Maybe he could make voldy be stopped in first year by dumbles, ginny dies second year and riddle makes a return, i'm interested to see where crouch jr. stands and i also want to see a possible h/fleur pairing (will never happen but still).

 

Scream at me, shout at me, hell, you can throw stuff at me.

I've abandoned this.

Not. Scared you for a second there, didn't I?

Yes, after a long break, I have finally updated this thing. Reason to be stated in Author Notes. See end of chapter for specifics.

Enjoy, and bon appetite.

 

Good chapter, however I don't like how you made out Granger to be some sort of genius. Meh.

 

She really isn't. She's a bookworm who studies hard and practically lives in the library. That doesn't equate to genius. I see Hermione as somebody with above average intelligence who compulsively reads everything she can get her hands on to seem like a living encyclopedia. She's certainly not any great prodigy or else she wouldn't have to study and review so hard. To make a Naruto comparison, she's the proverbial 'Genius of Hard Work.' Some intrinsic talent bolstered by an insane work ethic.

 

Sera's right in this case. She just has an extremely analytically geared mind, but her innovation and originality might suffer a blow from that. Point, in first year, she conveniently forgets she is a witch at the Devil's Snare. But her knowledge is extensive; it's the ONLY thing she's good at, and the only things that have supported her these three years are Daphne and her books. And the teachers.

 

i never read the story because i'm waiting when the times is right but.............i dunno about you but natural obedience to his father. all teenagers have to have a rebelious streak in them no matter who they are.

c'ome on, this is harry were talking about. the guy who brakes rules out of whim when it's needed.

so, i'm just worried if....

 

Er... that earlier comment was meant to ensure people's understandinng of Harry's 'I know what to do in this situation' type attitude. He will break rules, but certainly not where they can be seen or proven. And if there is no reason to break them, why bother?

 

oh sorry. i was just worried if harry is 'naturaly obidient' to his father.

 

I loved the chapter. *Grins* Very well done. I also like the training insights we were given. ^_^

 

Oh geez, very orginal, keep it up and this will be an awesome fic.


/Myst

 

Definitely the obedience thing (which you have already addressed) and Granger, the genius bothered me. Granger less so, however, as this is how she would appear, and according to canon, others think she's bright as well. Its only during 6th Year that we a student who BLEW her away as a student (Snape when he wrote the HBP).

Granger strikes me as someone who think about things VERY well analytically (solving the logic puzzle 1st year) but has more problems thinking creatively or outside the box (being frustrated and being unable to see the shortcuts in potions that Snape did as HBP).

Another question. Why doesn't Hermione get a prosthetic? Maybe it was being repaired that day, and that's why she's not used to writing with her left hand? (Think Wormtail's silver hand, Moody's magical eye, etc.) I believe that magical healing is MUCH more effective if they get to it quick enough, whereas if an hour passes and the wound remains untreated, more problems emerge (Moody's peg-leg). I imagine Hermione would have been able to get help quickly in the school (canon, it took the Professor's one minute to find her or so, just after Ron and Harry defeated the troll.)

Last thing is Harry's anger with MOody teaching the Dark Arts. COnsidering he grew up around Barty Jr. who was slipping him some ideas that Dad probably wouldn't have approved of, I don't know if Harry would have been so upset.


Also, could we get some more Dumbledore/ Harry interaction. I imagine Albus as trying very7 hard to quyicklyo make himself a fixture in the boy's life.

Anyway, UPDATE SOON!!


Anyway

 

chuck, (charms!) isn't what I said about granger before almost verbatim to what you said?And remember. this is told in Harry's POV, and he's not used to dealing with peoplw that are smarter than him on a daily basis.

... as much as Jr. would like Harry to fester in darkness, Unforgivables in a CLASSROOM? uh-uh. big no-no. Harry say, that baaaaad.

 

It just seemed like Harry was looking up to Granger as some sort of super genius when he kept saying how much smarter she was then him. And he kept saying how if he didn't know the work already she would easily beat him.

 

I'll agree with everyone on this site and say i didn't like it as well when Granger was considered a "super-genius". It stated that she was far more intelligent than Harry or something along those lines. While i could consider someone being smarter than harry, book smarts does not equate intelligence. It just speaks of a very disciplined work ethic. Sure, she can think very logically, but her creative thinking is very skewed.

The chapter is very original, similar to the other chapters. The whole obedience to his father thing bothered me a bit, but not that much. One thing that leaves me hanging is how was DD able to access the chamber? You needed a parseltongue to open the tunnel. Sure, i can infer that there are rituals or spells out there that can open a parseltongue-locked door. Maybe you could go into detail? Ginny died... YES! Death to Ginny!

Spotted a few typoes as well. IT's McGonagall, not McGonaglle. Found a betwixt instead of between somewhere there as well. There are not enough typoes to warrant me bitching about it but just thought you should know...

Great chapter! MORE!

 

i like it so far, specially that whole arm thing with hermoine, but iw as alittle confused when harry was reffereing to daphne as lecherous. doesnt that mean perverted?

 

very great and original story and an even better chapter, except the part about hermione,being so much smarter than him.

keep up the good work!

 

I didn't even pick up the "Hermione being so much more intelligent" bit. Wasn't Harry playing down his knowledge? I don't understand where you are all getting this from. :|

 

It comes from the observation that harry was mmaking anout the people that he know. Just check what harry`s thoughts were in the last chapter

 

I hated the hermoine being so smart crap, i really hate her, great chapter though except i feel that harry is too rule abiding and doesn't seem like he has enough fun..

 

I have to disagree on both counts mentioned above (Harry bering uptight and Hermione).

Harry is SUPPOSED to be like that - He's raised by Crouch the stiff bastard. Why wouldn't he be uptight and obedient? Where does it says Harry has to be prankster if he's not raised by the Dursleys? Dunno, but even canon Harry was never very lively and boisterous - Harry Crouch should be exactly like in this story.

As for him not rebelling against Crouch, think about it:
1) He knows that he's adopted
2) He knows his destiny
3) He knows what had Crouch sacrifised to get him ready for Voldemort
He should be anything but ungrateful spoiled little shit, like his half-brother.

As for Hermione, she's crippled and doesn't have any friends. She's spending all her time studying. Of course she's good at school.

Nah, my only problem with this story so far is that too many things are skipped and left unsaid - Crouch Junior, Harry's training, his life so far... The fic misses few more direct "real time" scenes, where the events aren't vaguely described in "passage of time" manner (dialogues, action etc...).