all of these interesting and varied effects with "invisible magic walls with filters programmed into them" is, in my opinion, a terrible downgrade from canon.

The Shield Charm is basically the equivalent to the fanon "wards" (including its ability to block different things depending on the caster), which kinda says it all: what in canon is a single spell among a variety of choices, fanon turns into the only choice. In the canonical system, wizards might also:

- Prevent you from finding the location in the first place.

- Prevent you from entering the location by creating magically-enhanced physical barriers, such as an unbreakable wall which is enchanted to prevent you from flying over.

- Allow you to enter the location, but curse you for doing so.

- Allow you to enter the location, but have spells within the location to frustrate your objective.

- Place magical traps to harm you within the location.

- Have dangerous creatures/plants either at the entrance or inside the location to harm you.

- Allow you to enter the location, but require certain acts of you to permit you to reach your objective.

A rich variety of protections is, I think, objectively superior as a piece of worldbuilding to uniform deployment of invisible walls.

 

Magical Exhaustion

People dodging spells frequently

Authorial Smugness, whether in main character (HP in HPMOR) or secondary characters (Hermione in MuggleWank fics)

 

So what do you propose? Should writers do their own world building rather than adopting fanon ideas? Or should they be as canon-world compliant as possible?