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Oneshot Cuckolding at Shell Cottage - Cloneserpents - M/NC17

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by uriel, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. uriel

    uriel Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Title: Cuckolding at Shell Cottage
    Author: cloneserpents
    Rating: M
    Genre: Parody/Romance
    Words: 8,516
    Published: February 16, 2009
    Pairing: Harry/Fleur/Hermione (arguably the main pairing)
    Status: Complete (One chapter)
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4867943/1/Cuckolding_at_Shell_Cottage

    Summary: All is not as it seems in the Epilogue. HP/HG-W/FD-W – Affair Fic – PURE SMUT!

    ----
    Story's been out for a week, did a quick search haven't seen it posted.. so here it is for review.

    Basically cloneserpents version of the epilogue at the end of DH, involving Harry, Fleur and Hermione. If you've read Sword of Gryffindor.. then you should know what to expect :)

    Edit: Forgot to put rating on the tread title. Can someone fix that? Can I?


    Checked: July 30, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2012
  2. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery ~ Prestige ~

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    lololol 5/5
     
  3. 007_rock

    007_rock DA Member

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    Great smut, just like a trademark cloneserpents story. Liked it. Ginsluts reaction to cunnilingus was pure win by the way.....

    5/5
     
  4. Silens Cursor

    Silens Cursor The Silencer DLP Supporter

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    I don't care for smut much, but DAMN, that was good. Fucking hilarious in every way (and pardon the terrible pun).

    5/5
     
  5. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Err ... what?

    I read the story earlier. While I did laugh, it was not in a good way. I don't care if the author wrote it intentionally that way or not, scenes like
    are just retarded. That's worst AFF level, and decidedly not good smut.

    Also, it was too long. I found myself loosing interest rapidly after the half or so. Ginny-bashing ... well, if you care for it, I guess. I don't, and since it's missing the fun aspects of our kill-offs, it doesn't really make the story better.

    This is stupid as well, btw. It does not make sense. It's exemplary for the rest of the plot with which the author tries to connect the sex scenes -- it's flimsy and stupid, not funny. Perhaps he should've stuck with a PWP here.

    Finally, the bonus point it gets for Harry cheating with Fleur on Bill is cancelled out by the fact that Hermione's in there as well, so eh.

    Something like a 2/5
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2009
  6. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

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    577
    So so porn, OK bashing, a few laughs 2/5.
     
  7. psihary

    psihary Groundskeeper

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    Sesc and thapagan already said what I wanted to say. The story is just... meh... (shrugs) 2/5 for the few somehow entertaining parts.
     
  8. KrzaQ

    KrzaQ Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    First of all, calling Hermione a brunette threw me off, but I checked in dictionary and the word brunette does in fact have a bit different meaning to it's polish version (which means a woman with black hair). On the other hand, I have searched all 7 books for occurences of this word, and guess what, JKR never used it. Not once.

    I don't care much for smut and won't rate it.

    I loved this:
    I liked they way author didn't bash Weasleys. For once, they are not a family whose sole purpose is plotting against Potters.

    Well, there's nothing more to say, if you expected smut you might, or might not, be disappointed, but from me this story gets solid 4/5.

    Guess I forgot about grammar or spelling issues but that's because I had none. I guess a better Grammar Nazi would find something, but I read through whole fic without cringing.
     
  9. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    'Atta boy Harry.

    3/5, if only for this paragraph.
     
  10. JWH

    JWH Unspeakable

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    Meh, it was alright, the paragraph quoted above was probably the highlight of the fic. Smut was OK, not 5/5 awesome...

    Also, this line made me laugh IRL :
    Yet another author who used a shitty internet translator. This line literally means "Sympathize, I wanted your cock again".

    2.5, rounded down to 2 because ^this was unintentionally funny.
     
  11. Sully

    Sully Groundskeeper

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    Rofl, did anyone think of scrubs when they saw this?
     
  12. meatzman2

    meatzman2 Backtraced

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    Melbourne, Australia
    It had its moments, but overall, disappointing. The smut is increasingly what I've come to expect, in other words, bad. The ridiculously over the top use of dirty talk because of the author's inability to express sexual gratification in any other way, besides he/she/the sheep moaned, particularly grates on the sensibilities.

    JWH's quoted line confuses me as well I don't quite understand what the author was trying to say. I grabbed ye olde trusty babel fish translation service and it gave me "feel sorry" so I don't understand where or how he got the word.

    Particularly aggravating is the use of the word sopping.

    That word should never, ever approach smut let alone be included. All it does is remind me of a mop which when you're trying to illustrate how sexually aroused a woman is, it's ineffective at best. But it was at about that point that it devolved from bad smut to something worse.

    Knowing nothing about the author it would seem to me to be nothing more than third rate smut written by a barely pubescent fanboy. The Author's note claims it's Erotic/Parody/Comedy, but calling it a crackfic would be generous as the author seems to be trying to be taken at least partially seriously with some parts of it.

    To conclude it's PWP and even then the porn is bad and the plot is worse. If you enjoy the occasional piece of bad smut and you're desperate for more Harry/Fleur then you might just about enjoy this.

    1.5/5 and the extra half mark is just for the few funny moments.
     
  13. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

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    Could have been worse. Like flopping folds. Flop, flop.
     
  14. meatzman2

    meatzman2 Backtraced

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    That conjures a rather extraordinary mental image, how does a vagina flop? I have a weird idea in my head of the labia repeatedly coming together to make a flop sound, which is extremely unattractive.
     
  15. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Boring.

    For some reason the smut actually made the fic worse for me. It just... seemed extraneous. Furthermore, the fic really didn't make me laugh in the slightest. While there were a couple of lines that were slightly humurous, to me it was forced.

    Seeing as how this fic to me failed both as humor and at smut...

    2/5
     
  16. sincostan

    sincostan High Inquisitor

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    Do French speakers really use "chatte" for "pussy"? The French interjections don't really do it for me.

    "Harry took his lovers in turn for the second time that night. All was well."

    Yeah suffered from grossness of smut rather than flourish of erotica, but 3/5 for paying attention to parody.
     
  17. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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  18. vlad

    vlad Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Fail. There's gratuitious smut, and then there is this eyebleeding garbage. Nothing about this was even that lulzworthy, and 'fuck my chatte' had the double bonus of being both wrong and blazing a trail towards unintentioned scat...

    0/5
     
  19. Scott

    Scott Professor DLP Supporter

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    I did lol:)

    It was a 2/5 from me but Some of the comments here had me laughing my ass off so now it's a 3/5 :awesome

    EDIT: 2/5 from me :)
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2009
  20. Magus

    Magus Groundskeeper

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    Yep, we're cut from the sam comedy appreciating cloth.

    I lol'd frequently whilst reading this. In my mind, cloneserpents is one of the true mastes of lulzy smut. This line was my personal favourite:
    5/5.
     
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